My Life Without You
by Kerube-Chan
Summary: WGM - YongSeo Couple - KPOP - After the death of her parents Seohyun seeks comfort in her ex-boyfriend. What they didn't know was that their time spend together, will bring with it the most wonderful miracle nature is able to create. A new life. But decisions were made and someone was robbed from the opportunity to be part of the life of their little miracle...
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**TV Show: **We Got Married - Season 2 (South Korea)

**Paring:** Yonghwa - CNBLUE & Seohyun - SNSD (Girls Generation)

**Warning**:

1. English is NOT my mother language, so it could have some mistakes. Sorry for that, no beta reader for this.

2. I actually published this fic before in my livejournal but decided to put all my fics together in one place.

**Summary**: After the death of her parents Seohyun seeks comfort in her ex-boyfriend. What they didn't know was that their time spend together, will bring with it the most wonderful miracle nature is able to create. A new life. But decisions were made and someone was robbed from the opportunity to be part of the life of their little miracle. Five years later after their last encounter Yonghwa is surprise to find Seohyun again and with a little girl that looks a lot like her… and him...

**Chapter - 1**

Seohyun couldn't believe what her manager was telling her, she has just talked with her mother this morning. It was not happening… it was not happening. Not this way, not this soon.

"It can't be true" said Seohyun with a calmness she wasn't feeling at all.

Her manager just looked at her with his eyes full of pity. "I am sorry Seohyun… the driver of the truck was drunk and he didn't make the stop during the red light. The police told us it was a total lost"

"I can't believe you, I don't believe you!" Seohyun said with her voice full of feelings. She could hear her unnies crying behind her, why they were crying? It was not true. "I need to get back to Korea immediately I will prove you wrong; I just talked with my mother this morning." Seohyun looked around the room; the expression on her unnies is faces was not making it easy on her. She grabbed Tiffany is arm. "Unnie tell them, you were there when we talked this morning…" Seohyun is throat began to close, it was just too much. Tiffany was looking her in a way that only told her that she understand her and she did, her mother has died several years ago and she was the only one that could understand her.

Seohyun could feel her eyes brimming with tears. "Unnie it can't be true, not them". She couldn't help herself the tears began to fall one after the other, she just couldn't handle this it was too much, her dear parents couldn't have ended that way they were going to life until they were one hundred, she was going to take care of them when they were old just as they did with her when she was just a baby, this was not happening. _Oh God, not them!_

She began to cry her heart out; her sobs were the most heartbreaking thing her unnies has ever heard. Tiffany held her in a tight hug while crying with her. "Just let it out Hyunie"

Seohyun couldn't help it, her tears keep flowing like a river, she couldn't talk, she couldn't breathe, she was running out of oxygen, her mind was in denial but her heart knew the truth. She could feel deep inside they were not here anymore.

"I can't accept this. It can't be true; my mom is going to receive me in home with a bag of dried apples" She told between sobs, trying in vain to wipe her tears. "She knows that is my favorite snack, I just need to get back to Korea"

Tiffany just smiled her a very sad smile and that made Seohyun cry even more. In the distance she could hear Taeyeon, their very petite very strong leader taking charge of the situation, talking quietly with their manager making arrangement to get back to Korea.

"That is the earliest we can go?" asked Taeyeon a little louder that how she used to talk to their manager. Her eyes were really read and she keep wiping the corner of her eyes just trying to be as calm and collected as possible.

"We are making arrangement to rent a chartered plane to Korea; we will take it first thing in the morning" said their manager in general to the group. "Just pack your bags girls" He looked at Seohyun and said "I am really sorry Seohyun, just stay strong… Now I have to go, I need to cancel your most near schedules here in Japan, I will talk with you girls later."

Taeyeon just nodded and put the girls in action by giving directions. "Just pack the most basic things, Yoona help Sooyoung to pack Seohyun is bag. Yuri I will help you prepare something light to eat, the rest of you just begin to pack as light as possible." Taeyeon walked to the couch in which Tiffany was sitting with Seohyun now, she gave the crying girl a very tight hug and told her "Don't worry Seohyun you are not alone, we are here for you. Cry all you want as long as you want, we will take care of everything. Your unnies are here for you."

* * *

Yonghwa was trying to keep his cool but the last three days have been hell. He has been trying to contact Seohyun in vain. Leeteuk has called him the night of the accident to tell him what has happened. He has tried every available way he could but Seohyun was nowhere to be found, not until the funeral.

He had to fight the media high and low just to get inside the funeral house. It has been five years since their We Got Married appearance and two after their very public breakup, but they were still a very hot topic between reporters and their fans. If not for that incident maybe things wouldn't have ended the way they did between Seohyun and him. But "what ifs" are just myth and people needs to life with the consequence of their decision.

The first and only thing he noticed after entering the hall was the lone figure of Seohyun kneeling before her parents is coffins; her long hair was covering her face while she was holding a picture of her parents in her hands… It was the most heartbreaking thing he has ever seen; she looked so alone in a room full of people. Just like a lifeless doll, he couldn't take it. He needed to go to her and hold her and just take care of this fragile girl. His bright and strong willed Seohyun was no were to be found and it just broke his hearth.

Before he could take a step in Seohyun is direction he was grabbed by the arm by Taeyeon her eyes full of relieve and hope. "I am so glad you are here" said Taeyeon almost in a whisper her voice full of worry. "Seohyun is in a very bad condition, the last two days she had barely eat, she doesn't want to talk and the worst she just stopped crying" Taeyeon is voice broke in that moment "She is keeping all in and I am really worried for her" Her eyes were full of tears, the concern for the maknae was palpable. "I know that things between you too are not in the best condition, but you care about her and I know she care about, even if she is the one that ended everything… please just try to talk to her"

Yonghwa grabbed Taeyeon is hand and gave it a little squeeze "I will do my best". Yonghwa began to walk in Seohyun is direction, he acknowledge the other people in the room with an slight nod, her friends, sitting in the back of the hall just waiting… all SM was there Managers, Directors and all here fellow brothers and sisters from the company and even a few members of other groups.

He approached her slowly and kneeled before her in silence, he was waiting for some kind of reaction but nothing happened, so he put his fingers under her chin and very slowly make her look at him, for a few seconds it was like looking at an empty shell, a very strange chill run through his body as he waited in silence for her to recognize him.

The agony didn't last long because a lone tear slipped from her eyes. "Yonghwa" said Seohyun in a whisper. He gave her a sad smile and wiped the tear with his thumb. In silence he collected her in his arms and just gave her a very tight hug, there were no words to comfort her nothing he could say or do will bring her parents back, the only thing he could give her was his support. "Oppa… they are gone and now I am alone" said Seohyun between broken sobs as she hugged him back and he stroked her hair.

She couldn't help it she needed him, she knew it was wrong after all that had happened but she couldn't help to find comfort in his strong arms, everything was better when she was in his arms. Life didn't look so bleak and her heart could beat again.

"You are not alone Seohyun" said Yonghwa as he sat himself besides her keeping her in his embrace. "You have all of us; you know your unnies are worried for you, right?"

"I don't want people to worry about me" said Seohyun trying to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop falling while she was in Yonghwa is arms.

"But they do, we all do" said Yonghwa as he gave her a peck on her head.

It was not an intimate gesture just a friend giving comfort. Or that was what Seohyun was trying to tell her heart… to just believe that it was a gesture of affection from a friend. How she wished things were different.

* * *

Watching Seohyun talking with Yonghwa gave them hope. The Soshi girls have been trying everything in their power to bring Seohyun back from wherever she was but their love was not enough.

Taeyeon watched in silence as Yonghwa gave Seohyun a peck in the head. You could tell he still was deeply in love with Seohyun, it was so sad that things has ended the way they did, but hopefully this could be a new beginning for them. "I think it is time" said Taeyeon looking at the girls. "Sunny and Hyoyeon please find Changmin and Kyuhyun, tell them it is time"

Slowly the girls and the two boys filled the little platform that was beside the resting place of her parents.

Tiffany toke the microphone and said with a wobbly voice "Seohyun I know there are no words in the world to make you feel better" Tiffany wiped a tear from her face "But we think your parents will want to say this you… We have no words but we will let our hearts talk to you."

_Note__: Song from "Tercer Cielo" – Yo Te Extrañare (I will miss you). Translated lyrics by me. Listen to the song!_

A soft melody began to play as one of the boys began to sing.

I will miss you ... be sure of that

Were so many beautiful and bad moments

That we live together

Seohyun couldn't help remember her time together with her parents as she sees her friends singing.

Details, small things

What seemed unimportant

Are those that invade my mind … when I remember you

How many sleepless nights her mother expend with her when she was sick, their time in different hospitals, the way her mother cried in silence thinking Seohyun was not awake. She knew she was sick and how hard she has prayed to God to get better so her mother wouldn't cry anymore. It has been very difficult years but their prayers were listened and Seohyun improved, she became a health freak, but no one knows how important health is. Just ask a parent with a sick child in the hospital or a person in his sick bed just waiting for a miracle.

Wish I could turn back the time, to see you again,

To give you a hug and never let you go

But I understand that your time has come

God has called you, to be by his side...

He wanted so

But I never thought, it will hurt so much...

Life indeed was precious and Seohyun wanted the opportunity to give back to her parents everything they have done for her. Taking care of them as they grew old was part of her plans. But now the important piece was missing and never coming back. She began to cry again, the tears just keep flowing and a lot more when her unnies began to sing the chorus of the song.

_"Do not cry for me ... I'm in a place_

_Full of light ... where there is peace,_

_Where there is no evil, where I can rest_

_Do not cry for me ... it's so beautiful here, I never imagined,_

_I want you to be happy… to do well and_

_When is your time ... I hope to see you here ..."_

She could see her unnies crying too, yes here parents will want her to be happy and move on as soon as possible but just for today, she was going to give herself the chance to feel all the pain and resentment and wrath about what happened, about how unfair life could be, about how she couldn't publicly love the only man she has ever loved and will love in her life.

I'll miss you ... be sure of that

To think that life can end in a second

Life is dust ... can spread in one moment,

You brought nothing, nothing you will take,

Just what was inside

The only thing that will stay with her forever is the memory of her parents, their love and support was her guiding light during her good and bad moments. She loved them so much and was thankful to them, _I love you mommy and daddy_.

Wish I could turn back the time, to see you again,

To give you a hug and never let you go

But I understand that your time has come

God has called you, to be by his side...

He wanted so

But I never thought, it will hurt so much...

Seohyun felt how Yonghwa tightened his hold on her, yes her feeling were so hurt but for a few moments she will let herself find comfort in Yonghwa is arms.

_"Do not cry for me ... I'm in a place_

_Full of light ... where there is peace,_

_Where there is no evil, where I can rest_

_Do not cry for me ... it's so beautiful here, I never imagined,_

_I want you to be happy… to do well and_

_When is your time ... I hope to see you here ..."_

I'll miss you ... be sure of that

As the song ended Seohyun found energy to stand up with the help of Yonghwa. She walked to the little platform and gave her unnies a really thigh hug, they stayed that way for a while crying together promising each other to never let go. "Hyunie we love you so much, don't scare us like that" said Tiffany while caressing Seohyun is hair.

"You are not alone we have each other forever, remember we promise, we will always be Girls Generation!" said Hyoyeon with their signature gesture, trying to cheer up everyone.

They laughed a little and for the first time, Seohyun showed the ghost of a smile. "Thank you unnies. It is time for me to say my part" Seohyun when up the little platform and toke the microphone. She whipped her remaining tear and with all the courage she could muster she began her little speech. "To my friends and family thank you so much for been her, this mean a lot to me…" Seohyun looked to where her parents is coffins were and began to talk again " As some of you know I was a very sick child, I spend a lot of my childhood in the hospital, but thanks to my parents…" Seohyun was crying again she couldn't help herself, but she will end her speech. She took a deep breath and with wobbly voice she continued "my parents were always there for me they never gave up on me and taught me that the greatest things in life are achieved with hard work and perseverance. I will take their teachings with me… this is their legacy and I plan to life up to their speciation."

Seohyun whipped her tears with the back of her hand. "My only regret will always be not been able to take care of the two when you grew older. I promise to keep myself healthy so you don't have to worry about me, I have my unnies and my friends and… I hope that up there you will be proud of your daughter" Seohyun gave their portrait in front of their coffins a kiss and said "Mommy, Daddy I love you with all my hearth".

Everyone in the room was quite and crying in silence as Seohyun moved around the platform collecting her parents is pictures. She went down the platform and Yonghwa was waiting for her with open arms.

They were not going anywhere she knew that, but she couldn't help herself again she found herself in Yonghwa is arms. Finding comfort in his embrace, in the way he whispered encouraging words in her ear… he was all that she wanted and more…

* * *

Without Yonghwa she couldn't be certain of how she will have survived the rest of the day, the caravan to the burial ground was a total chaos, the reporters were everywhere and Yonghwa have to physically take some people out of the way to make room for them. At some point he had to lift her and carry her the rest of the way to the car. Luckily the body guards interfered before the reporters could get to the car.

He went with her in the car, following the burial procession. In the cemetery, a few last words were said by friends and family of her parents before they were put together to rest. She stayed until the last moment, crying her hearth out for the last time but luckily during the whole process Yonghwa took hold of her right hand never let go. It was such a nice feeling, to know that someone is there for you no matter what… If only…

As they were preparing to depart the burial ground their manager came to announce them that the media was wild outside the cemetery. Seohyun couldn't muster the energy to confront them so a plan was made.

"Seohyun you will go with Yonghwa in Yunho is car, we will keep the media entertained with a few declarations so you can get out trough the other entrance." said Taeyeon confidently to the group in general.

"You better bring her save to our dorm or you are death Jung Yonghwa" said Sooyoung in a menacing tone.

Yonghwa just smiled a little at the comment and said "Don't worry, she is safe in my hands" He grabbed her hand, and keys in hand began their way to Yunho is car. Yonghwa opened the passenger door for her and let her in. "I will take you to your dorm in no time" said Yonghwa while igniting the car.

"I don't want to go to the dorm" said Seohyun looking out the window.

Yonghwa looked at her in silence, her sadness was a palpable thing and he wanted to do anything to make her feel better. "Where do you want to go?"

"Can we hang out at your place" said Seohyun while moving to look at him; her next words were stuck in her throat as she saw the way he was looking at her. She knew that look as the palm of her hand, that deep meaningful look that could make any woman swoon in the spot. But not her, she was not any woman, but she wanted him badly.

How many times in the past she surrendered to that look, how many nights they shared together just enjoying each other is company, their hands exploring each other is deepest secrets, to gain the bittersweet glory of been together for a while… Just to be separated the next morning for long periods of time. How she missed him… How much she didn't want to be alone that night, how unfair life was with her… She just wanted a moment, a moment of comfort in his arms… she didn't want to feel alone, not tonight… _Just this time, just this once I will think of myself first._

"Are you sure" asked Yonghwa as he took the main road. He stopped in a red light and watched as the last rays of sun caressed her face. He wanted to touch her so badly, but he have to keep his head clear, nothing could happen between them, for a moment in the burial ground he indulged himself in the memory of them together. But now was not the moment, Seohyun was going through a difficult time and he must take care of her from others and from herself.

She looked at him briefly, he couldn't decipher that look in her eyes it was just too quick. "Yes, I am sure, Yonghwa"...

**Author 's note**:

OMGEEE my first YongSeo fic and in English. English is not my mother language so sorry for any mistakes.

I am so excited, I have written fics before but in Spanish and for another fandom… so this is totally new to me. I have this story in my head for a very long time. And today I decided to give it a try, It took me a lot of time to write directly in English it is difficult for me, I just hope there are not too many grammatical errors… Even in Spanish I am bad at grammar, just imagine in English. And I know the cliffy is no good but the summary is self explanatory…. I am just wondering if I should make it a light lemon or something more explicit… uhmmm I can't decide.

So what do you think, I want to know if the flow is good and if you like the idea. I know the beginning of this it pretty depressing but don't worry it will get lighter in future chapters… I have a heavy tendency to melodrama so sorry for the depressing beginning.

About the song, It is a beautiful song. I love it!

Comment and suggestions are welcome. Pretty Please with a goguma on top!


	2. Chapter 2

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Last Episode…**

_"__Are you sure" asked Yonghwa as he took the main road. He stopped in a red light and watched as the last rays of sun caressed her face. He wanted to touch her so badly, but he have to keep his head clear, nothing could happen between them, for a moment in the burial ground he indulged himself in the memory of them together. But now was not the moment, Seohyun was going through a difficult time and he must take care of her from others and from herself._

_She looked at him briefly, he couldn't decipher that look in her eyes it was just too quick. "Yes, I am sure, Yonghwa"..._

**Chapter – 2**

They spend the rest of the ride in silence. A thousand different thoughts were running in Seohyun is head, the ecliptic realization that she wanted more, needed more of what she have promised never again ask from Yonghwa. That thought conflicted with her need of just one time, just this time to think about herself first… She didn't want to feel alone today… The dead of her parents made her realize how short our time could be, how you can live your life doing all the right things but fate has a way of getting in the way and make life plans change and move and see things under a different light…

Seohyun was shaken from her ramblings when she listen Yonghwa say "We are here."

"You moved from the dorm?" asked a surprised Seohyun watching through the window as they enter the parking lot of the apartment building. She knew the surroundings of his dorm as the palm of her hand, how many times she sneaked in and out of that place she couldn't remember, but she could be certain that this was not the direction of his dorm apartment.

"A year ago we decided to move out; all of us bought apartments in this area. It was decided before the release of our fourth album this year." Yonghwa parked the car and looked out through Seohyun is window in the direction of the building. "Minhuyk live on the fifth floor and I live on the tenth floor… Jonghyun and Jungshin bought their apartments in the building in the next block."

"Don't you feel alone?" asked Seohyun while looking at him. She couldn't imagine what life will be living without her unnies. They were a happy bunch to live with… in good and bad times they have always been together. She really really couldn't imagine herself living without her unnies.

Yonghwa gave her a little smile and said "In the beginning it was difficult, I was used to have them running around the apartment, but I assure you there is nothing like having a time for yourself after a busy day." Yonghwa walked around the car to open Seohyun is door and keep explaining "Our manager was having a difficult time accepting the new situation, but because we live in the same area it is easy to pick us and drop us as schedule require. " Once they were in the elevator Yonghwa pressed number ten. "Luckily promotions ended a week ago and now we are on holiday for the next couple of weeks".

Seohyun was listening with half an ear. She was asking herself how she could do this… what she was thinking?, she was about to step back and go running in the other direction, when without notice they have walked all the way down the corridor and Yonghwa have already opened his door… she hesitated for a few seconds until Yonghwa grabbed her hand and guide her inside.

"Just feel at home" said Yonghwa as he removed his jacket. "First thing, I think we need to have dinner you must be starving to death". Seohyun watched him move around the apartment putting the lights on, the place was comfortable. It didn't have much in the decorative side but just the basics… typical male. Yonghwa is furniture consisted of a dinner table for four, a couch facing the balcony with a great view of the city, a small table before the couch… In the right wall she could see some awards hanging there and in the corner was the kitchen. To the left there were two doors maybe some bedrooms and what caught her total attention was his floor to ceiling bookshelf, she was attracted to it like a moth to the light. "You don't change" Said Yonghwa from the kitchen smiling to himself. "What about some meat on rice for dinner?"

Seohyun was busy scanning the title of the books on the shelf. "Anything is fine" said Seohyun as she keep reading and watching the frames with pictures that where in between the books. Photos of his family, friends and FNC family. It was a good diversion to watch his photos with his friends and family having a good time and just having fun. One of the pictures caught her attention it was a picture of Yonghwa with his brother and his parents after his first Korean concert, she really liked his family they always threaded her as the daughter they never had. After their breakup it was difficult but she always makes sure to call his parents on their birthdays and give them her best wishes. Even if things between them couldn't go on as before she really liked his parents and keeps them in high esteem.

Then something in the bottom of the shelf caught her attention. It was a big photo book with the top colored in pink and blue. She recognized the photo book; she has received an album just like his as a present from their goguma fans… She was really grateful for all the support they have receive from them during the time after WGM and when they had to make their relationship public. They have supported them a lot and she was heartbroken for how she failed all their support. But it was for his own good…

She decided to look through the photo book, the first page was a picture from their wedding photo shot they were facing each other drinking tea and secretly smiling at each other… It was a photo full of warm and she loved it. She began to jump through the pages, watching the growth of their relationship from mere strangers to two people full in love with each other… The feelings were there and just watching the pictures made her feel warm inside just missing those carefree days she spend with him.

Then began the pictures of their time after WGM epic phrases from Yonghwa is interviews, the boy couldn't contain himself even if they have agreed to keep it low profile. You could see how his cheeks burst every time he talked about her. She keeps smiling to herself reading the messages until she got to a fateful picture… It was a picture of the two on second Korean wave concert in Australia, a year after the first one. That fan taken picture during the ending part of the concert has circulated the web like the devil and ended in the first pages in Korean newspapers… She remembers it like yesterday, everyone was asking if they were together but her and his company denied everything. But you know? Sometimes pictures speak louder and clearer than words.

And how you could doubt that they were not in love with each other when Seohyun was smiling a thousand watts smile while Yonghwa was giving her this secret full of meaning look that speak a lot of possession and not just a noncommittal friendly gesture, while they were holding hands. A light grip of no more than 5 seconds was all it took. That picture began the witch hunt that ended their relationship… but she didn't regret that, for the life of her she couldn't regret what happened in Australia. That was one of her most unforgettable memories…

* * *

_"__Where are we going?" Asked a smiling Seohyun while running beside her boyfriend, their fingers where interlaced in a tight grip. They have just sneaked out of the hotel through the beach. Today have been a very tiring day because of rehearsals for the show the next day, but for Yonghwa she will find time and strength from anyplace. Their chances to see each other were so few, that they usually grip any stolen moments they could get._

_"__It is a surprise Seohyun. Don't you trust me?" said Yonghwa smiling while slowing their pace to a slow walk after they entered a path through the forest inside the hotel compound. "By the way you are beautiful in that dress"_

_Seohyun smiled more brightly, she loved it when Yonghwa complimented her. She always tried the hardest to look good just for him and when he has sneaked them to back of the stage during rehearsals and asked her to meet him in the night because he wanted to give her a surprise. She have tried her very best to blow his mind, her white strapless mini dress hung snuggly to her body… well if she have know she was going to run down the beach she will have dressed in something more appropriate for that kind of escape but well, the dress have served its purpose; the way Yonghwa was looking at her told her of hot kisses and warm hugs. Just the things she loved the most, even before gogumas… gasp!_

_"__Glad you liked it" said Seohyun while smoothing a hand through the front of her dress… She looked the way Yonghwa is eyes narrowed in appreciation and smiled to herself, she was getting good at those things… "Hyo helped me to choose the dress; she is covering for me back in the hotel"._

_"__I need to buy something nice to my sister in law, she is a great help" said Yonghwa while guiding Seohyun through a difficult part of the path. "We are almost there so close your eyes"._

_"__Oppa, but I am going to fall" said Seohyun whining a little._

_"__I will guide you" said Yonghwa while grabbing her face with his free hand and placing a light kiss on her lips. "Trust Oppa, I will die before anything bad happens to you"._

_Seohyun smiled and kissed him back lightly on the lips. "I will die before anything bad happens to you too Oppa. I trust you" and with that Seohyun closed her eyes. She felt how Yonghwa put a hand around her waist, while his other hand was guiding her… they walked a while and Seohyun could feel sand under her feet again. She concentrated in the smells and the music of the night, the wave of the ocean were a nice background while the smell of Yonghwa is cologne in combination with the salty smell of the sea was making her feel all warn inside._

_Yonghwa stopped and whispered in her ear. "Happy first official anniversary, Open your eyes"_

_Seohyun is eyes became full of tears from the surprise; she was looking at a beach house decorated with white, blue and pink balloons, it even had a banner that read ¡Happy First Anniversary my Love Light!. A dinner table was set on the balcony and there were candles everywhere. Seohyun didn't know what to say, words were stuck to her throat… How, when, in which time he has done this?… Wait have she forgotten their anniversary, it couldn't be, she is the one that keeps track of everything._

_"__How? When?... Today is not our anniversary, right?" said a very confused very astonished Seohyun while trying to read Yonghwa._

_"__You like it" Said Yonghwa smiling proud of himself… She just nodded words were failing her. Yonghwa grabbed her by the waist and stole a deep kiss from her. "I wanted to surprise you for our first anniversary but next month you are going to be in Japan for promotions and I am going to be in our second Asian tour so I figured what the heck lets celebrate it before. You like it right?" Say Yonghwa while smiling like a little kid with a new toy. _

_"__Oh Yonghwa, you are so great" said Seohyun while holding him in a very tight hug. "I love it, but… but I don't have any present for you"_

_"__Just you, here with me, is all I need" Said Yonghwa in his most cheesy tone._

_Seohyun slapped playfully his arm and told him. "Stop been cheesy, Oppa" but she couldn't help but smile when he stole a kiss from her again._

_"__Let's go before the food gets cool" said Yonghwa while guiding her up the stairs of the beach house. "I asked for your favorite dish, it was a little difficult but here it is" Said Yonghwa as he removed the cover of the bowl._

_"__Steamed Gogumas!" Said Seohyun jumping up and down, clapping her hands. "Yeyyyy"_

_"__Now my lady please take your sit" said Yonghwa while putting the chair out for her. "I am your most faithful servant for this night"._

_Now sitting and before he could go to look for the buffet dishes, Seohyun grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, dragged him down and kissed him on the lips with all she got. After the kiss she released her grip and told him smiling "And after tonight"._

_Yonghwa kissed her again and told her. "I will be your most faithful servant forever, my love" and with that he rose up._

_To tell Seohyun was ecstatic was an understatement, Yonghwa was the best boyfriend ever, what more could she ask from him. She needs to remember to make him a great present… uhmmm maybe she could knit him a sweater._

_Before they knew it they were ending their meal after spending the night talking about everything and nothing in particular. Seohyun knew it was getting late, but she couldn't bring herself to part ways from him. Yonghwa who could read her better than anyone else, knew about her concern and said "And now before we go, let me give you your final present, it is inside" said Yonghwa while standing up. He took Seohyun is hand and pulled her inside the house._

_Inside the place was full of flowers everywhere, she was so occupied seen the flowers that just until the last moment she noticed the grand piano in the far corner of the room. She looked around the room and then at Yonghwa and said him "This is so beautiful… Do you want me to play for you?" asking Seohyun while walking towards the piano._

_"__Not exactly" said Yonghwa walking after her. Seohyun turned around to watch him and was surprised to see him blushing. Seohyun looked around the room again and now noticed the bed full of flower petals… she began to blush and before she could said anything, Yonghwa caught what she was looking and said with urgency "Is not that Seohyun" Seohyun just returned a blank stare waiting for his explanation, It is not like they haven't had some steamy making out sessions before, but never in a room with a bed… Backstage yes, changing rooms yes, cars of course, but never in rooms with beds. It was an interesting idea…_

_"__Sorry about that, this is the Honeymoon cabin and when I asked for flowers, well they outdone themselves in my name." Yonghwa was blushing more furiously now and added in a hurry to vanish the odd atmosphere in the room "My last gift to you is a new song I wrote for you"_

_Seohyun opened her eyes like saucers and broke into a big smile. "Really?" Said Seohyun doing little jumps in her spot. Yonghwa just nodded. "I can't wait to listen to it"._

_Yonghwa grabbed her hand and guided her the rest of the way to the piano. "It is my first piano composition and I hope you like it."_

_"__I am going to love it, Oppa" said Seohyun with a big smile standing beside the piano to be able to look at Yonghwa._

_Yonghwa took his seat and began to pour his heart out to her through the song._

_Author's Note__: Song from Chayanne "Atado a tu Amor" in English "Tied to your Love" _

**_Don't call my attention or keep provoking me_**

**_I already understand each movement_**

**_I like what you do to conquer me_**

**_To seduce me, to make me fall in love,_**

**_and you are causing effect._**

**_You don't know how entertaining I found your craziness_**

**_that to see you I invent a thousand excuses_**

**_You have left my senses in check_**

**_You test the engine that generates the heartbeat of every illusion_**

**_Look what you've done that I have fallen prey,_**

**_In your body and your mind_**

**_And in a hole in your heart,_**

**_You are present everywhere._**

**_And freedom, I swear, I don't want it_**

**_If I'm with you, leave me tied to this love, tied to this love._**

_Seohyun could feel her eyes pooling with tears. Yonghwa was singing with so much feeling in his voice, the way he was looking at her left her without breath. She really loved this man with all her hearth._

**_I just passed the line of your charm,_**

**_Where only look at you is a new landscape,_**

**_And weave the chains that tie my sex,_**

**_That sweetens my soul, that has my mind_**

**_And submit my body._**

**_And why let the time pass and pass_**

**_If you and I prefer to eat us with kisses_**

**_You have left my senses in check_**

**_You test the engine that generates the heartbeat of every illusion_**

**_Look what you've done that I have fallen prey,_**

**_In your body and your mind_**

**_And in a hole in your heart,_**

**_You are present everywhere._**

**_And freedom, I swear, I don't want it_**

**_If I'm with you, leave me tied to this love, tied to this love._**

_The first tears began to fall and Yonghwa gave her the warmest smile. She could feel her heart bursting with happiness… Oh how she loved him._

**_It is important, urgent _**

**_that you stay by my side_**

**_I will invent the necessary reasons_**

**_To be near you._**

**_Look what you've done that I have fallen prey,_**

**_In your body and your mind_**

**_And in a hole in your heart,_**

**_You are present everywhere._**

**_And freedom, I swear, I do not want it_**

**_If I'm with you, leave me tied to this love, tied to this love._**

_He stands up to wipe away a tear that was running down her cheek "Seohyun you know I am not good with words, but I wanted to express in this song all the things I feel for you" Yonghwa gave her a tight hug and told her in a whisper. "I know I don't say it enough, I am just shy, but I want you to always remember that I love you Seo Joo Hyun… With all my heart no matter what"._

_Seohyun brought her arms around his neck and just kissed him, kissed him like she has never done before. With all her might she wanted to express what she couldn't express with words. She keep kissing him with all she got, running her hands through his smooth hair, caressing his back holding him in a thigh embrace that couldn't be broken even if the world fall apart under them._

_Yonghwa ran his hand form the small of her back to her nape in one languorous smooth move that ignited every fiber of her body. The clip holding her hair in place was getting in the middle and he tossed it to the ground letting her hair fall in a long silky cascade. Yonghwa groaned as he put his hand in her hair and for a very strange reason she felt pleasure in the act of giving pleasure to Yonghwa._

_The kiss escalated another notch when tongues matched together in a battle of power that Seohyun lost because she was running out of breath. She moved her head to the side to try to catch her breath and Yonghwa began to kiss her neck finding just the right spot under her ear that he knows drive her crazy._

_Seohyun was having a hard time keeping her breath… The things she wanted… Oh god, she wanted Yonghwa to kiss her lower, touch her lower just in the right places that were aching for him. But the clothes were getting in the middle and she began to take action by removing his jacket._

_Yonghwa helped her while he backed her against the piano, sitting her in the key board. One of her legs wrapping around his waist. He leaned forward to close the space between them and began to kiss her again on the lips, not as urgent as before but with a lot more of meaning._

_Seohyun is mind was tumbling around, she has never felt this need so raw, so primal not from him and not from herself either. The need within them was escalating out of proportions she wanted to touch him more and that is why, now that he was without his jacket, she removed his sweater in one movement, her hands caressing his warn skin. Listening to him groan deep in his throat as she moved her hand along his back. His kiss became hungrier and she matched him every step of the way, until she felt her back pressed uncomfortably to the top of the piano. "Yonghwa the bed" said Seohyun between kisses._

_"__No, not the bed" Said Yonghwa as he began to kiss her neck again. "I don't know if i could control myself if…"_

_"__Who told you we are going to hold back" Said Seohyun. In all honesty her mind has reached the decision along with her body and soul. She wanted to be his; she wanted to be with him._

_Yonghwa stopped cold in the act of licking his way up her neck. "I think we should get back" said Yonghwa removing his hands from Seohyun and trying to step back. But Seohyun was quicker she wrapped her other leg around his waist and before he noticed she was kissing him again. Yonghwa tried to break away but her grip in his neck was strong and he was having problems trying to contain his need to please her. Yonghwa moved his head to the side in one last try to avoid a possible disaster. "Seohyun we need to get back, someone is going to notice you are missing"_

_"__I don't want to go back" Said Seohyun while kissing Yonghwa is neck. "I want to be with you"_

_As if he needed more incentive that having her warm willing body between his arms. "Honey, I want to be with you too, but this is not the right time" said Yonghwa trying to contain the urge to grind himself against her. Her long legs wrapped tightly around his waist were driving him crazy._

_Seohyun stopped what she was doing and looked Yonghwa directly in the eyes. "I love you too Yonghwa… I want to be with you" said Seohyun with her clear eyes shining full of happiness and trust just for him._

_That did it, Yonghwa couldn't take it anymore. This time he took charge of the situation. This time he kissed her slowly as if he had all the time in the world just to love this woman. Yonghwa could feel Seohyun is tension leaving her body making her relax in his arms. "Just to make sure" said Yonghwa smiling smoothing her hair out of her face "Are you sure?"_

_"__I have never been surer of anything in my life" said Seohyun in a little whisper against Yonghwa is lips just before she kissed him again..._

* * *

That night was their first time together as one… He took her to bed and made her feel things she has never felt before. At some point her dress hit the floor with the rest of their clothes, the smell of flowers impregnated the sheet and combined with their perspiration left a musky smell that send her feelings and senses in override.

Yonghwa was so sweet, kissing her slowly all over once and again until she couldn't take it anymore, until her hands where gripping the sheets with so much force that she thought she was going to tear them apart. At some point she found herself begging him something she didn't understand herself but Yonghwa understood her need and took her with him in a ride as old as time. The initial pain was minimal in comparison to the sensations after.

Their bodies matched together began to dance the eternal dance, just their hard breaths and the sound of waves filling the room with music. It have been magic, it was everything Seohyun have imagined and more… The feeling of fulfillment as they have collapsed together back to earth was so much that a tear escaped her eyes as she lay motionless underneath him, listening to him recovering his breath. In his arms is the only place she has ever felt so protected and so loved.

How she remember that night and the nights after, every chance they found they find themselves trying to emulate the magic of the first time but every time after was more fulfilling than the other, making no room for repeat just for new experiences together. Making love with Yonghwa has been pure magic. How she missed been loved in that kind of way, feel protected in that kind of way.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't notice Yonghwa standing behind her until he said. "I remember that concert".

Seohyun jumped in surprise an almost knock down the glass of red wine Yonghwa had in his hand. "I am sorry" Said Seohyun while gripping the photo book to her chest.

"I didn't mean to surprise you" said Yonghwa apologetically. "You were so engrossed in the pictures that I waited until the last possible moment to talk to you… Dinner is ready"

For some random reason she could feel herself blushing… Yonghwa was giving her an innocent look but she knew what he was thinking. Because she knew every time they looked at that picture both of them thought the same thing…. Kisses, caresses, warm hugs, rooms full of flowers, pleasure like no other, their first time…. "I thought you will get rid of all this things" said Seohyun trying to change the subject while putting the photo book back in the shelf.

Yonghwa just smiled at her and offered "Wine, it will be good for you after a difficult day" He kept looking at her directly in the eyes and then added in a teasing tone. "But with the way your face is all red I don't know if I should let you drink, your blood pressure could be in danger or something…"

Seohyun is nose flared… he was… he was teasing her!. She snatched the glass of wine from his hand and took a sip while moving to the coffee table; he decided to serve the food in his living room. She sat herself in the floor and began to eat from one of the bowls without looking up; she could hear Yonghwa chuckling to himself. She was not going to give him the pleasure of knowing how that picture has affected her.

They ate in silence just looking out the windows watching the city awaking for a night full of opportunities. Seohyun couldn't help but think about the picture, how good those years have been. Her parents really loved Yonghwa. He and her father had made click the first time they have meet and her mother just loved him, he has gained her total devotion after the couple necklaces gift.

Her parents and her unnies were the few that knew about her reasons for breaking up with him. Her parents have opposed her decision first, but in time they understood her position in the matter, but she knew that deep down they were hoping for things to get better as years passed. How she hoped things could be that easy… She didn't want her parents to worry about her, but how the solve this mess of a life…

Seohyun snatched out of her thoughts as she felt Yonghwa whipping a tear with his thumb. She hadn't known she was crying in silence. Yonghwa moved closer to her and rest his left arm around her shoulders giving her comfort. She let her head fall to the crock of his neck and let the tiny tears to slip from her eyes. "I am sorry for what happened Seohyun, they are in a better place now" said Yonghwa in a whisper while smoothing his hand over her head. "They were… they are proud of you, just be strong…"

After that just silence and their slow breathing was reigning in the room. How long she spent in his arms crying she didn't know, but she was grateful for the time. She began to whip her tears and said in a little voice. "Thanks for been here Yonghwa" she looked him in the eyes and with a sad smile told him. "You don't know how much I appreciate it."

In an impulse she moved closer and kissed him in the lips, just a like caress… Both of them stood still waiting for something to happen until both of them at the same time gave the leap that was needed. Their lips found each other again and Seohyun was finding comfort in their old routine. Feeling his hold tightening around her in a strong hug, made her feel protected again. In this moment she was not alone, she was in the arms of the man she loved. If only life could stay like this.

Yonghwa was matching Seohyun in every one of her desperate attempts to get them closer, he knew she was hurt and probably not thinking clear enough. But he couldn't resist her. Her kisses were full of a raw need that affected him to his soul; he wanted her to know that she was loved and that she was not alone… He was going to keep things simple until it just happened, in one smooth move she was straddling him his back resting against the couch didn't make for much space for movement, so their bodies were immediately molded together to each other.

Then she began to kiss his neck while making little circular movements with her hips, Yonghwa was having a hard time controlling himself. All it will take is to tear away her underwear, a rapid flick from the clasp of his pants and he could find glory in a few minutes… with her… together.

But he didn't want this to began like this, he wanted to take things one step at a time, he needed to keep his head cool. "Seohyun if we don't stop now…" said Yonghwa while prying Seohyun is hands away from the clasp of his pants.

"I don't care… I … I just don't want to be alone tonight, please Oppa… help me" said Seohyun between kisses trying not the let the disappointment she was feeling, for Yonghwa is rejection, to show in her voice. "Please help me, just for tonight; just let me think that things are in their right place, please…" Seohyun put her head in his shoulder and cried in silence.

Yonghwa grabbed her head with his both hands and make her look at him. Her eyes were full of tears and Yonghwa couldn't take it anymore, his heart was breaking with her… for her. His silent response was to kiss her back.

The hunger for their time apart exploded with a vengeance. Yonghwa couldn't hold her tight enough, strong enough, they wanted all from each other and much more.

Yonghwa is hand found its way under the skirt of her dress, feeling her through her underwear making her squirm as he touched just in the right place with the right amount of pressure to make her grip him more tightly. She was wet for him, he could feel it but the damn thing was getting on his way so he moved it aside and let his fingers work magic between her folds. Seohyun is movement became erratic and Yonghwa have to grip her hip with his other hand to calm her down… But the pleasure she was receiving was too much, their kisses became harder a clash of powers within.

Seohyun have always had a way of licking his bottom lip that makes him want to do a lot of indescribable things to her. And this moment was not the exception. He wants her to scream for him just then and there. His hand began to move expertly between her folds and before she noticed Yonghwa had two fingers inside her. Her surprised gasp was swallowed by Yonghwa is hungry kiss. The pleasure between escalated until she couldn't take it anymore, and with a final hard nudge from Yonghwa Seohyun screamed her release into the night.

Her spend self let her head fall to his shoulder… She couldn't stand up for the life of her. She could feel Yonghwa leaving small kisses down her throat and shoulder. She waited a few moments for her breath to calm again and she lifted her head to look him in the eyes.

Yonghwa kissed her hard and long before he said in a sexy whisper in her ear. "Do you want us to move to the bedroom?" He licked her ear and gave a little bite to the lobe.

A shiver ran down her back. Seohyun couldn't find strength in herself to utter a response, she just nodded her agreement. Yonghwa smiled into her hair and carried her to his bedroom, closing the door for a night full of new beginnings. Or so he thought….

* * *

Yonghwa woke up feeling in a very good mood, the feeling of peace and fulfillment was overwhelming. The things they have done and the times they had done it… After all this time their bodies knew each other as if it was just yesterday that they were together for the last time... and not more than two years ago that they had shared their last encounter.

He turned around to catch his source of happiness but ended up grabbing just empty sheets. He thought she could be in the kitchen, after all it was almost midday and they hadn't eaten anything since last night. Yonghwa grabbed his boxers from the floor and made a beeline to the bathroom, after taking care of himself he went out to the living room but was receive just by an empty space. He checked in the room beside his, but nothing… A feeling known to him was taking residence in his mind… "_She can't do this to me again" _Though Yonghwa to himself as he caught the sight of a paper in the kitchen counter. The first thing he noticed was that everything was clean as if last night he hadn't made dinner for Seohyun or he hadn't made her scream her release with his hand under her skirt in his living room. It was as if nothing have happened the day before… But his memory could never forget the long night they spend together in his bed the way her body molded to his under the sheets, the way her back arched just for his entrance… no she couldn't be thinking of forgetting the wonderful night they spend together.

And then it happened he recollected enough strength to read her letter, as always it was written in Seohyun is neat writing. The words engraved into his mind before he could read them.

**_"_****_I am sorry for what happened last night, it was not my intention to begin again what we ended so long ago, please let's be friends."_**

**_S._**

A bitter laugh escaped his lips before he said "Seohyun I didn't do it out of pity for you" Yonghwa tore apart the paper. This story was not going to repeat itself he was not going to let her do it. Not again…

**Author's Note**: What do you think? My first English NC-17 rated attempt. OMGEEEE I am blushing, I just hope it was well written. And not in the too trashy side… OMG I want to know please leave a little comment or review, maybe I need to improve some things with my English. Suggestions and Recommendations are appreciated. I am always worried if the emotions of the characters are well expressed in my writing.

And what do you think about the developments… I know the summary is pretty self explanatory but I hope to know if you like the way this is going.

About the flash back, I think that part can stand as a fic on its own, but I wanted to give some background about their relationship. Hope you liked it.

I like the idea of putting Spanish songs here, this time was "Atado a tu Amor" I translated it.

I love that song! Good Luck everyone, Thanks for reading! By the way I answer your comments in the first chapter. BYE!

**Another note**: I didnt want to repeat myself because it was too much bed time in this chapter *blush*, so I left implied in the end of this chapter that they have done it during the night in his apartment and she just left the next morning... sorry if it was a little confusing... :)  
I promise things in the next chapter are going to clarify a lot of things... dont kill me just yet... XD


	3. Chapter 3

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

_Flashbacks like this..._

**Last Episode…**

**_"_****_I am sorry for what happened last night, it was not my intention to begin what we ended so long ago, please let's be friends."_**

**_S._**

_I bitter laugh escaped his lips before he said "Seohyun I didn't do it out of pity for you" Yonghwa tore apart the paper. This story was not going to repeat itself he was not going to let her do it. Not again… _

**Chapter – 3**

She returned home early in the morning in Yunho is car. Now that she was alone in her room she gave herself the time to think about what happened last night. _"Oh God, what did I did?"_ She was so over grieving for him, for her lost… or she thought she was… and after all that time… after all she went through… It took her a lot of time to accept that sometimes, some things are just not meant to be. But now she ended doing the thing she promised herself not to do again… hurting his feelings was the last thing she wanted and she knew she has done it again…

Was it worth it, her selfish self say _"YES"_ It was like their first time together all over again, the way their bodies molded together, how they knew what the other wanted, what the other needed… As much as her rational brain has blocked their time together, her body betrayed her response to his touch, just as the first time and all the times after, she gave it all.

But now she has to make things right or as less messy as possible. She needed to put space between them, the note was the first step but knowing Yonghwa he will try to reach her.

She watched her parents is photo in her desk and her heart began to bleed again… She just lost the two most important people of her life and was going to break, again, the heart of the only man who has ever really understood her.

But as much as she wanted to give themselves the opportunity again she couldn't do that to him again, all the hateful comments, the backlash, the pressure from the media, their companies, she was silly and full of hope during that time, but one have to learn things the hard way sometimes… She knew what she did to him was awful… But how would she be able to live with herself again if something happen to him because of her… again.

She needed to think, but she was so tired that she couldn't make any coherent though, so she decided to sleep her way through the rest of the day. She needed the rest. _"Things always look better after a good sleep"_ her mother used to tell her… A few tears escaped her eyes before she could let herself fall to sweet oblivion during her dreamless sleep.

* * *

When she woke up again it was night, it took her a time to adjust to her surroundings… She took her time in bed, just admiring the cloud pattern in her ceiling with the help of the light entering through the window. She could hear her sisters going around the apartment doing their business, someone was cooking and others were gathered around the TV watching a movie. She didn't want to face their inquiries about her night out… She was really contemplating the idea of living the rest of her life in her room with no contact with the world behind the door… It will make things so much easier.

If not for the thought that in any moment her unnies were going to barge through the door to make her eat or worst… Talk about what happened last night.

In this kind of situation was better to be in the offensive line than be on the defensive line. So she gathered her courage and decided to stand up from her bed. She went to her desk to turn on her desk lamp and that is when she noticed a box full of letters for her.

She could see they were fan letters. She smiled a little to herself, while caressing the letters on top. Her unnies must have left them there, she was not in the mood to go through all the words of comfort and support… she knew they were out of goodwill, but her heart couldn't deal with it right now. True Soshi fans have always been thoughtful and their support through time has given her courage to continue to improve and be a better lead model. She loved her fans.

She was feeling a little better, until she saw something that caught her attention, her heart stopped, and a horrible shill run down her back… _"This can't be happening again, I have been so careful"_ she told herself as she reached with trembling hands for the very familiar white envelope engraved with her initials, and with a single red rose painted on the right corner of the envelope.

_"__Last night you were not"_ said another part of her mind… A million thoughts were running through her brain. But while opening the letter with trembling hands, she kept praying _"Please not him again, not him again…Please…"_

**_My Dear Goodess, _**

**_What did I told you last time? Last night you were such a bad girl, but I know what you are going through, so I forgive you. See how good I am. You are proud of me right?_**

**_But remember, this must NOT happen again. I will not tolerate it. You understand, right my love? _**

**_You know I want what is best for you. Just threat carefully, you know what could happen…_**

**_With Love, _**

**_Your most faithful fan_**

**_XXX_**

Her legs failed her; she ended up kneeling in the floor crying in silence. She thought the horror was over, but here he was again. She keep telling herself that it was just a bad dream until she saw the pictures on the floor, they must have fallen from the envelop, she gathered the pictures and was shocked to see pictures of herself clinging to Yonghwa during the funeral and on the burial ground, pictures of them entering Yunho is car and then his apartment building… but the most shocking was pictures of herself through Yonghwa is apartment window holding the photo book… The next pictures were of her leaving his building alone the next morning.

She couldn't believe it has begun all over again… She was going to have a breakdown if not for Hyoyeon who entered her room in that moment; she could have lost her sanity.

Hyoyeon was the one that found her sitting in the floor of her room crying. She has run to her friend and hugged her very tight. "Hyunnie talk to me, what is wrong?"

Seohyun couldn't find the words to answer her friend, she cried in her arms for a very long time until she found the strength to say "He is back" It was the only thing Seohyun could say.

Hyoyeon immediately understood who "HE" was, how many nights she have cried with her friend because of that mad man, he was the only person that could make their very strong maknae fall into a total mess of nerves, she became so vulnerable because of him, it made her heart bleed for her friend… Hyoyeon gave her a tight hug.

"What I am going to do?" said Seohyun breaking into a new wave of tears.

Hyoyeon reached for the letter in Seohyun is lifeless fingers and then the pictures spread on the floor. "Seohyun we have to tell this to someone…"

"No, I don't want to… Please Hyo, promise me you are not going to say anything…" said Seohyun between broken sobs.

A long silence filled the time. Hyoyeon could understand her friend is concern but she was worried about her too… Hyoyeon looked Seohyun in the eye long and hard… Seohyun could be very stubborn if she wanted and right now she wouldn't be able to make Seohyun see reason so she said "I promise, but if this turn for the worse, we are calling the police" Seohyun just nodded as she keep crying in her friend is arms. Hyoyeon sighed in silence and prayed for things not turning for the worst… not again.

* * *

**Some days later…**

It all began again the calls, the text messages, the emails… She have tried to distract herself with the legal matters, she have talked with her father is partner in the law firm, they reached an agreement over the management of the firm, she couldn't bring herself to go back to her parent is house… not yet, so she arranged for a housekeeper to go there three times a week to clean the house, she has inherit all of her parents is assets and the paper work took a lot of her time, for which she was grateful…

But Yonghwa is insistence was too overwhelming… It was so much that she couldn't take it anymore. Yonghwa have been more persistent than ever but she kept herself out of his reach. Until her sisters decided that it was time to take action.

Her sisters confronted her about Yonghwa, he has been calling them trying to reach her, but Seohyun was not answering. "I can't do that to him again"

"Seohyun we have talked about this. It was not your fault" said Tiffany trying to make Seohyun see reason… They were in an emergency group meeting in the living room of their apartment.

"Not my fault… One of my so called _fanboys_ almost kill him!" said Seohyun with difficulty trying to control the tears that were gathering in her eyes. "You say it is not my fault? You don't understand"

"Dear we really understand, but we want you to be happy too, we know Yonghwa is the one. Don't let your fear get in between you two" said Sooyoung trying to bring reason into the room, things were getting out of hands.

"He is going to find someone else and then you…" began to say Yoona but was cut by Seohyun mid sentence, it have never happened before, Seohyun was never disrespectful to her unnies.

"And then I will be happy for him, he deserve to be happy." Said Seohyun with a strength she wasn't really feeling.

"Seohyun look…" tried Sunny but she too was stopped.

"You don't understand… _he_ is back" Seohyun is statement was meet with total silence until…

"WHAT?" was the general reaction in the room expect for Hyoyeon. All of them knew who "HE" was. They have never brought themselves to give him a name; he was just "HE".

"We need to call the police, this can't continue" said Taeyeon grabbing her phone in the process.

"You have to stop this Seohyun" said a very concerned Jessica while wraping an arm around Seohyun is shoulders.

Seohyun knew what her unnies wanted, but she couldn't risk it. Not him… "And risk his life again… No, I won't do that. We already know he have a lot of resources it happened before…" Seohyun began to cry again. "I almost lost him the last time… I can't walk that road again… I won't survive it".

"At least tell him the truth" said Yuri as carefully as she could.

Seohyun couldn't stop crying "I wish I could, but I can't drag him into this mess, I have hurt him bad enough, he really deserve better..."

He really deserved better, not a girlfriend that could make him get killed at any moment; she loved him too much to let anything bad happen to him.

How happy they have been after their first anniversary celebration in Australia. During that time, rumors started to fly right and left but they have braved the waters together, their companies and they have denied everything… They wanted to keep their relationship to themselves.

It has been hard…

But as it happen with every secret they are meant to be uncovered sooner or later… Seven months after their Australia pictures, the net was flooded with photos of them walking hand in hand in a park near Han River. They have moved heaven and earth to find time to be together during the week of their birthdays. That night Yonghwa picked her up in her dorm at midnight with a large basket for a picnic under the stars… They ate their picnic over the hood of the car and stayed a long while just hugging each other under the stars… Then they decided to walk around the park hand in hand laughing, teasing each other, just enjoying the moment… they had kissed a few times too, like there was no tomorrow… That time Yonghwa was moving to Japan for promotions for two months so that was their last chance to see each other in a long time. He was going to fly back and forward but Seohyun was going on an Asia tour with her sisters so their opportunities to see each other where going to be zero.

After those photos they had to come forward and make a public statement, indeed they have been dating for more than a year.

Then it began… the hate… the hate was the worst of all. Fangirls and Fanboys were outraged. Boards were bombarded with hatred comments directed to her or to him or both of them… Yes, they have supporters too, a lot of people were happy for them. But just as many, hated one of them or both of them… It was really awful, but her unnies and his donsaengs stayed by them through all the mess.

The hate letters she received increased a thousand percent, her manager handled the cases but from time to time she got the opportunity to read some of them… It have been disturbing, so much hate from people she didn't even know… she keep asking herself time and again how people can be so cruel. She couldn't understand it.

On one of those occasions she have spotted an envelope that was inside the hate box (that is how they have named the box for bad letters). The letter was in a pretty white envelope with her initials, but what caught her attention the most was the hand painted red rose in the right corner… She has read the letter, the person keep telling time and again how disappointed he was on her for choosing someone so beneath her, that she should end it as soon as possible, because he loved her so much and couldn't stand to watch her in another man is arms… it has been disturbing the letter was written in a way that denoted a lot of possession over her.

She hadn't paid too much attention to the letter; it was one of the lighter in tone in the whole box. Until with months passing the hate in the envelopes with the red rose have turned for the worst, each new letter was more full of resentfulness than the last one and the threats began, first they have been light threats but then it became more sadist, she remember the words of his last letter to her before the incident…

**_"_****_You think I have been fooling around, you are going to regret not listening to me…"_**

If only she have known. She remembers that horrible day like yesterday… More than two years ago, she has lived the worst day of her life until that moment…. It has all began with a call…

* * *

_"__Hello my love" said a cheerful Seohyun answering her boyfriend is call._

_"__Sorry Seohyun, it is me Minhuyk" _

_"__Oh, Hi Minhuyk. How are you doing?" said Seohyun a little bit puzzled over Minhuyk using her boyfriend is phone, but it had happened before when they prepared him a surprise party… It has been a great party, that will rest in the shelves of idol history forever… Seohyun smiled to herself, she needed to plan a surprise event for their fast upcoming second anniversary she couldn't stay behind after the event of last year._

_"__Seohyun… Hyungsonim… something happened" said Minhuyk between heavy breaths._

_"__What… Minhuyk what happened, were your van in an accident…?" Silence was her only answer and she began to think the worst "OMG I have told you guys to use your seatbelt, all of you are ok, right?"_

_"__Is not that" said Minhuyk quickly. "It is Yonghwa Hyung…" _

_Minhuyk began to cry in the line and Seohyun is heart stopped beating, her palms began to sweat and a cool shill began to take over her chest. She needed answers but she have to keep herself calm to obtain the information she needed. "Minhuyk, what happened to Yonghwa?" said Seohyun as calm as she could, even as her hands began to tremble too._

_After a few long air intakes Minhuyk managed to answer her "We are in Seoul Central hospital, we were doing a fan signing event and as always we receive a lot of present, one fan gave him his favorite drink, a cold Americano… and you know he can't resist it, so he drank it and then he began to feel bad and fainted, we rushed him to the hospital and now doctors are trying to find what is wrong with him, they performed and stomach wash, but he haven't recovered his consciousness and that is the thing that have the doctors more worried."_

_"__I will be the there in a few minutes, in which floor are you?" said Seohyun as she grabbed her purse and the keys from her manager is car that were on the table, inside the practice room in SM Entertainment._

_"__Intensive care third floor" said Minhuyk trying to control his wobbling voice._

_"__I will be there" said Seohyun rushing out the door trying to hold her tears, she needed to reach him. She managed to put her cell phone in her purse and thank God she found her manager on her way out. She didn't think she was going to be able to drive all the way to the hospital. She explained everything to him and he has taken the keys from her shaking hands._

_The ride to the hospital was a living hell. She was thinking the worst and hoping for the best._

_As usually the media sharks were already in entrance of the hospital. Her manager have parked as close as possible to the entrance and made way for her by pushing people out of their way… She could listen the reporters screaming questions at her, but she didn't care, she wanted to see Yonghwa as soon as possible._

_She reached the third floor with a lot of difficulty, but the sight that meet her in the waiting room, really broke her heart. They were gathered around a man dressed as a doctor, she could tell his news were not good by the expression on his face. The CNBLUE manager separated from the group and began make some calls._

_The boys began to tear up and Seohyun could feel her tears rolling down her face, she didn't want to accept it, but she knew something really bad has happened. She approached the group with heavy step. She could feel the hand of her manager in her back, gestures of support as they walked together to where the boys and the doctor were standing._

_"… __His situation is critical, he was poisoned with some kind of altered substance, it is difficult to say at the moment, but his body didn't reacted well to compound… his unconscious state has reached some kind of coma, we are doing our best to control his body is reaction to the poison. But until we get the results from his stomach wash, we need to pray for the best…"_

_Seohyun is step faltered as she was listening to the doctor is statement. The more she was close to them, the deeper his words sink into her heart. _

_As soon as he spotted her Jungshin wrapped his arm over her shoulder, she didn't looked to stable, she was pale and her eyes were full of tears. "Hyungsonim we have to be strong" said Jungshin with a wobbly voice as he patted her shoulder. _

_She couldn't find comfort in the gesture; her boyfriend was in some type of coma. Silence reigned a moment until she brought herself to make the question everyone was avoiding "He could die?"_

_The doctor is answer was a grim nod._

_In that moment CNBLUE is manager reached the group and told them "His parents are coming from Busan in the first flight they can find"_

_"__Good" said the doctor "All us you must be prepared for the worst if things not improve in the next 24 hours, our biggest concern is to avoid kidney failure at all cost. We will put him in dialysis if necessary to help his body to clean itself… right now we can just wait"_

_A million of possible scenarios were running in her mind, the lack of air was putting a lot of pressure in her lungs but she had to stay strong for Yonghwa. "Doctor, can I see him?" said Seohyun in a very small and controlled voice. "Maybe I can be of some help"_

_"__It wouldn't harm anyone… right know we have made his vital signs stable enough" said the doctor in a very technical manner. "The nurse will come for you in a few minutes"._

_When she entered the room she was receive with a very difficult sight to handle by herself, Yonghwa was plugged to a lot of machines, she could see his heart beat was slow but steady, his breathing was even but a little fast to call it normal, but at least he was breathing on his own. That had to be a good sign, right?_

_She approached the bed slowly, her plastic covered feed making little noise in the tiled floor. She have been asked to change to doctor is garments before entering the room to avoid outside contamination._

_Yonghwa looked so pale; she wanted to cry… her heart was breaking for him. Her full of life, goofy, chooding Yonghwa was nowhere to be found… Just this man, fighting for his life in a bed hospital. For a few moments she though she couldn't handle it, she wanted to lie to herself, to tell herself that this man was not Yonghwa, but in the end she couldn't just run away from the problem, they have promised to be by each other is side during the good and bad times… This was just a test in which they will come out victorious she promised to herself._

_She closed the little distance that separated her from his bed and grabbed his hand, he was so cold, it couldn't be healthy. She approached her mouth to his ear and told him "Yonghwa if you are listening to me, squeeze my hand" _

_Nothing happened; she tried again but she couldn't find any reaction from him. So she just waited by his side, the next hours saw no improvement from him… "At least he hadn't turned for the worst" has said the doctor to her in one of his routine checks._

_She has spend the rest of the day just sitting by his side, a couple of times the boys had tried to take her place, they have told her that she needed to eat something, but she couldn't find in herself the will to eat anything. Her unnies called a lot of times; she couldn't take their concerns any longer, so she gave her phone to Jungshin to deal with them… They had wanted to go to the hospital, but the chaos was bad enough with the press people and the fans of CNBLUE waiting outside the hospital, to bring to the Soshi fans into the equation too._

_Luckily his parents have arrived that night in the last flight from Busan. As soon as Seohyun watched Yonghwa is mother is stricken face, she couldn't help herself she began to cry too. She got up from her sit and gave the older woman a tight hug… "Omma he hasn't awakened yet."_

_His mother hugged her back and told her "I know honey, we just talked to his doctor" Yonghwa is mother wiped some of her tears. "We need to pray for the best". Yonghwa is mother moved from her side and walked to her son is bed._

_Seohyun is heart was breaking; her mother was caressing his hair and talking in a very small voice to him. She could hear her saying to her son "Don't worry Yonghwa Omma is here… You are going to pull yourself out of this… I love you… Be strong" _

_The sight was just too much, her tears began to fall in earnest and then she noticed the arm wrapped around her shoulders. Mr. Jung was hugging her, she returned the hug. "Don't worry Seohyun everything is going to be fine, Yonghwa is a strong man" Mr. Jung smiled a little to make things more bearable. "He is my son after all" and with that walked to the other side of Yonghwa is bed._

_She could see Mr. Jung was really affected, he grabbed his son is hand and stayed in silence as his wife keep talking to their youngest son words of encouragement. She was feeling their pain too… She couldn't lose him, how was she going to keep leaving without him?_

_Seohyun was taken out of her thoughts by a nurse; she needed to move out of the room. "Just two people could visit at a time" she had told her. So she let them be, watching from outside the room through the crystal window._

_Then it happened his vital signs dropped to the floor and he just stopped breathing at all. It was so suddenly, it was like he was just waiting for his parents to breakdown. The alarms began to sound in the intensive care unit and Seohyun rushed into the room before any doctor. _

_Mr. Jung was trying to pull his wife out of the way and Seohyun took the opportunity to grab Yonghwa is hand with all her strength. "Yonghwa listen to me, you know you promised me we will die together when we are over 100 years old, you can't leave us now, you understand me… I am going to chase you to the other life just to give you a beating for leaving us..." She began to cry in earnest when she couldn't hear the alarms sounding anymore "Please Yonghwa don't leave us… I love you"_

_Those were her last words for him before she was dragged out of the room by the nurse. Mr. Jung, Mrs. Jung and her only could watch as the doctors were trying to bring him back. Seohyun could feel her world collapsing around her… "Please God let him live, I will do anything… anything" she keep repeating herself the same thing over and over again._

_Mrs. Jung was crying in her husband is arms and she… She was all alone, until Mr. Jung extended his arm and brought her into their arms. "You are part of this family too Seohyun never doubt that" said Mr. Jung as the three hugged together._

_Luckily the doctors were able to bring him back; he was now using artificial ventilation but at least was alive… His parents were inside the room with him, she was beginning to feel suffocated inside the intensive care unit. She needed some fresh air, she walked outside avoiding the waiting room, she didn't want to talk to anyone, that have been a close call and she needed to put her thoughts in order._

_She walked to the little garden behind the hospital, "It must be like 2 or 3 in the morning" she thought to herself as she was passing the reception._

_She was stopped by one of the nurses there "Miss Seohyun, you receive a package during the afternoon" _

_Seohyun grabbed the yellow envelope and walked outside. She sat herself in a bench as far as she could find, out of the sight of everyone. She kept herself quiet for a long time, just listening to the sounds outside the walls of the hospital. So many things have changed during the day… how she wished she could turn back time and drill into his head not to drink Americanos again and less from a total stranger. But grieve over things she couldn't change wouldn't make the situation any different._

_She decided to stretch her legs over the bench when she remembered the envelope the nurse has given her… How odd for someone to left a package for her in the hospital. She opened the envelope and out of pure surprise she let the content fall to the ground… There it was the white envelope with the red rose painted in the corner. She grabbed the white envelope with trembling hands already dreading its content._

**_My Dear Goddess_**

**_See what happens when you don't listen to me. You made me take things into my own hands… Now, don't be sad, this is for your own good. You are better without him, you belong to your fans and above all to ME._**

**_Next time, I could make things worse. Be sure to remember that._**

**_With Love, _**

**_Your most faithful fan_**

**_XXX_**

**_P.D. Because I can't stand to see crying tell the doctor to test him for chemicals on his blood stream. Who said Americanos were the only way to intoxicate someone; favorite foods are a good option too… And in small doses the better._**

_After finishing the letter Seohyun began to run like her life depended on it. She reached the intense care unit and found the doctor filling some forms. "Doctor what the labs result say."_

_"__Well, we did a complete scan of the content in his stomach and discovered traces of some kind of rat poison" Say the Doctor checking the result pages "We are treating him accordingly to that kind of poison, but he haven't improved at all."_

_"__And what about chemicals in his blood" said Seohyun with eagerness._

_"__Well the first exams didn't show anything in particular" said the doctor while looking the results again. "There are high levels of…"_

_Seohyun grabbed the doctor is hand and told him with as wobbly voice "Please Doctor repeat his blood tests again but looking for chemicals… I… I have a feeling that this is more than what meet the eyes"_

_"__You may be right" said the doctor reading some information he has dismissed before. "We will repeat his test"._

**_Two days later_**

_Yonghwa woke up feeling like he has gone to hell and back. All his body hurt, he tried to move, but was meet by an uncomfortable sting in this right arm, he looked down and found he was connected to some kind of machine._

_He looked around the room trying to remember how he got there until his eyes landed in the sleeping form of Seohyun over his bed. She was resting her arms in the bed to make a pillow for her head. He stayed watching her for long minutes; she looked a complete mess, but a lovely none the less. She has very large dark circles under her eyes and her hair looked like it needed a good brush._

_With his left hand he reached out to touch her face, the light caress make her move a little and after a few seconds she opened her eyes in surprise. _

_Seohyun straightened in the chair as fast as lightning and looked at him in surprise. Yonghwa laughed a little at her funny expression and told her. "You look like you have seen a ghost"_

_She didn't answer him, he watched in amazement how her eyes became full of tears and she just began to cry in silence, Yonghwa was beginning to worry about her so he tried to move, but Seohyun made him stay in bed. She gave him a hug and told him "I will look for the doctor"_

_Yonghwa hold her down into their hug and told her. "No, not yet" He was enjoying the moment it felt like a lifetime have passed since the last time he had have the opportunity to have her in his arms. "Tell me what happened" said Yonghwa as he released her from the hug and grabbed her hand._

_"__You almost die" said Seohyun squeezing his hand._

_"__That bad" said Yonghwa as calm as possible while returning the pressure to Seohyun trying to give her comfort. Giving himself time for the news to register in his brain._

_"__Yes" said Seohyun trying to calm her breathing, she was so glad he was still alive. "You were poisoned during your fan signing event; the doctor can explain you better…" A long silence filled the room. "You almost die" said Seohyun between sobs "You spend the last two days in coma… They were treating you for the wrong poison; you were put on dialysis to help your body clean itself because your kidneys were not working to their full capacity…" _

_Yonghwa stayed in silence for a while trying to let the news sink in. After a few moments of watching Seohyun cry to herself, he told her "But I am here alive and with you" he squeezed her hand again "As long as I am with you, I know everything is going to be fine."_

_The last remains of her broken heart were demolished in that moment, she will have to do it sooner or later, but she can't bring herself to do it now so she just told him "I am sorry"_

_"__It was not your fault. You don't have to be sorry for anything" said Yonghwa to her. He really wanted to hug her; she looked like she needed the comfort. _

_"__Yes, I have" said Seohyun in a very small voice._

_"__What did you say?"_

_"__It was nothing Oppa" She bend down and kissed him full on the lips. She broke the kiss and whispered against his lips "Just remember that above all, I will always love you Yonghwa"_

_And without looking back, she walked out the door, to begin the journey of walking out of his life…_

* * *

During those months after the incident, she has planned a lot of ways to broke up with him. She knew Yonghwa will not accept any silly excuse from her, so little by little she began to pull apart from him. Her heart was totally numb; she made herself be totally numb to his advances, to his questions, to his concerns about their relationship…

She remembers the lies she told him…that things were not good, too many issues in between and too much pressure in their relationship from outside and from the inside… She has told him she couldn't handle it anymore… She wanted to be free from all that.

She kept her stance and began to dig a big dent in their relationship… days became weeks, weeks became months and little by little he pulled away thinking that by giving her the freedom she wanted, she will think again and change her mind. In that moment they decided to end it as friend… or she thought…

She has played him gracefully until the very end… But always expect the unexpected from the YongSeo couple…

* * *

_The Golden Disk Awards were in full run. SNSD was nominated again for the Daesang and she was here sitting between her unnies enjoying the performances after their own have finished a few minutes ago._

_She knew that CNBLUE was next, their performance was a mystery to everyone, they have practiced late at night… well that part she knew because Hyoyeon and Jungshin have became really close, close, close friends._

_Word has spread around the net about their separation but neither of them confirmed or denied anything to the press, it have helped that they never made public appearance together when they were official… In good time she would make the announcement, she just needed that the idea of them not been together to sink in their diehard fans._

_Her unnies were the only ones that knew the truth of what happened… They have argued a lot over the matter, but she wasn't going to change her mind… Yonghwa is life was more important and above all everything else. Even her own heart._

_The announcer began to talk about a very special presentation from CNBLUE they were presenting a new song that was going to be included in their next album. The lights of the stage were turned off and just a single light from above illuminated the lonely figure of Yonghwa sitting in a chair with his guitar._

_"__I got the inspiration to write this song the last few weeks, and I wanted to take this opportunity to dedicate this song to my special someone that is sitting is this theater right now." Yonghwa dedicated her a smile and a wink. _

_She was in the front row so he didn't have problems to find her. She could hear her unnies talking between themselves, Tiffany grabbed her hand when her image appeared in the big screen and told in a low tone "Try to keep it cool Seohyun, just politely smile"_

_Seohyun immediately changed her expression from shock to a very polite smile. Like she was enjoying the attention when in fact she wanted to die in the spot._

_Little by little the other lights in the stage began to turn on and where directed to the rest of the boys._

_The first accord of Yonghwa is guitar began to play, they were playing live… Seohyun had to accept that it was a very nice melody. _

_Author´s Note: Song "Dejaria Todo" - Chayanne. _

**_I've tried almost everything to convince you_**

**_As the world crumbles here around my feet _**

**_As I learn of this loneliness I didn't know _**

**_I ask myself if I will survive _**

**_Because without you, my conscience stays cold and empty_**

**_Because without you, I recognize my love, I will not be reborn _**

**_Because I've gone beyond the limits of desolation _**

**_My body, my mind and soul don't have connection _**

**_And I swear... _**

_He was looking at her directly in the eyes, not once their eyes faltered from each other; his expression was full of emotions just for her. She was bleeding for him… _

**_I will leave everything for you to stay _**

**_My belief, my past, my religion _**

**_After all you are breaking our ties _**

**_And leave in pieces this heart _**

**_My skin, I will leave it too, _**

**_My name, my strength _**

**_Even my own life _**

**_Who cares about loses _**

**_If you take of my faith _**

**_What I will not leave…_**

_The lights exploded and the whole stage was illuminated, they were accompanied by a life orchestra._

**_Your good things hurt more when you are absent_**

**_I know it is too late to remedy_**

**_I have no right to avail myself of ten thousand excuses _**

**_Now that I know you will definitely go_**

**_Even if I repeat that I'm dying day by day_**

**_Although you are dying too, you will not forgive me _**

**_Although without you I have reached the limits of desolation _**

**_My body, my mind and soul don't have connection _**

**_I keep dying... _**

_She couldn't control herself anymore she began to cry, tears where rolling down her eyes without stop. Tiffany squeezed her hand and she tried her best to whip her face but to no avail, her tears keep falling down. Her crying image was put beside Yonghwa, is full of feelings face, in the big screen._

**_I will leave everything for you to stay _**

**_My belief, my past, my religion _**

**_After all you are breaking our ties _**

**_And leave in pieces this heart _**

**_My skin, I will leave it too, _**

**_My name, my strength _**

**_Even my own life _**

**_Who cares about loses _**

**_If you take of my faith_**

**_(repeat)_**

_She couldn't take it, she needed to get out of there. Before the song even finished she stand up from her seat, gave him a last long look and run for her life outside the auditorium… But the worse was that, everyone was stunned to silence when Yonghwa left his guitar to the side, jumped down the stage and began to run after her… Just as the song was finishing… The lights were still turned on, when the camera followed them showing the image of Yonghwa following a very distressed Seohyun._

_They disappeared through the side door and silence reigned in the place… The MC asked for a round of applause for CNBLUE, but the applause were halfhearted everyone wanted to know what was happening behind that door._

_Seohyun keep running without looking were she was going, she bumped a few people in her hurry but she couldn't stop to excuse herself she needed to get out of there. Without knowing she have reached the parking lot in the basement of the building, her manager always left the car open if one of them wanted to rest for a while, so she began to run to her van._

_She kept running until she was stopped by two strong arms wrapping around her stomach, she tried to scream but a hand covered her mouth and she was dragged to a darkened corner of the parking lot._

_After a lot of struggle she discovered she was cornered against a wall by Yonghwa. "We need to talk" were his only words for her as he pressed his body against her. "I know you asked for space but I know you better than you think I want the truth Seohyun._

_Seohyun stayed very quiet, she has missed his smell, the way her body molded so perfectly against him, how his eyes could see through her directly to her soul. "I have nothing to tell, we ended things as friends." Said Seohyun as calm as she could without giving a hint of the mess she was in the inside._

_"__Not friends… never friends Seohyun" said Yonghwa while wrapping his arms around her waist. "We can't never be friends" he began to kiss the side of her neck and Seohyun have to hold to his shoulder for support. "I want you so badly, I will never be satisfy with been just your friend" Seohyun tilted her head to the side to give him more access. Yonghwa smiled over her skin._

_"__This is madness" said Seohyun trying to control her breathing, she wanted to make herself stop, but the song he just dedicated her keep replying time and again in her mind. "Just a few minutes of heaven, I deserve them, we deserve them." Those were her last thoughts as she moved her head seeking his mouth._

_Their kiss was ravenous, full of need for each other; she wanted all she can get from him during those moments. She began to run her hands over his back to his hair grasping handfuls of his smooth hair, how she loved to run her hands through his hair._

_Yonghwa on the other side was enjoying the moment, they have expended too many months separated, it was time to compensate… He slipped his hand over her leg, she was wearing her performance outfit so her hot pants were of great benefit, he loved her outfits for that… He run his hand slowly over her thigh to her knee and pulled her knee up to his waist, making them closer. A little gasp escaped Seohyun is lips but she accommodated herself to their new position. He began to rub himself against her and he could feel how her kiss became needier with each new move, tongues proving, little bites, hungry caresses… She has missed him too…. And how she loved her reaction to him, he hadn't lost his touch she was like hot iron in his hands and he loved the burn._

_"__Let's go to my place" said Yonghwa as he keeps them under a steady rhythm, knowing Seohyun she could change her mind at any moment. So he needed to keep her rational mind out of the equation._

_And true to herself Seohyun said no with her head, her breathing was so fast that she couldn't bring herself to speak. Yonghwa began to kiss her again on the neck, she was enjoying it, but something by the corner of her eyes caught her attention… Someone was hiding between the cars and was approaching them in silence._

_Her first reaction was to panic, they were in a darkened place but if the thing around his neck was a camera, this could turn for the worst. The man has noticed she has seen him so he tried to quickly grab his camera… but Seohyun was faster, she pushed as hard as she could on Yonghwa is chest effectively taking him of balance… His stunned expression was met by a slap to his face and the flash of the camera._

_She looked to were the man was kneeling taking photos and decided this was her chance… "We are so over Jung Yonghwa, don't talk to me, don't write to me… don't make stupid songs for me, nothing… I don't care what you were thinking but we are over"_

_And with that she turned around living a very stunned and hurt Yonghwa alone to deal with the paparazzi. Forever she will be haunted by his look full of hurt… That was the last time Yonghwa tried to approach her. And that is when her hell of a life turned for the worst._

* * *

The next few days after the award ceremony they were the talk of the town, every single newspaper, blog, forum, tweet was about the breaking up of the YongSeo couple… A very, very, very public breakup.

Luckily the paparazzi hadn't focused in the passionate kiss they were sharing and instead focused all his energy in promoting the image of Seohyun slapping Yonghwa after his heartfelt performance for her during the Golden Disk Awards.

People were dying to know what happened but neither of them gave statements over the issue. Their companies only stated that they decided to remain friends after a lot of though.

She have been so mean to him in that moment, she has hurt him a lot… How could she have told that his songs were stupid… She wished she could take her words back but if she wanted to keep her distance some things were better to left unsolved.

She has been called a lot of awful names by his fan girls, a lot were questioning how she could reject him after such a heartfelt performance, where he was bleeding his heart out for her… She asked herself the same thing a lot of times.

Well you will be wondering about the song, as anything CNBLUE makes, it became number one in all the charts around Korea and Asia. People was in love with the tragic origin of the song a man begging for forgiveness but this time in real life things really ended and that have make the public go crazy over the song.

And now two years later she found herself in the same predicament as before… she didn't want to hurt him, but if necessary she will have to do it again for his own safety.

* * *

**Two weeks later after their last encounter.**

"Hello" said Seohyun as she answered the phone in their apartment; she has just come back from an appointment with her lawyer.

"I am outside your dorm, we need to talk" said the serious voice of Yonghwa on the other side of the line. She was thinking about hanging up, but it was like he could read her mind "And don't you dear to hang up on me or I swear to you I will go to your apartment and breakdown that door if necessary… If you don't want your neighbors involved in this you better come down in the next two minutes"  
She could tell he was mad, beyond mad he was furious. "Ok" said Seohyun with calmness she was not feeling. Sooner or later she was going to have to face him… better be over with this.

She reached the entrance of her building, indeed he was waiting for her. They walked a distance until they were in a solitary corner of the park in front of her apartment complex.

"We can't do this again Oppa, what happened was a mistake" _I don't want you to be hurt again. _She couldn't take it if something happened to him just as her parents. That time she almost died with him in that hospital… If it was in her hands, it will not happen. Never again. She has promised herself she will protect her loved ones forever. "I wasn't thinking straight my emotions were too raw…"

"I know Hyun, but…" tried to say Yonghwa but was stopped by her.

"Don't call me that" said Seohyun as she turned around, she couldn't bring herself to face him. A long silence filled the air. "I Think it is better is we keep things as before"

Yonghwa grabbed her by the arm and make her look at him… "So, no calls, no texts, no emails" Yonghwa looked hurt. "I understand. I guess I needed to hear it from you…"

"I am sorry… I just want us to remain friends" said Seohyun in a very small voice her gaze fixed on the ground.

Yonghwa make her look at him with a hand under her shin "You are always saying you are sorry, over and over I let you walk over me and all I get is a simple sorry… How sad for the both of us" Yonghwa took a deep breath "You know I promised myself I wouldn't beg you ever again you ended every possibility of a happily ever after between us, you killed that dream…" For a moment his gaze became softer, until they recovered their icy glare. "But… But here I am barely containing the impulse to drop to my knees and beg you to give us another chance… but not again."

Seohyun could feel her eyes filling with tears "Yonghwa, I am really sor…"

"Don't say it; I am sick of this…" Yonghwa is eyes became darker, he was hurt. "No worries… Any time you need a _fuck_ friend just for the heck of it, just give me a call." He was here to try to make things better between them but SH has made the decision for the both of them. He looked how she paled after his word and a part of him was glad of it, the other part was not sure about it.

Seohyun keep herself collected she deserved that. Her eyes watered more but she tried to keep it cool.

"Thank you for been there during the funeral, I know I just keep making things between us worst but I really appreciate it" Seohyun gave him a little bow. "Please take care Oppa." Those were her last words for him, before she began to walk to her dorm.

Yonghwa watched her go with a heavy heart; it was the same as two years ago. The feelings were there again, the hurt was too much, you would think time will make things easier, but it was not that simple. Not after having her again in his arms, not after been able to touch her and comfort her and make her feel as a woman time and again. Feel her breath against his neck while she slept soundly in his arms, the feeling of completeness during those moments will haunt him forever.

He watched her go until she disappeared inside the building. "As you wish my Goddess".

* * *

Hyoyeon watched her come back to the dorm drenched in tears, she just moved closer to her friend and gave her a tight hug "Are you sure of this Hyunnie".

"No I am not, but I can't bear the thought of losing him too."… _Please God just take good care of him from now on_.

**Author`s Note**:

OMGEEEEE what a long chapter. I will like to make a few quick statements:

** I wanted to create some kind of awareness over the extreme fandom issue and the so called anti fans. I will not deal with anti fans but I think it is a total waste of their time to live life just to make other people miserable.

** Returning to my point, this idea of the crazy fan was taken by the incident that happened to Yunho from DBSK a few years back. I was outraged when a so called anti fan of him have given him a drink with glue. The poor boy ended in the hospital with the stomach wash included. The videos of his manager running with him in his back carrying him to the hospital are all over the internet. Personal opinion: I find the necessity of hurting someone you don't even know totally despicable.

**By the way Yunho didn't present charges because the girl was 16 the same age as his sister… Nothing to add.

With that said, I hope this have cleared some doubts. I wanted to solve all your questions about their breakup in one chapter, that is why it was so long.

The time line is a little messy because we are going back and forward a lot, so to clear things:

**Right now we are 5 years after they ended WGM, 2 after their very public breakup.

**During this chapters you have seen flashbacks of their time together to give context to their complicated relationship.

**She got pregnant the night of her parents is funeral... She doesn't know yet.

**Yes, as stated in the summary we are going to jump five years into the future in the end of this transition.

Hope that helps! Ask if you are still confused. Please reviews all really appreciated, I have been writing and re-writing for the last two days this chapter, I hope you liked it. Will answer your comments.

Good Luck everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Last Episode…**

_Seohyun could feel her eyes filling with tears "Yonghwa, I am really sor…"_

_"__Don't say it; I am sick of this…" Yonghwa is eyes became darker, he was hurt. "No worries… Any time you need a fuck friend just for the heck of it, just give me a call." He was here to try to make things better between them but SH has made the decision for the both of them. He looked how she paled after his word and a part of him was glad of it, the other part was not sure about it._

_Seohyun keep herself collected she deserved that. Her eyes watered more but she tried to keep it cool._

_"__Thank you for been there during the funeral, I know I just keep making things between us worst but I really appreciate it" Seohyun gave him a little bow. "Please take care Oppa." Those were her last words for him, before she began to walk to her dorm._

_Yonghwa watched her go with a heavy heart; it was the same as two years ago. The feelings were there again, the hurt was too much, you would think time will make things easier, but it was not that simple. Not after having her again in his arms, not after been able to touch her and comfort her and make her feel as a woman time and again. Feel her breath against his neck while she slept soundly in his arms, the feeling of completeness during those moments will haunt him forever._

_He watched her go until she disappeared inside the building. "As you wish my Goddess"._

* * *

_Hyoyeon watched her come back to the dorm drenched in tears, she just moved closer to her friend and gave her a tight hug "Are you sure of this Hyunnie". _

_"__No I am not, but I can't bear the thought of losing him too."… Please God just take good care of him from now on._

**Chapter – 4**

She was trying to live one step at a time but her life became a living hell after her last encounter with Yonghwa… She began to think it was the combination of things, her parents is death, Yonghwa… So much hurt that she thought her body was taking its toll for the emotional drain.

After the day of her talk with him, she began to feel really bad, she have been throwing up every day, can't stand foods with strong smells. Two weeks have passed and her unnies were worried about her, she was getting thinner and the sleepless nights made her look like a walking death.

Until the day she fainted in her dorm. Her unnies had to carry her to the nearest hospital. They were worried to death because of her.

Taeyeon always the trustworthy leader began to give orders once in the hospital. "Sunny contact your uncle, tell him what just happened, we need some people from PR here", "Yuri, Yoona and Hyoyeon call the managers, the reporters are going to be here at any moment, we need protection and soon… Jessica go back to the dorm with Sooyoung and get Seohyun a bag with some of her clothes we don't know how long she is going to be here"

Taeyeon walked back into the room assigned to Seohyun, Tiffany was watching over their little mankae she looked so thin and fragile, they were really worried, she was the one that never got sick, never have problems with food, their little health monster is condition was worrying her to death. "Any changes?"

"No, the doctor said we have to wait for her to wake up" said Tiffany while arranging Seohyun is hair in a motherly way… always the caring one.

"The IV is almost over" said Taeyeon looking at the almost empty bag. In that moment Seohyun opened her eyes a little and tried to sit herself. Tiffany restrained her and told her "No, don't try to sit up. Taeyeon get the doctor".

"What happened unnie" said a drowsy Seohyun trying to adapt to her environment. She could hear a door closing in the distance.

"You fainted on us Hyunie, we were scared to death. You are in the hospital… Taeyeon is going to bring the doctor so just wait."

A man in doctor garments entered the room before Taeyeon; he looked like a nice old man. He approached her bed and began to question her "I have been told that you have weeks feeling bad, tell me your symptoms" Seohyun began to describe her days… throwing up every day, not been able to eat properly and a lot more things in the same line… "Uhmm" said the doctor looking at the charts in his hands "When was your last period".

The meaning was clear to everyone in the room, Seohyun opened her eyes like saucers and looked at her unnies, her hearth was stuck in her throat and with difficulty she said "I am two weeks late"…

"I will add another blood test for confirmation, but your symptoms are a clear sign of pregnancy" Said the doctor while scribbling some instructions in her chart.

After the doctor left the room, silence reigned for a long while.

"Seohyun, could it be possible" Told a very worried Tiffany. Seohyun was counting the days… and it matched pretty well, her head was spinning like crazy, thank God she was lying on the bed, because she was thinking she could faint from the impression in any moment…

"Seohyun answer us, it is possible?" said Taeyeon as calm as possible.

"Yes" was all Seohyun could master to say.

"Oh My God" was the only thing Tiffany said under her breath.

Taeyeon was the one that took charge over the silent chaos that was brewing inside the room. "First thing, decision must be made but we need to keep quiet about this, until we decide what to do" Taeyeon moved close to Seohyun is bed, she grabbed her Mankae is hand and told her "Don't worry Seohyun we are here for you, no matter what we will support you to the end"

Tiffany looked at SH lying in bed, she looked pale, the little color she has gained with the IV was out of her system after the news… but a baby is always a welcome gift no matter what "I can't believe our little sister is going to be a mom, I am so happy for you!" told her Tiffany while holding her other hand and squeezing it as hard as she could, giving her support.

Seohyun is eyes became full of tears… she was going to be a mom, not until Tiffany told it did she realize the magnitude of what was happening… she was going to be responsible for a little someone is life… She was scared… For a few seconds she began to have a panic attack, but then she grabbed her stomach and realized that someone was already there and her heart burst with an inexplicable joy, she was going to love her baby with all her might… She couldn't express in words how she felt; the overwhelming feeling of completeness, the feelings contained in her hearth were too much to express in words, so she began to cry…. But this time they were happy tears. She was happy.

Taeyeon and Tiffany were worried but after she calmed long enough she said "Unnies I am… I am so happy… I am not going to be alone anymore; this baby means the world to me… I will take good care of him or her…" She loved her child so much already.

Her friends burst into happy tears too and the three shared a hug for a long time… Then the rest of the Soshi girls entered the room and were surprised with what they found… "What happened?" asked a worried Sooyoung while resting the bag with Seohyun is clothes in the floor… Her three friends were crying buckets.

"Can we tell them?" asked Tiffany with her eyes smile in full force. Seohyun just nodded her agreement; she couldn't stop her happy tears "Girls you are going to be aunts, yeyyyy!"

Silence reigned in the room, for a moment shock was the only thing that was registering in the other girls is faces… Hyoyeon was the first one to react; she jumped on Seohyun and hugged her with all her might. "OMG I am going to be an aunt, Ah! I am so happy for you Seohyun".

One by one her unnies joined the celebration, some expressing their worries but still happy for Seohyun… "We need to think about names" said Yuri a little louder to try to call the mass of over happy girls to control over one topic at a time.

"Sunny is a good name" said Sunny mischievously to the group.

That started a battle of will between the Soshi unnies; the fight was escalating so much, they keep getting louder and louder… Seohyun was enjoying the distraction and was having fun with it, but she needed to stop them before they came down to fists and said… "Don't you think is too early for a name, we don't know if it is going to be a boy or a girl"… that calmed the madness a little bit… just a little bit.

"Oh, Seohyun you are going to be such a great mom, your baby will not have to worry about anything…" said Hyoyeon wiping a tear running down her check "But… when it happened, how it happened" Hyoyeon rethought her statement and smiled cheekily… "Well, the how we know we don't need the details but the when will be good"

Everyone burst into fits of laughs on the room except Seohyun, she was thinking about Hyoyeon is question.

"It was after my parents is funeral… I … I spend the night at Yonghwa is place" said Seohyun while blushing furiously… Yonghwa was the only man she has shared that kind of intimacy in all her life, there was no question over who the father is.

Silence reigned in the room and the Jessica asked in a serious voice "Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know" was Seohyun is truthful answer. They were so many things to think about; she needed to think about it.

Taeyeon approached the bed and grabbed her hand… "Seohyun no matter all that has happened, he is the father of your child and he have a right to know about it, you can't denied him that"

The doctor is arrival helped Seohyun escape the question… She had a lot of things to think about.

The answer was as they expected the blood test was positive, she was pregnant, one month old pregnant… The doctor recommended her a specialist and arranged for an appointment the next day... She needed to check her health and her baby is health.

They asked the doctor to not tell anyone about her condition, not even their managers. The doctor agreed to it.

That day a statement was issued to the reporters saying that Seohyun have not been feeling well since the death of her parents and she fainted because of fatigue.

* * *

**A few days later in SM CEO's office**

She has made a lot of thinking and before telling her unnies she wanted to come clear with her boss… The decision was made.

"Ok, Seohyun what can I do for you?" said Lee So Man to Seohyun as he seated himself behind his desk.

"I am leaving SNSD" said Seohyun very calmly.

Too her surprise Mr. Lee keeps his cool, just his eyebrows raised a little bit, showing some kind of surprise. "Go on please; I will like to listen to what you have to say."

"I am pregnant" said Seohyun as fast as she could. "I am pregnant" She repeated after she didn't hear a word from Mr. Lee. "You don't have anything to say Mr. Lee?"

"I already know Seohyun" said Mr. Lee looking at her straight in the eye. "In this business you have to be a step before from everyone else. So your final decision is to leave SNSD."

"Yes, I don't see any other solution, I am having my baby and I don't want to drag the girls into the mess this will bring" Seohyun took a deep breath "I am leaving Korea as soon as possible."

"What are you plans?"

"I just applied to several Universities in the US to major in international law as my father did before me… I think it is better to leave Korea, I doubt the press will follow me to the US if I decided to leave the group to study abroad"

"It will be a good excuse, but what about the baby?" said Mr. Lee while crossing his arms over his chest.

"I am keeping the baby with me" said Seohyun with confidence. It will be hard yes, but she was confident in herself, she have spend the last few days reading every baby book available, she was preparing herself little by little.

"Are you sure you can handle that on your own Seohyun?" For the first time she watched some kind of concern in Mr. Lee is eyes "A baby is a big responsibility and doing it alone and in another country you are not familiar is not going to be easy"

"I know that, but I want to do what is best for the group, I don't want to bring down SNSD is image because of this issue… I am taking responsibility for my actions, the scandal could destroy my unnies is dream and I will not let that happen… never" said Seohyun seriously to Mr. Lee.

"Ok, if that is your final decision…. You know the father can be an issue?"

"It will not be" said Seohyun looking down to her lap, she couldn't bring herself to look at him, what she was doing was an awful thing, but she thought it was for the best.

"Have you come to an agreement?"

"No… He will never know" was her simple answer.

"I will not intervene in your decision, but as a married man with children I know what it means to be a father, and I can't conceive the idea of not knowing about the existence of my child… You should be careful with what you decide Seohyun, This baby is not yours alone…"

She keep quiet after that, she didn't have anything more to add. She didn't want to involve Yonghwa too in the mess… She has done him enough harm… His music was his breath and soul, she can't kill his dream by bringing this scandal over his head… aside the fact that she didn't want to think what her crazy fan will do, If he knew she was pregnant with Yonghwa is child… His child, their child… A part of her was happy beyond reason with the knowledge that she was carrying inside of her the fruit of their love… Yes, because she loved him beyond reason and she knew he felt the same way too… If only things have been different.

"Ok, I will make arrangement for an official statement in the next few weeks; we are going to keep your pregnancy a secret."

"Thank you Mr. Lee, I will talk with the girls." She stood up from her seat and made a little bow to him.

Before she went out he told her. "Seohyun you are a strong woman and I have watched grow inside through the years, if I know someone who is able to manage this in her own is you… If you need something just tell me… Good Luck."

She smiled to him and made another bow before exiting the room. Now the difficult part her unnies.

* * *

**A month later**

The talk with her unnies was a total madness, it have been crazy and they have been mad at her for days some even weeks, they couldn't agree with her idea of quitting the group but after sometime they did understand Seohyun is reason…

Today have been a tiring day, her morning sickness was at its worse and they just ended the press conference in which it was announced the retirement of Seohyun from SNSD. The press conference was hell, but her unnies were beside her the whole time… If she has though that her unnies is reaction was bad enough the reaction from the press and Soshi fans was even worse… She stated that she was accepted in a university in the US and was fulfilling her father is dream to keep the family business, by studying a major in law. She didn't say where or when she was going, that information was kept in a very strong hold, just her unnies and Mr. Lee knew that she was going to study in Boston and was leaving in less than a week.

Luckily her two month old pregnancy wasn't showing yet, but she has been careful to never use fitting clothes, her unnies has adopted the same style to avoid any kind of rumor… They girls were a great support during these times.

The first time she have to visit her doctor, all of them wanted to go, but she reasoned with them that it will create suspicion so in the end they played rock, paper, scissor and Tiffany was the ultimate winner.

It was night already and right now, they were helping with her pack her things. Jessica managed to contact one of her friends that moved to Boston and they manage to rent an apartment for Seohyun near to her University… Living in the campus could be a problem so she decided to stay outside… Luckily she has made enough money during her days with SNSD to support herself aside from her parents is life insurance and the income she will receive from her share in her father is company, right now her father is partner was in charge but she wished some day she can become an active part of the grow of her father is law firm.

She was busy sorting things, what will go to her parents is house and what was going to her place in Boston… She was taking some garbage out of her room, when she hear her unnies talking in a low voice, some of them were watching something in the TV.

"Hyoyeon do you want to die on the hands of Jessica, you know anything related with CNBLUE is forbidden in this house" Said a worried Sunny.

"I know but I promised Jungshin to see their live show, if not he will kill me" said Hyoyeon while turning the volume up a little bit more. Seohyun smiled a little, Hyoyeon and Jungshin were in some kind of relationship not defined yet, but they can tell the feelings were there… To think how much Hyoyeon must be restraining herself and avoiding some topics with Jungshin made her feel bad for her friend. She wanted to be in the US as soon as possible and avoid more trouble for her unnies.

Now that the volume was a little more up, Seohyun could listen to what they were saying in the television, the interview was about regular stuff, next album, drama projects, solo activities, until something caught everyone is attention…

"Yonghwa we have hear you are working in a new song that is better than anything you had made before." Said the interviewer cheekily "A song with a lot of meaning, that have your producers praising your great talent to everyone."

"I don't know about it, I just try to do my best with each new song" Yonghwa smiled through the TV politely. "About your question yes I have been working in a new song for our next album. It was a last minute addition, but we hope everyone will like it"

"Can you please sing a little bit of the song for us" said the interviewer excitedly. The people in the audience began to clap and cheer so Yonghwa agreed to perform.

The lights were turned down and Yonghwa grabbed his guitar and sat himself in front of the microphone… His brothers stepped to the side. Just a single light illuminated the spot where Yonghwa was sitting.

"This song was made in the last few weeks, it marks the end of a difficult time in my life and I hope you all like it." The first strokes of his guitar began to play and silence reigned in the Soshi dorm… Seohyun had a bad feeling about this.

_Author's Note__: Beautiful song, please read the lyrics. It is important for the story. This song is from an Italian singer Gianluca Girgnani and is sing in Spanish by Franco De Vita "Mi Historia entre tus Manos" Title: My story between your hands. _

**_I think, they were not so useless… the nights that I gave you. _**

**_You leave and what?, I don't try to argue it, You know and I know._**

**_At least stay only tonight I promise not to touch you, you are save, _**

**_maybe it's that I'm feeling lonely, because I know that smile, so final, _**

**_your smile that to myself, opened your paradise.  
_**

**_It is said that, for every man there is one like you _**

**_but my place, then, will be occupied with some else like me, better, I doubt it._**

**_Why this time you look down, Ask me, that we remain friends? _**

**_Friends… for what?, dammit I forgive a friend, but I love you, _**

**_my natural instincts may seem trivial, but… _**

Seohyun couldn't hold her tears, watching Yonghwa through the television was breaking her heart he looked so devastated and was singing the song with so much feeling… How he could think she will replace him, never for the rest of her life another man could fill his place… never. Yes, she have asked to be friends and she knows it was not possible just as his song said… the things between them, the feelings were to much to just put them aside and begin a new page, it was never going to be possible between them…

**_There is one thing I haven't told you yet, _**

**_my problems, you know what? Are called "you" _**

**_That is the only reason, you see me playing hard to feel a little safer._**

**_And if you do not even want to say how I failed, _**

**_Remember that I also have forgiven you ,_**

**_and instead you say "sorry, I don't love you" a_**

**_and you're going with this story between your fingers. _**

He wasn't looking at the camera but by his posture she could tell he have having problems containing his emotions, the raw feeling in his voice was too much to handle, her heart hurt… it hurt a lot, for him for her… It was too much. There was no doubt in her mind of whom he was thinking when writing that song; it described their story together to the last bit…

**_What are you going to do?, _**

**_Look for an excuse and then leave _**

**_because about me, _****_you shouldn't worry you shouldn't provoke me._**

**_I'll write you a few songs trying to hide my emotions thinking, but little in the words, _**

**_and will talk about that smile... so final _**

**_your smile that to myself, opened your paradise. _**

She did worry about him and that is why she was leaving… To avoid him any harm, any trouble with her pregnancy… She was doing this for him, but he will never know, he could never know, she was going to be strong for him, for herself and for their baby… She was going to survive this. The camera moved to the public, the people there were crying his feeling were a palpable thing even through the screen… She could see her unnies tearing up too… All this mess was just sad.

**_There is one thing I haven't told you yet, _**

**_my problems, you know what? Are called "you" _**

**_That is the only reason, you see me playing hard to feel a little safer._**

**_And if you don't even want to say how I failed, _**

**_Remember that I also have forgiven you, and instead you say "sorry, I don't love you" _**

**_and you're going with this story between your fingers._**

**_naaaaaaaa na na na_** **_naaaaaaaa na na na_**

After the song ended, Yonghwa stayed motionless with his eyes closed and his face directed to the floor, she could tell he was trying to gain some kind of composure but he was not able, because when he opened his eyes and looked to the camera his eyes were full of unshed tears… She dropped the garbage bags to the floor; her unnies hear the noise and turned in her direction… Hyoyeon turned off the TV and the silence in the room was defining until Seohyun began to cry in earnest. Her unnies approached her and they shared a group hug, all sharing her pain.

"Hyunie please don't go without telling him about your baby" said Hyoyeon quietly while hugging her friend. Seohyun just shook her head… "Seohyun I didn't want to tell you this, but Jungshin… Jungshin told me that Yonghwa was called for duty, he is enlisting right after they finish the promotions of their next album"

Seohyun felt a bucket of cold water was thrown over her. Her lungs were squeezed and her world was spinning too fast… "I… I didn't know" She managed to say while trying to wipe clean the new wave of tears.

"Now you do" Said Hyoyeon trying to bring sense into the head of her friend. "You need to tell him, he has a right to know about the baby"

"No" was the only thing Seohyun said after stepping out of her friend is hug.

"But Seohyun a war can explode in any moment he could be kill…" Tried again Hyoyeon but was cut by Seohyun.

"I said no. He will never know. He can't know… And that is my final decision" Seohyun turned around leaving her unnies stunned in their place, Seohyun have never talked to them in that way before, she was so cold, so distant, as if she just stepped out of her body and someone else was in her place. A cold unfeeling thing they didn't know.

"I am worried about her" said Yoona when they hear her door closing. "This can't be good for her and the baby; she can't keep all that bottle up inside her."

"Me too" said Sunny trying to figure out what to do.

"It is her decision, we can't say or do anything if she has already decided to keep quiet about the baby" said Sooyoung calmly. "The only thing we can do is support her during this time"

"She looks strong but she is going to breakdown in any moment, we need to be prepared" said Yuri with a lot of concern in her voice.

"Ahhhh!" said an exasperated Hyoyeon to no one in particular "Seo Joo Hyun why you have to be so stubborn!"

Just like that they decided to let her be… Just time will tell what their fate was going to be… A great journey was in front of them, different paths with a lot of struggles, the only thing their friends could wish for, is that maybe sometime in some distant day, their paths will reunite them and maybe… just maybe after all the wounds are healed…. They could think about a new beginning… Hope is the last thing you lose. And stupid crazy fans be dammed!

**Author's Note**: Sorry for the long wait… I have to finish a project for work and have to prepare for an important meeting… the last three weeks have been crazy… Sorry for the delay. I am free now! Yey!

OMGEEE! Next chapter, the baby is coming… Yeyyy! I love YongSeo babies in my head they are so cute in every fic! Kekekeke I can't decide for a name for a baby girl… suggestion are welcome, I don't know girls name in Korean and the only name I have think about is in Japanese, not fitting for this fic at all. I was thinking about SH is mother is name, but I don't know it either! Help! You will be properly credited for the name. :)

About the song, I totally love love love that song is one of my favorites of all time and you must be thinking why so many songs in my fics… It is because I love how YH always say he express himself better with songs… thinking about it I find fitting to use some song to match the emotional stage he is in, in that moment in time inside my fic… to tell the truth some parts of this fic were made to match this song…. The feelings of the author, how he express himself is the greatest… As you can see I love that song!

Well, by good luck to all, thanks for commenting, sorry for not answering… I will try my hardest to update tomorrow to compensate the lack of update the last to weekends… BYE! Please dont kill me! I know is sad, someday it will be happy for sure!


	5. Chapter 5

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Last Episode…**

_"__Ahhhh!" said an exasperated Hyoyeon to no one in particular "Seo Joo Hyun why you have to be so stubborn!"_

_Just like that they decided to let her be… Just time will tell what their fate was going to be… A great journey was in front of them, different paths with a lot of struggles, the only thing their friends could wish for, is that maybe sometime in some distant day, their paths will reunite them and maybe… just maybe after all the wounds are healed…. They could think about a new beginning… Hope is the last thing you lose. And stupid crazy fans be dammed!_

**Chapter – 5**

**_Seven Months Later_**

_Ding Dong! Ding Dong!_

_Ding Dong! Ding Dong!_

Seohyun could listen to the door is insistent ringing and it was driving her crazy, she was trying to stand up from bed, but with her too big belly it was always a difficult and tiring task. It has been seven months since she left Korea and life hasn't been easy, but she has been able to adapt to her new environment. Boston was a beautiful city, her little flat was in a nice part of town and even with her busy schedule, the classes have been all right.

Getting there and begin a new routine have made her a lot of good, tied to the joy she receive with her pregnancy… Every day was a new discovery, the first time the baby moved she started crying, in the middle of the library, just from the joy of knowing that her baby was in there.

She have been preparing a lot, reading every book available in the matter, taking her supplements religiously and going to her appointments on time, thanks to God the two of them were healthy and she couldn't wait to have her baby girl in her arms…Yes! She was having a girl and she couldn't be happier, secretly she was really wishing to have a girl… Just yesterday she finished decorating her room and arranged all her clothes… all pink. Her baby girl will be a Soshi fan to heart. She knew she was going crazy and over the edge with all the pink but she was too happy.

Next semester she was going to be absent from classes she have decided to spend the next months focused in her motherly responsibilities… Her doctor has told her that any moment now her baby will be here and she was just too happy for words… She couldn't wait to see her, to have her baby girl in her arms, to see if she looked like her… or if she looked like her dad.

Yonghwa… She was too much of a coward to confront him… The farthest she has gone to tell him the truth was through a letter she sent to his company. She couldn't face him but she had to let him know… She hasn't heard a word from him, she didn't even know if he received the letter, but was too much afraid to face the answer after she contacts him… Maybe he read it and didn't want to know anything about her, maybe it never reached his hands… to many possibilities but her own insecurities were standing in the way of her rational brain…

_Ding Dong! Ding Dong!_

_Ding Dong! Ding Dong!_

"I am coming" said a tired Seohyun as she dragged herself to the door. The last few days the baby was moving a lot and her belly have become too heavy, it was as if all the weight have dropped to the bottom, making it hard for her to move around.

_Ding Dong! Ding Dong!_

_Ding Dong! Ding Dong!_

"Chongmal, I am coming" said Seohyun as she grabbed the handle and opened the door.

"SURPRISE!" was the scream that received her on the other side of the door, with the presence of her dear friends. Tiffany was the first one to jump on her and give her a tight hug… well as far as her belly let her.

"Girls! What are you doing here?" said a very surprised and happy Seohyun hugging her friends. Taeyeon was the second one, followed close by a very happy Jessica.

"The baby is close coming and you wouldn't think we will leave you alone, right?" said Jessica as she hugged her friend tightly.

Seohyun couldn't control her tears, blame it on the hormones. But she was so glad her friends have come all the way from Korea to Boston, to be with her… Deep down she was worried, a lot of things could happen in childbirth (she has read it) and she was very glad her friends have come to be with her during these uncertain times.

"I… I… Thank you" Was the only thing Seohyun was able to say between her tears. "But please come in" said Seohyun as she stepped aside to let them enter her little flat.

"All right, please bring the boxes in sir" said Taeyeon to someone in the hallway. Boxes and Boxes and more Boxes were pilling in her little living room and dining room.

"What is this?" said Seohyun perplexed by so many things.

"It is our present for you and the baby" said Tiffany as the last box was put down on the kitchen counter. "Attending a baby is not easy so we have bought her clothes to wear until she is one year old, you don't have to worry about that."

"You shouldn't have bothered" said Seohyun while wiping her tears. "Thank you" She was really touched by her friends is appearance and their concern about her and her baby.

Jessica tipped the man that helped with the boxes and closed the door, she approached the living room and after moving a few boxes to the corner she made enough space for Seohyun to sit down. "Of course we will do this, you know us" She smiled to her little sister and told her "By the way, the last photo you send us don't made you justice, you look sooo beautiful Hyunie… Pregnancy really sits well on you, you are glowing!"

"That is true" said Taeyeon as she made space for herself in the sofa next to Seohyun and grabbed her hand "The girls were really upset because they couldn't come. But someone had to stay back, to create some distraction."

"Distraction?" said Seohyun confused watching her three sisters grinning like fools. "For what?"

"Well, Seohyun you wouldn't think our travel to America wouldn't create some kind of disturbance, right?" said Tiffany sitting in the arm of the chair next to Seohyun. "So we made "The Plan". Yuri, Sunny, Hyoyeon, Sooyoung and Yoona have green light to create as much scandals as they want."

"It is like a dream come true, Mr. Lee gave us green light to play havoc in the K-Entertainment." Said Jessica sitting in the sofa opposing her "We told him we wanted to be with you during these months so he said yes and we created "The Plan", luckily Yoona receive an offer for lead actress in a drama and was the perfect excuse to halt our performances, so for four months our group activities are on halt."

"It is just perfect; today the newspaper must be full of pictures of Hyoyeon dancing in a club with Jungshin" said Taeyeon smiling "You know how they are, but "are not" together"

"Now that we can date without holding back, to create as much "scandals" as possible, we will sure have a lot of fun" Said Tiffany smiling at her friends.

Seohyun couldn't help but laugh at her friends, it was time they receive the freedom they wanted, glad her situation have helped in something, maybe this time Sooyoung could really find the love of her live and Yuri could date that guy from the production team that she likes so much… Or Sunny could reveal that her boyfriend is a famous actor. And she was happy for Yoona too, she knows her friend love to act, so this was a great opportunity for her, in the past she have to reject a lot of projects because it clashed with their schedules. She was really happy for her friends.

"So tell me, how are things in Korea!" said a smiling Seohyun.

The rest of the day was spend in catching up with her friends, they laughed to their heart is content, ordered a lot of food and made a super pajama party at the end of the day to celebrate their reunion.

It was midnight when Seohyun felt she needed to rest, she have been feeling a little uncomfortable, and a few hours ago her back began to hurt a lot… she was thinking it was for the excitement of the day… they spend a lot of hours, looking at the cute outfits in the boxes and ordering them in the baby is room, it was exhausting but fulfilling at the same time.

And now, she really wanted to get to her bed. Tiffany was helping her to get up, when she heard Jessica is little scream. She looked at her friend in confusion and looked were she was pointing. The sofa where she was sitting was all wet… Seohyun run a hand behind her over her pajama and she was all wet… She opened her eyes like saucers and a defining silence filled the room, the only thing she could said was "I think it is time"

All hell broke loose in that moment. Luckily she has planned things ahead and her friends knew what to do… Taeyeon grabbed the phone and called her doctor, Jessica ran to the room to get the emergency bag and the car keys. Tiffany helped her to change clothes. She began to count the contractions and they were 10 minutes apart from each other, the back pain she was feeling was the contractions but now that she knew the cause it was as if the pain has become sharper, until the last contraction made her gasp and double over from the pain.

Jessica was in charge of driving… "_Thank God for GPS" _was the only thing Jessica kept repeating as she followed the instructions to get to the hospital.

Tiffany and Taeyeon were grabbing each other one of her hands in the back seat. She was sweating and the contractions were getting closer, she was probably one of the rare cases of accelerated labor, she has read about it.

She looked at her friends and they looked worried and a total mess, she will laugh at their expressions and their looks, oversized pajamas and skin care cream much, if not for the pain she was in.

Luckily her doctor was already in the hospital when they arrived, after the check, the doctor send her immediately to the labor room …

She was so afraid, she felt so alone, the panic was beginning to eat her from the inside, until this moment she haven't realized the magnitude of the events that were happening, she was minutes away from meeting the most important person in her life… a little someone that will depend only from her for the next years… It was such a big event, it was an event to be shared with your special someone, but here she was, all alone in a hospital room watching time pass, just waiting.

Her heart was running a thousand per hour and her hands were shaking, grasping the bed linens to try to control herself, to try to control the pain… she was too close to delivery they couldn't sedate her… She thought her teeth will break from the effort to contain the scream that was threatening to leave her in any moment. The nurse was talking to her but she couldn't hear her, blood was rushing to her hears making it impossible to concentrate on what they were telling her.

Her friends were left out of the labor room, but after much insistence Tiffany have convinced the doctor to let her in… She was so glad to see Tiffany enter the room all dressed like a doctor. Tiffany grasped her hand and told her "Let it go Hyunie, just let it go"

The next contraction was so painful, she thought her back was splitting in two, she felt the need to push but she could hear the nurse telling her not to push yet… Tiffany grabbed her hand with a lot of force, been there for her friend during those difficult moments. She couldn't control anymore she hear herself scream in pain. Tears were running on her cheeks and she could feel Tiffany drying the sweat from her forehead.

"I can't do this" was the only thing Seohyun manage to say after the pain subsided.

Tiffany grabbed her face and made her look at her "Yes you can, you have come so far Hyunie this is the last step. You are a strong woman and we have faith in you, if someone can do this is you"

Seohyun could see Tiffany was white as a sheet of paper but was giving her best face to the situation; her encouraging words were so full of hope... Another sharp pain attacked her and after it passed she told her "Thank you Tiffany for been here… I know I can do this, thanks for believing in me."

Tiffany couldn't answer back because she was distracted by the doctor. "Well Seohyun it is time, during the next contraction you are going to push as much as you can. Like you practiced during your labor classes, remember to breath."

During the next contraction she pushed with all her might, the pain was blinding, the only thing she could hear was Tiffany telling her to breath and the doctor counting. Her back was splitting in two, but they repeated the sequence three more times until after the pain the only thing she could hear in the room was a baby crying… She looked down and the doctor was holding a little baby in his arms, a big smile planted on her face and she extended her hands to receive the baby, her felt her heart was going to explode in any moment. The doctor put the baby over her chest and she couldn't control it anymore she was so happy, the crying baby was all red and covered in blood, but it was the most beautiful thing she has ever seen in her life. Her baby girl was finally here.

Happy tears were running down her face and when she looked at Tiffany her friend was crying too. The doctor hold up the scissors to Tiffany and after a brief nod from Seohyun Tiffany cut the cord.

"Welcome to the world my princess" said Seohyun to her baby as she planted a careful kiss on her forehead. "Eun Mi... Seo Eun Mi, welcome to the world my beautiful daughter."

"I am going to tell the girls that everything is fine" said Tiffany as she ran out of the room, she couldn't contain her happiness, she was almost jumping around.

From inside the room, she could hear her friends squealing in the hallway. She smiled looking at her baby "You know, you have a bunch of crazy aunts, you will learn to handle them so don't worry about that." She kissed her baby is forehead again before the nurse took her away to clean her. After just a few moments the baby was back in her arms, the nurse was giving her instructions on how to feed her, the experience was something out of this world, and even if she wanted to explain the feeling of feeding her baby for the first time, she couldn't find the words in her.

She loved this little thing in her arms so much that she was afraid of herself, for herself, what is something happened to her, who will take care of her baby… In that moment when her mind was in turmoil her friends came into the room, she was so glad to see them, because she knew if anything happened to her they will be there for her daughter.

"OMG she is so beautiful" squealed Jessica as she saw the baby in Seohyun is arms.

"Hyunie you are a mom" said Taeyeon wiping some tears from her face. "I am so happy for you"

"We have to tell the rest of the girls. I will make the call" said Tiffany moving out of the room.

"Hyunie how are you feeling?" asked Jessica as she stroked Seohyun is hair.

"Never better, unnie. Never better" She was feeling a little of pain and tired after all the effort, but never have she ever feel so full of energy like this moment. She just needed to look at her daughter and she could feel the pieces falling into place. She smiled reassuringly at her unnies and said "Things are going to be ok, I am sure of that. I can feel it. Thanks for been here with me." Yes, she could feel it, everything was going to be fine, and the two of them will be just fine on their own… They didn't need anyone else. She looked at her daughter and smiled again "I love you so much, Eun Mi. I promise to be a good mother for you…" She kissed her forehead again as she watched her little baby falling asleep in her arms… yes they were going to be fine.

* * *

**_That day, some place in Seoul_**

"Hyoyeon, please try to control yourself. I have to beg a lot to get permission from Yonghwa to invite you and the rest, to his goodbye celebration" said a tired Jungshin as his Noona dragged him to the restaurant, followed closely by her friends… Jungshin couldn't believe she has brought the whole bunch, well the other four that were still in Korea. The last he knew Taeyeon, Tiffany and Jessica were visiting family and friends in USA. "Noona are you listening to me"

"You worry too much Jungshin. I won't say a thing" said Hyoyeon dismissing Jungshin is concern.

"You don't understand, the last time she was mentioned in his presence he went berserker… Manager Hyung brought a letter from her addressed to him and he just lost control… He didn't want anything to do with her and asked the Manager Hyung to destroy it. After that he was in a bad mood for a whole month… We wouldn't survive something like that again."

Hyoyeon stopped in her tracks after what Jungshin told her "She sent him a letter?"

"You didn't know? It was delivered the day she went to Boston. Hyung was so depressed that the letter made him lose it… He didn't want anything to remember him of her so he asked for the letter to be destroyed."

She didn't know how to take the news; it was a real surprise to know she has tried to contact him. Very interesting…

She was dragged out of her thoughts when she felt Jungshin pulling on her hand. "Let's go, we are going to be late" said Jungshin as they entered the place. They were directed to a private room and were greeted by the rest of CNBLUE and a few of the members from FT Island.

When they were sitting, an uncomfortable silence filled the room until it was broken by Hongki and one of his crazy jokes. Drinks were shared and food was ordered, everything was going smoothly, until Sunny dragged Hyoyeon to one side "I received a call from Tiffany but I couldn't answer on time and now I can't contact her… Call her, maybe something happened"

Hyoyeon took out her phone and called Tiffany is number "Where are you? Something happened?" Asked a very worried Hyoyeon, it will be like three in the morning in Boston and for them to call at that hour it must be something important. "WHAT?" Silence filled the room after Hyoyeon is outburst, they could see tears gathering in her eyes and her friends rushed to her side.

Sooyoung grabbed the phone from her hand and talked to the phone "Hello, this is Sooyoung… WHAT? OMG OMG OMG!" she took the phone from her ear and looked at the rest of the Soshi girls "We are the proud aunts of a beautiful baby girl called Eun Mi!"

The squeals that filled the room were ear splitting, earth shaking hoots of joy… The girls were between crying and jumping in joy. In between the squeals Yuri grabbed the phone at told Tiffany "Send us a picture; we want to see her… Ok, will talk with you later. Call if anything happens."

They keep jumping and squealing until the food arrived and they remembered they were in a room full of people, in a "good bye party" for the father of the baby. Hyoyeon have to control every impulse in her to just spill the truth and it became unbearable when she received the baby is photo, she looked so cute sleeping in her pink blanket, the baby looked a lot like Seohyun. "Eun Mi is sooo beautiful" she told out loud as she passed the phone to Sooyoung and Yuri that were beside her. Then Sunny and Yoona grabbed the phone and squealed in their seats. "I am so glad everything went alright" said Hyoyeon as she grabbed her phone. "Look see how beautiful she is" said Hyoyeon as she pushed the phone in Jungshin is hand. "Pass it around" she could feel Sooyoung pinching her under the table, but she kept her cool.

The boys in the table, were giving the regulars uhhhs and ahhhs when talking about a baby, until Hongki asked after passing the phone to Yonghwa "So who is the proud mother?"

Hyoyeon was this close to spill it, but Sooyoung was faster and put a hand on her mouth while telling the group in general… "She is the daughter of a cousin of… Tiffany… Yes, Tiffany, we are very close to her, so she is like one of us… and that is why we say we are the proud aunts of her baby."

Sunny entered the conversation fast and added "Yes, that is. Tiffany went to the US to be with her cousin during this time, we are glad everything went fine."

The discussion began to flow again while Yuri and Yoona dragged the conversation to other topics, but Hyoyeon couldn't take her eyes from Yonghwa. He was looking with so much intensity the photo in her cell, she made a mental note to send him the photo later, if she could get hold of his number, she will make Jungshin spill it out. "She is pretty, right?" said Hyoyeon low so just Yonghwa could hear her.

"Yes, she is" said Yonghwa as he looked up and handed the phone to Hyoyeon. "What is her name again?"

"Eun Mi, her mother has always liked that name." Hyoyeon knew that Seohyun was always bragging about having a daughter named Eun Mi like her grandmother. Yonghwa must know about that story, the problem was that Eun Mi was pretty common in Korea.

"Eun Mi" repeated Yonghwa more to himself than to the rest. "Send my congratulations to Tiffany and the mother of the baby".

A knot in her throat cut her ability to speak, she wanted to tell him so badly, but it was not her place. So to avoid a tragedy she just nodded to Yonghwa and said with much control "I will Yonghwa; I will send them your best wishes, they will be glad to receive them".

**Author´s note**: This is like so depressing… I knew I was going to make this dramatic, but I want to smack some sense into someone… luckily next chapter is the beginning of the reunion.

Will try to update soon, since I don't know if I will be able to update next weekend. Comments are appreciated.

Glad you liked the fic and keep hanging in there. And I am glad people liked the introduction of songs in Spanish…. Yeyyyy! Those are some of my favorite songs… so much meaning in those lyrics.

Oh well, stay happy my fellow gogumas, I am still spazzing over the YongSeo duet… Every time I watch it I can't stop grinning to myself! XD


	6. Chapter 6

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Last Episode…**

_The discussion began to flow again while Yuri and Yoona dragged the conversation to other topics, but Hyoyeon couldn't take her eyes from Yonghwa. He was looking with so much intensity the photo in her cell, she made a mental note to send him the photo later, if she could get hold of his number, she will make Jungshin spill it out. "She is pretty, right?" said Hyoyeon low so just Yonghwa could hear her._

_"Yes, she is" said Yonghwa as he looked up and handed the phone to Hyoyeon. "What is her name again?"_

_"Eun Mi, her mother has always liked that name." Hyoyeon knew that Seohyun was always bragging about having a daughter named Eun Mi like her grandmother. Yonghwa must know about that story, the problem was that Eun Mi was pretty common in Korea._

_"Eun Mi" repeated Yonghwa more to himself than to the rest. "Send my congratulations to Tiffany and the mother of the baby"._

_A knot in her throat cut her ability to speak, she wanted to tell him so badly, but it was not her place. So to avoid a tragedy she just nodded to Yonghwa and said with much control "I will Yonghwa; I will send them your best wishes, they will be glad to receive them"._

**Chapter – 6**

**_4 years later…_**

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Eun Mi, Happy Birthday to you" the Soshi girls were singing through the computer screen, this was the first year they couldn't make it for the birthday of their niece. Years before they were able to sneak and disappear for a few days, but this time they were not able to do it successfully.

But that didn't stop them; good thing technology was so advanced. They were having a photo shoot in Japan for a new endorsement and were using Skype to greet their little niece.

"Eun Mi, Do you liked our present?" asked a very happy Tiffany through the screen.

"Yes, Imo" was the answer of the little girl, as proper as her mother. "He is very pretty" said the girl as a big smile illuminated her face. She was the exact replica of her mother, she hadn't lost a single bit of Seohyun is features, big shinny eyes, long straight hair and cheeks that were super pinching material… She was so cute!

"Yes, he is very pretty" said Seohyun while carrying her daughter in her lap "But the mother would have been more grateful, if your aunts have asked before sending you a puppy"

"Hyunie, where is the fun in that?" said Hyoyeon sneakily "We know you were going to say no, so to avoid an endless discussion about how a puppy was not a right present for a 4 year old girl, we decided to send it anyway."

"Very funny, Unnie" said Seohyun while smiling at her friends, they will never change. "But you are not the one that is now handling two hyperactive children. He has been here just for 3 hours and I have already lost two sandals."

"Don't worry he will grow out of it" said Sunny sending kisses through the screen to her niece. "But we want to see it"

"You bought him, without looking at him" asked a worried Seohyun.

"We were told that he is very well behaved" said Sunny.

The only thing Seohyun could do was shock her head "I don't like the sound of that... Darling go look for the puppy… So your aunts can look at what they didn't know they bought for you…" the last was said with a lot of reproach directed to her unnies.

"Seohyun don't be mad!" said Hyoyeon "You are going to love him"

"I can't do anything now, I can't take away Eun Mi is present from her aunts" Seohyun looked around to see what her daughter was doing, Eun Mi was busy trying to get the dog from under her bed, so she had time to make her announcement to the girls "I have something to tell you"

"You are pregnant again!" was the first thing Sooyoung said out of the blue.

Everyone was laughing, she was not. "Unless I am the next miracle, there is no way I am pregnant"

"Hyunie we have told you, you have to date!" said Yuri "What happened with that cute man from next door?"

"I really don't have time for that; I have to take care of Eun Mi" said Seohyun seriously to her unnies, she hated it when they began with the dating topic.

"Yes, you have, but you have to think in yourself too" Said Yoona with a lot of concern.

Seohyun sighed; she needed to get them into topic. "Well, this conversation is getting us nowhere, what I wanted to tell you, is that I have decided to go back to Korea."

Silence greeted her and then squeals so loud she was very tempted to close the call. All were trying to talk at the same time; she couldn't understand their questions until Taeyeon bring order again and told her "Why? and When?"

"I think it is time to go back and face some issues that were left unsolved" They all knew what the unsolved issue was and were glad. "The sustentation for my second master is next month, so I have begun arrangement to go back to Korea after that."

"Hyunie I am so happy" said Tiffany while smiling fondly at her friend. "I will hug you right now if I could, we really miss you"

"I miss you to unnies" said Seohyun smiling to her friends. In that moment her daughter came back carrying a little ball of black fur… To tell the truth the dog was indeed very cute.

Seohyun sat her daughter in her lap again and helped her to show the dog to her unnies… Another round of squeals jumped from the speakers. Seohyun just rolled her eyes and let the squealing attack to continue.

After they closed the call, Seohyun accompany Eun Mi to the park to walk the puppy, it didn't have a name yet, Eun Mi was in charge of naming him, so she let her daughter take her time. Eun Mi and her puppy were having fun in the park just running around… She loved to see her daughter running carefree and rolling with her puppy. They returned home after dark, after enjoying a very good dinner in Eun Mi is favorite place; Eun Mi was exhausted so after a quick shower she put down her daughter in bed.

"Omma"

"Yes" said Seohyun while collecting some clothes from the floor.

"Are we really going to Korea?"

Seohyun looked at her daughter, for her age she was so bright, her teacher always sent praises for how bright and advanced she was on classes… Too bright indeed. She was proud of her daughter, but… "So you were listening to my conversation with your aunts" Eun Mi nodded "You know what I think about eavesdropping… but yes, to answer your question, we are going to Korea"

Eun Mi sat excitedly on her bed "So I can see my Imos everyday"

"Yes, you will be able to see your Imos everyday" said Seohyun as she sat in the bed beside her daughter. "But right now little miss is time to sleep, so under the covers".

"Omma can you sing for me" said Eun Mi as she settle herself in the bed. "That song from your friend, the one I like very much, please!"

"The one I sang to you when you are sick" asked Seohyun as she finished folding the clothes she just recovered from the floor. Eun Mi nodded enthusiastically, she really liked that song, it makes her feel better every time she listened to it. "If only I could remember how it began… uhmmm" said Seohyun teasing her daughter.

"Omma, please" begged Eun Mi to her mother.

"Ok, ok, let me see" said Seohyun as she settles beside her daughter in bed.

**_geuh del bo myun ul gool ee bbal geh jigo_**  
**_geuh del bo myun ga seum ee doogeun doogeun_**  
**_ah ee chuh lum soo joob geh mal hago_**  
**_geuh del bo myun gwen siri oo seum ee na_**  
**_babo chuh rum ja ggoo man geuh leh_**  
**_ama neh geh sarang ee on gut gatah_**

Her daughter loved the rap part, so to make her smile she always makes the mimics as a hip hop star.

**_geuh deh neun neh ma eum sok eh president_**  
**_neh ga seum eh byul soo noh ji_**  
**_i'm genie for you girl_**  
**_neh soom eul mut geh haji_**  
**_geuh deh ga won ha neun gun da_**  
**_nuh reul sarang ha ni gga_**  
**_neh sarang eh ee yoo neun ub jan ah you know_**

Eun Mi couldn't stop smiling at her mother is silliness and began to sing with her the rest of the song.

**_geuh deh neun darling_**  
**_bam ha neuk byul bit boda ah reum da wuh yo_**  
**_neh mam sok gip peun got eh suh ban jjak guh li neun_**  
**_naman eh sarang beet_**

**_geuh del reul sarang heyo darling_**  
**_uhn jena neh gyut hae suh beet cheul neh joyo_**  
**_meh il bam bara bogo_**  
**_bara bwado ah reum dawuh yo_**  
**_geuh den nah eh sarang beet…_**

"You sing so well my princess… But now it is time to sleep" said Seohyun arranging her daughter is bed covers.

"Do you think daddy is going to like the message we made for him today" said Eun Mi while closing her eyes.

A knot formed in Seohyun is throat, she has never told her daughter who her father was, but she makes sure to make a video message to him in every special occasion. Since Eun Mi was born, she has been collecting tons of videos, maybe trying to deal with her guilt in some way, but after hearing the message of her daughter today, she decided it was time to let her cowardice and selfishness to the side… Her daughter deserved to know who her father was and not just to think that her mother listened to CNBLUE day and night because she was a good friend of the leader of the band.

She has converted her daughter in a little Boice, aside from been an official Sone. Always listening to their songs and dancing to them, just having fun. Her daughter loved to sing and dance just like her mother, she was so much like her in so many ways, but sometimes she could see the trades of her father in her mischievousness and happy-go-merry attitude to life.

She was content with the life they were living but her daughter is words will haunt her forever if she doesn't do something _"… In class we made a present for father is day, the teacher asked us to draw something that our dad likes but… I don't know what you like… so I draw a bunny for you, I hope you like it…"_ the look in her daughter is face while talking to the camera was so heartbreaking that she had to count to 20 to try to keep her emotions under control. She had to do something; she owned that much to her daughter and him too…

"He is going to love it…" said Seohyun as she caressed her daughter is hair, but Eun Mi was already fast sleep.

Seohyun stayed looking down at her daughter; indeed it was time to put things in order… She couldn't keep this secret to herself much longer, her daughter had the right to know who her father is and she was going to do everything in her power to make things right.

The time has come to stop running from reality…

* * *

**_3 months later_**

"Miss, what I am trying to say is that I have all his papers in order, he has all his vaccines, I even get him a passport for this trip, why are you going to keep him in quarantine" said a very upset Seohyun to the immigration officer.

She has been fighting with the stubborn lady for the last 20 minutes and it was driving her crazy. She has studied about the matter, and with the passport her dog didn't need to stay under custody… She couldn't allow it, her daughter is little dog was going to be put in a cell for the next month and a half and she couldn't let that happen. Her daughter will be heartbroken and if it was in her hands she will do whatever it takes to protect her from that kind of pain.

"Lady, as I told you, all dogs have to be keep in quarantine, it is not an option" said the lady on the other side of the counter, looking upset too.

Seohyun looked at the lady through narrowed eyes, this was coming to an end now "You know what, I am not talking to you anymore, I want to talk to your boss" The woman was trying to say something but Seohyun stopped her with her hand "I am not going out of here without my daughter is dog, so you better bring your boss here right now"

The lady on the other side of the counter just sighed and turned around disappearing through a door… After so many hours in the plane she was exhausted, they were exhausted and here she was fighting over a dog. Seohyun sighed and looked down when she felt the hand of her daughter grabbing her hand "Is **_Beet_** going to be fine" said Eun Mi a little worried, she have been hearing the discussion the whole time and the progress was close to none.

"Yes my darling, we are not going away without him" said Seohyun as she caressed her daughter is long hair. She could see her daughter was tired and sleepy, she just hoped they could get _Beet_ as soon as possible. "Just sit in the floor beside me, we will be out of here soon, your Imo is going to pick us in any moment."

By the way, that was another concern, the last time she have talked to Hyoyeon she told her she will pick them up… Her unnies were filming a CF in Thailand and were going to be back in Korea yesterday and it was weird she hadn't seen her already. She checked her phone and looked for signal, luckily she found one and found she had several text messages and one voice mail, she checked her voice mail first… It was Hyoyeon is voice in the other side of the line, but the message keep cutting itself in between words.

"Hyunnie… It is me Hyo… we are stranded in the is… there is a hurricane… and we have to wait until the storm is… we will try to be in Kor… as we can, but the filming was halted… we need to fini…. additional footage… Hyunnie I am so sor…. you have the code to enter the dorm… go there, will talk… as soon as possible…"

And with that the message was ended, she thought about her possibilities, not even crazy will she go to the Soshi dorm with her daughter, someone, anyone could recognize her and just thinking about the magnitude of that kind of scandal was giving her goose bumps… A hotel will be, for now… She needed to keep a low profile, but this problem with their dog was getting out of proportions.

Luckily the supervisor came and he was a lot nicer that the other lady… or maybe it was because Seohyun was giving him her one thousand watts smile, one or the other it did the trick, and she was right, with the passport the dog was able to enter Korea without a problem. They were getting her dog.

A huge smile planted in Seohyun is face, as she looked down to tell her daughter the good news… and that is when she realized… Her daughter was not there, just moments ago Eun Mi have been sitting beside her and now she was gone, a cold shiver ran down her back and a bad feeling settle in the pit of her stomach… She looked frantically around her but she couldn't see her, a deep panic began to settle in her "Eun Mi" she said out loud, maybe her daughter was close… No response, she was thinking a thousand possibilities and each one worse that the other, the panic was getting a hold on her she couldn't lose her daughter "Eun Mi!" she keep screaming as she run around the place but there was no response. Her worry was too much, her hands were shaking and her heart was running a thousand miles per hour. "EUN MI!" she screamed again but nothing… She need to stop and think what to do next.

The airport was a sea of people and she could be anywhere, she could have been taken by anyone… Tears were gathering in her eyes, she needed to keep herself calm, she ran back to the counter and asked for help, immediately all the security guards in the airport were told the description of Eun Mi and how she was dressed. The head of Security approached her and told her they were doing everything in their hands to find her… But that was not enough for any mother, not for Seohyun "Please find her" said Seohyun between tears as she waited beside the head of Security… _"Please God protect my daughter, send someone to help her… anyone… don't let anything bad happen to her"_

* * *

"Hi, doggy" said Eun Mi to the little dog she was playing with, she thought it was _Beet_, but for her surprise it was one that looked just like him. The old lady that owned him was good enough to let her play with it for a while. When the lady asked where her Omma was, she has signaled to the counter, were she could see her Omma using her phone.

"I am sorry my angel, but we need to go now" said the old lady as she smiled at her. "Go back to your Omma" And with that the lady turned around and moved away, she stayed in place for a while waving her goodbye to the doggy, then she remembered she had to go back to her Omma. She knew her Omma gets very upset when she goes on her own, but she was not too far…

The problem was that when she turned around her Omma was not there… She began to walk around but she couldn't see her… her little heart was feeling bad, it hurt a lot, she was scared. She was looking and looking for her Omma but she couldn't find her anywhere… She wanted to cry but she needed to remember her Omma is instructions in case of emergency _"… remember stay in one place and wait for an adult and ask for help… Whatever happens never doubt I will find you, whatever happens I will always be able to find you…"_ She looked around and there were a lot of people moving in all directions, so she decided to wait for her Omma in a less crowded place, hiding under the stairs… Her Omma always keep her promises and she was sure she will find her.

* * *

"Hyung stop been so moody, could you? We are on holiday, we are celebrating, this time is to party!" said a very happy Jungshin as he moved in line to check their bags in the airport. Indeed it was time for celebration he and Minhyuk just got out from their mandatory military service and CNBLUE hadn't expend a holiday together for the longest time, first was Yonghwa, then Jonghyun and then Minhuyk and him, this is the first time they were the four together for a trip and no one was going to ruin his mood.

"Shouldn't you be waiting for your girlfriend is call or something?" asked Jonghyun smiling as he carried his bag to the counter. "Or begging in your hands and knees for forgiveness?"

"Let's not talk about my Girlfriend, please" said Jungshin trying to get over the topic, he have had a big fight with Hyoyeon for his trip to Hawaii with his band mates, he has explained it was bonding time between friends, but she took it as an insult, because he preferred to be with his friends, after his release from his duties, than to be with her. If only she understood that he was worried about Yonghwa, the man was a total mess, jumping from one empty relationship to the next… It was pretty sad to see his Hyung like that and this last breakup was the worse and kind of… very public, She has made something like Seohyun and well his Hyung was really mad. Jungshin smiled reassuringly to his friends and said "Better yet, let's talk about Hyung is love live… Man I watched it in the news it was pretty bad, what number was she?... 10 or something?"

"I am not counting" said Yonghwa without looking up from his cell phone.

"I am" said Minhuyk when the last of their bags went through the counter "She was number 12 in two years, Hyung have been breaking hearts left and right. They don't go over the two months line, never…"

"It is not my fault that after I was released from the army, they keep throwing themselves to me without mercy" said Yonghwa walking beside his friends, still concentrated in his cell phone "At least I never give them any kind of hope, they knew what they were getting into… I just enjoy the ride"

"Woahh, you have become like other person Hyung" said Minhuyk as they walked up a set of stairs. "We are really worried about you; your last breakup was pretty messy"

Yonghwa sighed, he was tired about that issue "Let's not talk about that, I don't want to think about it, she is another name in the past" He looked down again and began to frantically type in his cell.

"What are you doing?" asked Jungshin standing beside him.

"I am setting a date with Jin Ri when we get back next week" said Yonghwa without looking up.

"You are what?" said Jungshin surprised "Oh no no no no noooo, this is bonding time between friends, my girlfriend is this close…" said Jungshin showing them the point of his nail "to breakup with me and you are setting a date… Not gonna happen" Jungshin grabbed Yonghwa is phone and put his hand in the air. "This is bonding time, so no setting up dates during this time."

Yonghwa looked up, too bad Jungshin didn't stop growing until he was 27, the phone was too high to embarrass himself jumping "I will count to three if you don't give it back you are death…" Jungshin just smiled, a smile that say _just try_ "1… 2…" before getting to 3 Yonghwa jumped, image be dammed… The bad thing was that Jungshin lost his balance and Yonghwa has to grab him before Jungshin stumble over the rail… they were standing in the second floor.

"Whoaa Hyung, thank you for saving my life" said Jungshin as he looked over the rail. "To bad your cell can't say the same thing"

Yonghwa just groaned and gave Jungshin his worst stare, Jungshin ran to hide behind Jonghyun. "I really don't want to see you right now… Guys go ahead I will catch up with you after I recover the pieces of my cell phone"

And without looking back, Yonghwa went down the stairs. He could hear his friends discussing between themselves as they moved to their gate… His friends… He knew they were concerned about him, but to tell the truth he was quite ok with his life, he knew he had issues, nobody has to tell him about that, but the thing was, he really didn't want to do anything to change his situation… so why worry about it…

He reached the first floor and began to collect the pieces of his cell phone. In that moment something under the stairs grabbed his attention… There was a little girl under the stairs, she had her head over her knees, she was hugging herself and by the way she was shaking he could tell she was crying.

He crouched in from of her and approached the little space a little and with a calming voice said "Hello there" there was no answer from the little girl "Can I help you? Are you lost?" The girl only nodded with her head without looking up "Well first of all I think we need to present each other… so why don't you come out, it must be cold" Yonghwa was waiting, for some strange reason his heart has began to beat fast, maybe it was because he was worried about the girl. "Come out, please. So we can start looking for your parents. They must be worried…"

Little by little the girl began to move out from under the stairs, when she was standing in front of him the first thing he noticed was her big sparkling brown eyes; he had looked at eyes like that before… They have been the death of him during that time… The second thing he noticed was her tear streaked face, the poor thing has been crying in silence for a lot of time from what her wet dress told him. The third he noticed was that she must love pink, because she was wearing a pink coat, with pink shoes and even a pink headband over her long straight brown hair, she looked really cute, she surely was the little princess of someone and they must be worried about her. He extended his hand and told her "I am Yonghwa"

"Eun Mi" said the girl politely making a bow to him.

He noticed she didn't grab his hand, but with the bow he knew she was well brought up by her family "So… Eun Mi, now that we are properly presented can you tell me what happened"

"I can't find my Omma" said the girl as her eyes began to fill with tears again.

The sight was heartbreaking… to see those big, full of life eyes lost their spark was something that made his heart ache. "I will help you to find her; she must be looking for you too" he stand up from his position and extended his hand to her "I will help you, do you trust me?" He could see the little girl hesitating; she was a bright girl and well trained too… He gave her his most warmest and sincere smile "We will look for the security guard, just hold my hand… I will never ever want to lose someone as pretty as you; your mother must be very worried... Just trust me"

And just like that, with a very little step she deposited all her trust in him, the moment he felt her little hand holding his an electric shock passed through him, and the warmest of feelings installed in his chest as he looked at the little girl smiling to him… She was smiling just a little bit, but it was the greatest smile he has ever seen, her sparkling eyes were telling him she trusted him… He will do everything in his power to help he find her mom.

* * *

"Mrs. Seo someone have found a little girl, that matched your daughter is description, in the west wing" said the head of security guards to a very pale and worried Seohyun, she have been walking from one side of the waiting room to the other without been able to stay in one place.

"Thank you God" was all Seohyun could say. She was so relieved. "Is she ok? What happened?"

"A man found her crying under a set of stairs, she doesn't want to leave his side, so we will go there, please follow me"

They exit the room together, her heart have been pounding so much during the last hour that she thought she was going to die from worry in any moment. But now her daughter was found. She was happy, but she couldn't find peace until she had her daughter between her arms, until she could hug her and kiss her and… just be with her.

They reached a section of the airport not far away from the last place she have seen her daughter, there were a lot of security guards but her eyes were focused in the little girl… her little girl… her daughter. "Eun Mi!" screamed Seohyun a very good distance away. Her daughter looked at her and the relief she felt in those seconds was something beyond comprehension...

Her daughter left the guards is side and began to run to her. "Omma!" was all Eun Mi was able to say as she could see tears began to run down her daughter is cheeks.

Seohyun dropped to her knees and waited with open arms for her daughter… She received her with a bear hug and began to kiss her hair, her cheeks, her ears, her nose, every place she could reach as her daughter cried in earnest in her arms. "I was so worried my love" said Seohyun as she caressed her daughter is hair "Don't do that to Omma again"

"Omma, I am sorry" said Eun Mi between sobs as she hugged her mother is neck. She was clinging with as much force as her little arms allowed her… As she could think she will leave her out of her sight again... That was not going to happen, not in a million years.

"I love you so much my princess" said Seohyun for the last time before carrying her daughter up. She looked around and could see the guards that helped on the search approaching them smiling at the beautiful reunion between mother and daughter. "Thank you so much for your help" said Seohyun as she began to bow to each one of them… Well, attempt to bow at them because Eun Mi was comfortably settled in her arms.

"No Mrs. Seo, all this will not have been possible without the help of this man" said one of the guards that was to her right.

She bowed as low as she could and said "Sir, Thank you so much for helping me find my daughter…" she looked up and her words were stuck in her throat when she spotted before her a face she will never forget. A cold chill washed over her body and she could feel the blood draining from her face. She will recognize him anywhere; that face… those eyes were something unforgettable… How many times in the past they had expend countless hours just looking at each other, just sharing the joy of expending as much time as they could together… No there was no doubt. For a few seconds everything stopped moving, the only thing that was left was the clash of their eyes as they looked at each other.

"Seohyun is that you…?"

**Author`s note**:

OMGEEEE don't kill me, we are here… ahhhhhh! I think I have written all this fics just for this chapter and the next one… OMGEEE cha cha cha channnn what will happen?, I am even doubting about what is going to happen next… _ kekekeke

Oh well, I just hope you liked it… I think this is lacking a little in the feelings side… I don't know… don't feel that the feelings were well delivered… don't know. Please give me your comments, believe me when I say that they help me a lot in improving my writing. :)

Will try to answer your questions in the last chapter and this one. For reference Seohyun is 29/30 and Yonghwa is 31/32. Four years and three months have passed from Eun Mi is birth, so the last time Yonghwa and Seohyun saw each other was 5 years ago (during their fight in the park)… Sorry I have a thing about timelines… I hope this make sense.

Well, please comments are appreciated! Happy spazzing my gogumas!


	7. Chapter 7

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Last Episode…**

_They reached a section of the airport not far away from the last place she have seen her daughter, there were a lot of security guards but her eyes were focused in the little girl… her little girl… her daughter. "Eun Mi!" screamed Seohyun a very good distance away. Her daughter looked at her and the relief she felt in those seconds was something beyond comprehension..._

_Her daughter left the guards is side and began to run to her. "Omma!" was all Eun Mi was able to say as she could see tears began to run down her daughter is cheeks._

_Seohyun dropped to her knees and waited with open arms for her daughter… She received her with a bear hug and began to kiss her hair, her cheeks, her ears, her nose, every place she could reach as her daughter cried in earnest in her arms. "I was so worried my love" said Seohyun as she caressed her daughter is hair "Don't do that to Omma again"_

_"Omma, I am sorry" said Eun Mi between sobs as she hugged her mother is neck. She was clinging with as much force as her little arms allowed her… As she could think she will leave her out of her sight again... That was not going to happen, not in a million years. _

_"I love you so much my princess" said Seohyun for the last time before carrying her daughter up. She looked around and could see the guards that helped on the search approaching them smiling at the beautiful reunion between mother and daughter. "Thank you so much for your help" said Seohyun as she began to bow to each one of them… Well, attempt to bow at them because Eun Mi was comfortably settled in her arms._

_"No Mrs. Seo, all this will not have been possible without the help of this man" said one of the guards that was to her right._

_She bowed as low as she could and said "Sir, Thank you so much for helping me find my daughter…" she looked up and her words were stuck in her throat when she spotted before her a face she will never forget. A cold chill washed over her body and she could feel the blood draining from her face. She will recognize him anywhere; that face… those eyes were something unforgettable… How many times in the past they had expend countless hours just looking at each other, just sharing the joy of expending as much time as they could together… No there was no doubt. For a few seconds everything stopped moving, the only thing that was left was the clash of their eyes as they looked at each other._

_"Seohyun is that you…?" _

**Chapter – 7**

Luckily he and Eun Mi have found a security guard really fast, apparently there was a missing girl with Eun Mi is description, the relief that washed over him was overwhelming at least the little girl was not alone and someone was looking for her.

Eun Mi has refused to go with the guard and to tell the truth he wasn't comfortable with the idea of letting her go with the man… So, now they were here waiting for her mother to come. He have been talking for a while with the man when other security guards began to gather around them, he was explaining where he found her, when in the distance they hear clearly as a woman screamed Eun Mi is name.

Eun Mi immediately let go of his hand and began to run in the direction were the woman was coming; they were a little afar so he couldn't see her clearly. The woman dropped to her knees and received her daughter in a bear like hug. It was a really heartwarming sight to watch mother and daughter be together again, little by little all the people that was gathered there began to move in the direction where the woman and the daughter were together. There were a lot of people standing between him and them, but he could clearly hear the woman talking sweetly to her daughter.

When he got to stand in the front, the woman had her back to him and was bowing to each guard thanking them for helping to find her daughter. He felt the guard beside him slapping his back telling in a loud voice "No Mrs. Seo, all this will not have been possible without the help of this man"

The woman turned, bowed low to him and said "Sir, Thank you so much for helping me find my daughter…" He was going to tell her it was not necessary but the moment she looked up, their eyes clashed. His blood ran cold… Just a few seconds and his world was turned upside down again. The world stopped moving as he took in the sight in front of him, he will recognize that face, those eyes in any place, he couldn't belief she was here standing in front of him, holding a little girl in her arms… Her daughter. His heart was beating so fast, a thousand of thoughts were running in his head, but nothing made sense… He could see she was shocked to see him too; the blood had drained from her face, she looked so pale and fragile… He thought she could collapse in any moment.

"Seohyun is that you…?" The stupidest question ever was the only thing that left his mouth as he looked at her… of course it was her, a different woman but still the same Seohyun. How many years have it been?… Five years… Five long years trying to forget the woman in front of him but failing miserably. But now she was in front of him again… Looking as beautiful as ever. Even if she looked distraught with their encounter. She looked as she wanted to run away but he was not going to let her go "Seo Joo Hyun?"

"Yonghwa" was the only thing that escaped her lips as she looked frantically around her, of all people of all places how could they meet again under these circumstances. She has planned so much how to approach him and talk to him about their daughter, but destiny has a way of making the sickest jokes. Well she was not laughing… She didn't want to face him like this, she was not prepared, she could feel her breathing accelerating little by little she was going to enter into a panic attack… The things were not going the way she have planned, she was going to talk to him first and then after all the shouts she was sure she was going to receive and with a much calmer Yonghwa; She was going to present him his daughter, not before… not before him knowing the truth. But now he was the one that helped to find her missing daughter, he has seen her first, talk to her without knowing she was his daughter.

A deep pain settled in her chest, she was feeling so guilty. She could feel tears collecting in her eyes, but she blinked several times to contain her reaction. Yonghwa was looking at her with a closed expression on his face, not giving away what he was thinking or feeling. He hadn't changed a lot, years have make him look more mature, his boyish charm was not there anymore, but a mantel of knowledge has settle on him, making him look more like a man of the world… So many years have passed but her reaction to him was exactly the same, her heart was beating so fast now, but this time not because of panic, this time it was because she couldn't stop her reaction to him looking so handsome… He was wearing a pair of lose jeans with a white long sleeve shirt rolled up to his elbows, and to complete the whole package the first three buttons of the shirt were left open.

Yes, he was as handsome as ever.

She couldn't look at him anymore; she needed to get of there as soon as possible. "Yonghwa nice to see you" said Seohyun nervously trying to collect her thoughts "Thank you for finding my daughter… I… I need to go now, Eun Mi is tired and you probably have some place to go" She bowed low to him again. "Take care" and with that she turned around and headed in the direction of the waiting room, where she have left her luggage.

He watched her go; thousands of thoughts were running through his head… She got married? No… No, he didn't see a ring and Jungshin would have told him if only to help him to forget her and move on… So she had a daughter… He wanted to ask her a lot of things, but he had an airplane to catch, he had no phone to call his friends… He was in a dilemma. What to do?, his heart and his mind were having a big battle inside of him, his mind was reminding him that it was better to let her go if he didn't want to get hurt again. He has watched her go almost running to get away from him… But his heart was not in agreement with his mind, his heart wanted to run to her, talk to her… just do something… He felt something he couldn't explain.

"Hawaii be dammed" said Yonghwa with a frustrated groan as he began to run after Seohyun, but she has disappeared. Luckily after a few minutes of looking around he found the head of security coming out of a room. "Sir excuse me, do you know where the woman and the child went… I want to make sure they are ok. She is a friend of mine."

The old man looked at him between narrowed eyes trying to read him. "Well, she did recognize you back there" said the man more to himself than to Yonghwa "She was going to catch a taxi to get to a hotel, a friend of her was unable to come to pick her up, so I send one of my mans with her to help her with her luggage"

"Do you know where they go? Asked Yonghwa anxiously for some odd reason it was important to catch her… He didn't understand it himself, but it has become imperative to find her before she disappears again.

"The closest taxi stop is through exit B, maybe you can catch them" Said the man as he pointed to a door a few meters down.

"Thank you sir" said Yonghwa as he sprinted into action. Luckily he spotted her immediately when he went out the door, a security guard was talking to a taxi driver while Seohyun was waiting beside him with Eun Mi still in her arms. It was raining heavily but he didn't care, he ran to where she was and joined her under the umbrella she was holding. "Hi" he said as he stepped in front of her under the umbrella, around them rain keeps falling, but time stopped in the confinement of her umbrella.

Their eyes clashed again, he was so close that he felt the moment her breath began to rapidly increase, her big eyes told him she didn't know what to do and just a faint "Hi" escaped her lips.

"She is already sleeping" said Yonghwa as he looked down to Eun Mi sleeping in her mother is arms.

"Ye… Yes. It has been a tiring day for her" said Seohyun trying to control her voice and erratic heart.

"My car is in the parking lot" said Yonghwa while looking her directly at her eyes. "Let me take you" He could see the moment she was going to protest so he said "I won't be a bother I just came here to send away the boys. They are going to take a vacation trip to Hawaii"

"You are not going?" asked Seohyun confused, she thought Hyoyeon have told her that she have big fight with Jungshin because the four of them were going alone to Hawaii on holiday.

"Uhmm, I have work to do for the production of our next album so I decided to stay on the last minute" said Yonghwa lying as best as he could. He watched as Seohyun tried to arrange Eun Mi in her arms with one arm so he grabbed the umbrella, giving Seohyun the freedom she needed to change the arm with which she was holding Eun Mi.

"Thank you" said Seohyun politely. "I really don't want to bother you"

"It is not going to be a bother, you need help and by the way the taxi driver is arguing with the security guard I don't think they are going to reach an agreement soon"

Seohyun hadn't been paying attention, she have been too distracted with Yonghwa and his close proximity. But now that she focused in the two men, they were really arguing in a bad way, she could hear it was something about her dog and that he didn't take animals in his taxi and this and that… They were not going anywhere with that taxi driver and as she looked around; she noticed there were not more available. Again destiny was playing a sick joke on her. Seohyun sighed to herself, as much a she wanted to reject the offer, she couldn't wait all night under the rain, she have to think about her daughter too. "Ok" said Seohyun faintly "We will go with you"

Yonghwa only smiled at her and gave instructions to the security guard to get inside again. Once inside Seohyun thanked the security guard again for his help and let Yonghwa take the lead as he pushed the car with her luggage and Beet is cage to the parking lot.

Seohyun watched in silence as Yonghwa arranged the luggage in the trunk of the car. He opened the back door for her and she was going to put Eun Mi down, when the girl increased her hold on her neck. "Omma don't go" said Eun Mi sleepily.

Seohyun looked at Yonghwa and said "I will sit with her in the back, if it is ok with you?"

"No problem" said Yonghwa as he helped Seohyun to settle down in the back seat. She was struggling with her seatbelt and he helped her with it, their eyes meet for a few moments a silent message… habits die hard. He wanted to smile, but before he could muster a smile he remembered their not so good status and opted to get in the car. Once in the driver is seat he put the little do is cage beside him. He could see the little black dog looking at him and he smiled, it was a cute dog. "Where to go?" asked Yonghwa as he began to drive to the exit of the parking lot. He arranged the rear mirror to see her better.

She looked at him through the mirror and told him "Any hotel will be fine"

"Not your dorm?" asked Yonghwa taking the Highway from Incheon Airport. It will take at least 2 hours to reach the city.

"Nooo" said Seohyun too loud. "I don't want to cause any problem. We are going to be fine in a hotel for now."

Yonghwa looked at her and decided to hold in what he was thinking. She looked tired and she needed to rest, but he didn't think a Hotel was a good place for a child. They drove in silence the rest of the way, every now and then he looked at her through the rear mirror. All the time she has been looking out the window, but this time to his surprise she has fallen sleep.

Yonghwa was thinking several possibilities until a brilliant idea settle in his mind.

******

* * *

"Seohyun… Seohyun" she could hear that someone was calling her but she was so tired. "We are here time to wake up" She tried to focus in the man that was holding open the door for her and then she remembered the airport, Eun Mi is disappearance and her meeting with Yonghwa. He leaned in to help her take off the seatbelt. "Let's go Seohyun, we are here"

Little by little Seohyun was able to get out of the car with Eun Mi in her arms. "Where are we?" asked Seohyun as she looked around the place, it definitely was not a hotel. It looked like a private residence complex, there were several houses separated by ample green spaces… It looked familiar but it was so dark and she was so sleepy that she couldn't think clearly. The street was empty, she looked at her watch it was three in the morning she had slept for a long while.

"This is my house." Said Yonghwa as he took the dog is cage out of the car.

Seohyun couldn't believe what she just heard. "YOUR HOUSE!" She asked louder than necessary but she was too surprised, Eun Mi stirred in her arms, but luckily didn't wake up. _Oh, no, no, nononono we can't stay in his house_. "Thanks for the offer, but we really will be better in a hotel. We don't want to bother you."

"I have several empty rooms in the house; you are not going to be a bother… Besides that, were are you going to go at this hour Seohyun" said Yonghwa looking at her directly "Better rest, have a nice breakfast tomorrow and you can look for a place to stay if you want to go. I am not throwing you away." He could see her trying to create excuses to avoid him, so before she could say anything he dragged her by the elbow and walked with her into the house. "You can thank me later. You need to rest first, your daughter needs to rest, so stop been so stubborn and just accept my help Seohyun"

He took them to the guest in the second floor. She looked around and it was a nice looking room, a little masculine to her taste, but she couldn't ask for more. She moved to the bed and settled her daughter in it. She needed to change her clothes, but before she could move out of the room, Yonghwa was already coming up the stairs with one of their two big bags "Thank you" said Seohyun as she watched him settle the luggage over the divan. Yonghwa moved out of the room maybe to bring the other bag, so she took the moment to free little Beet from his cage. The poor thing began to run around the room until he decided to settle under the divan.

Yonghwa was back with the last bag and watched as Seohyun was taking out some clothes from the first luggage he had brought. Everything in that bag was pink and small, so it must be Eun Mi is luggage. Eun Mi… He wanted to ask so much but the time was not right. He approached Seohyun and left the other bag beside the divan. "If you need anything my room is at the end of the hall" an uncomfortable silence filled the room "Will talk in the morning" said Yonghwa awkwardly as he moved out of the room, closing the door behind him.

His mind was moving in all directions, Seohyun was in his house, just a few steps away and her daughter with her… So many questions were filling his mind, but the important one was still avoiding him or was he not able to face it… He needed to talk to her in the morning.

*******

* * *

He was not able to sleep. All night he was keep awake with thoughts of Seohyun and Eun Mi. He caught just two hours of sleep at most. And now at 9 o clock in the morning he could hear them moving around in the first floor, mainly in the kitchen. The smell of scrambled eggs made him move out of bed and down the stairs… He was wearing his favorite long black pajama pants and a white shirt, he was presentable enough.

He was going to greet them cheerfully but was stopped cold with the sight in front of him… Eun Mi was sitting in the breakfast table; her little feet dangling from the chair were she was sitting, the little dog sleeping under her chair. She was eating a bowl of cereal and wearing a cute pink pajama with unicorns and rainbows all over it. She really looked pretty sitting there… But what made him lost his balance and gave him a lot of pain was to watch Seohyun with her back to him, cooking in his kitchen… His kitchen… It felt like some kind of Déjà vu. A sick joke… How many times when he was younger and full of illusions did he dreamed with something like this.

A house with Seohyun… A family with Seohyun. But now, he was not anymore in that picture, she has removed him out of it.

He was taken out of his thoughts when Seohyun turned around holding a plate with scrambled eggs. She gasped in surprise but recovered quickly "Good Morning" She said in a cheerful voice "Please sit down, breakfast is ready" Seohyun settled the plate with scramble eggs in the table as he moved to the empty chair in front of Seohyun "I was going to call you, but now that you are here it is better. Thank you for receiving us"

"No problem" said Yonghwa without looking up, he couldn't look at her. It felt like torture. He opted for taking his plate and fill it with eggs. He began to look for the bread, when they hear the cling of the toaster; Seohyun hurriedly stood up and brought to the table the toasted bread. "Thanks" said Yonghwa as he grabbed a slice of bread from the plate.

They began to eat in silence, he could feel a pair of eyes over him, so he looked up. He caught Eun Mi staring at him, the little girl panicked at looked down, he just smiled to himself.

He listened to Seohyun talking to her daughter in a low voice, but clear enough for him to hear "Is something wrong my love?" asked Seohyun while caressing Eun Mi is long hair. He was watching the whole thing through the corner of his eye.

"Omma, Is he your friend?" said Eun Mi in a little voice that he could hear clearly. The little girl added in a whisper, like telling her mother a secret "The one from CNBLUE"

Seohyun smiled at her daughter a very warm smile, there was something he couldn't describe in the way she was looking at her daughter. "Yes, he is" said Seohyun in a whisper. "Why don't you go to him and thank him for receiving us in his home"

Eun Mi smiled at her mother, jumped down from her chair and ran around the table to stand beside him. Yonghwa stopped what he was doing and turned around to watch the little girl. She was smiling brightly at him, her sparkling eyes an exact copy of her mother is eyes, he smiled warmly at her. "Hello, Eun Mi"

"Good Morning Ajusshi. Thank you for helping me last night and thank you for receiving us in your house." She bowed politely at him.

"So you remember?" asked Yonghwa as he watched amusedly at the little girl, sure enough she would talk as much and as fast as her mother.

"Yes" said the girl bowing again. "I am a big fan of yours."

"Really, you listen to CNBLUE" said Yonghwa smiling at the girl, she surely was a bag full of surprises.

"Yes, my Omma always listen to your music" said the girl smiling; he didn't dare to watch Seohyun. So he kept his attention focused on Eun Mi. "Can I shake your hand?"

"Of course" said Yonghwa as he extended his hand to the little girl. She grabbed his hand with her two little hands and began to shake his hand as hard as she could. He was looking amused at the little girl is attempt to shake his hand when something caught his attention. His heart stopped and his breath was taken away, he put his other hand over Eun Mi is hands to stop the shaking. He thought it was an illusion, a sick joke from his brain, but now the evidence was just in front of his eyes. He was staring so hard at the little girl is left arm… A chill ran down his back and with a controlled voice he asked "Eun Mi, How old are you?"

"4 years" said the little girl as she looked curiously at him.

Seohyun noticed the moment he caught sight of Eun Mi is birth mark. The same birth mark ran down the Jung family, he has told her the story, every son and daughter of a Jung always inherit the birth mark that is the trademark of the family members. Two red spots in their left arm near the wrist. She knew he has noticed by the way his body froze and how he was staring intently at her daughter is arm. Tears began to gather in her eyes but she kept herself in place, just waiting. She could see the wheels turning in Yonghwa is head and when he looked up to her, the question was clear in his eyes.

_Is she my daughter..._

_Yes…_

The silent exchange just took a few seconds but it was all that it took to put his life upside down, her eyes full of tears and her little nod was all he needed to prove his suspicion. It was right in front of his eyes, two red marks just as his and his brother and his father and his father is sister. Every son and daughter from the Jung family has the same birthmark it has been the trademark of the family for generations. He just asked her age to make sure… Four years… Seohyun must have been pregnant when she felt for Boston. He felt numb, he didn't know what to say, how to react to the situation, he has a daughter, he was the father of this little girl and he was robbed of the knowledge for five years. A deep rage began to settle inside of him, how could she do this to him?

"Eun Mi, let Yonghwa finish his breakfast" said Seohyun as calmly as she could to her daughter, it was moment to face reality. "You finished, right?"

Eun Mi looked at her mother and asked "Omma, why are you crying?"

"I am not crying darling, I got something in my eyes, I will be ok in a moment" said Seohyun trying to control her emotions. "Did you finish your breakfast?" Eun Mi just nodded "Ok, run upstairs for your bath, I left your clothes over the bed, call me when you finish"

"Ok. Nice to meet you Ajusshi" said Eun Mi as she let go of Yonghwa is hand, bowed again and ran to the stairs, she stopped before going up and came back to give her mother a tight hug. Her daughter was so bright "Come Beet" said Eun Mi as she disappeared up the stairs with a happy Beet trying to jump up the stairs behind her.

Silence descended in the room and for the longest time no one said anything. Yonghwa was sitting with his elbows over his knees and his hands on his hair. She kept silent just waiting for some kind of reaction from him, whatever was coming her way, she deserved it.

"Why you didn't tell me?" asked Yonghwa without moving.

"I was scared. Things were messy and a lot of decisions were made in so little time…" said Seohyun trying to explain herself but was cut by Yonghwa is outburst.

Yonghwa slapped his hand on the table and looked at her with so much hatred. She flinched in her seat. "That doesn't give you the right to hide something as important as this to me… I am her father I had a right to know."

Seohyun is eyes filled again with tears but she tried to keep herself together "I… I send you a letter… the day I was going to Boston I send you a letter telling you about my pregnancy, but you never answered it, so I thought you didn't want to know about us"

"Seohyun don't make me laugh, you know the kind of man I am" said Yonghwa totally pissed with her. He looked at her intensely and told her "If I have known, I will never ever have let you go away with my daughter… I don't believe you"

"It is the truth" said Seohyun as tears began to run down her eyes. "A should have called you, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, I was scared I didn't want anything bad to happen."

"What bad thing could have happen?" asked Yonghwa, she didn't answer "So you were afraid of the scandal, it was only that?"

"This could have finished with your career, with CNBLUE and SNSD. I couldn't do that to you. There was so much on the table" said Seohyun as she dried her tears with the back of her hand, she couldn't tell him the other reason behind all this.

"So you decided on your own, that it was best to denied me the right to know about my own child" said Yonghwa with so little control, he was shaking from the rage. He was getting louder and louder he was so upset, how could she do this to him? His brain was trying to come to an understanding of the situation but he was having difficulty grasping the whole thing.

"I am sorry"

That did it, he lost it. He stood up abruptly from his seat… The chair toppled over making a lot of noise in the process. He didn't care, he walked around the table and pulled her out of her seat with so much force that she lost her balance and found herself in his arms. When they were face to face just a few inches from each other, he told her with lethal calmness "I am fucking sick of you saying sorry and of me trying to understand your actions every time" His icy eyes warmed a little as he continued "How much more can you hurt me Seohyun? How many times are you going to walk over me?"

Her eyes became full of tears again, he could see through her eyes that she was really sorry, but he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to make her some physical damage, for her to feel how hurt he was. He was fighting so much for control, until she said those dammed words again. "I am sorry"

He pushed her away as if she was some kind of lethal poison, her back hit the fridge with a lot of force and she just froze in place looking scared. He couldn't take it anymore; he needed to get out that place… He… He was this close to lose it and looking at her tears made it even worst, he needed to breathe clean air, he need to get out of the house. He moved around the kitchen grabbed his car keys from the counter and moved in the direction of the front door. He stopped in his tracks before getting out of the kitchen; he didn't dare to look back at her, not with the way he was feeling… He just told her over his shoulder "You better be here when I get back… I am a different man Seohyun you don't know of what I am capable. Don't you dare to move from this house…" He didn't wait for her answer and just walk away.

She stayed in place until she heard the front door slamming and the car moving away from the house. That is when she let herself collapse in the floor; she began to cry in earnest with a hand over her mouth. She couldn't let her daughter listen to her crying. It was all her fault what did she expect of him, to receive her with open arms. She has to remember why she was doing this; she owned it to her daughter. She had a right to know who her father is. She just needed to hang in there until things calmed a little.

Seohyun began to move into action, when she heard her daughter calling her name from the second floor. She quickly dried her tears with the apron she was wearing and moved to the kitchen table to arrange the toppled chair. She gathered the discarded food and throw it away in the trash. She couldn't bring herself to eat anything.

When Eun Mi entered the kitchen she found her Omma washing the dishes in the sink. "Omma I am ready" said Eun Mi as she approached her mother.

"So you are ready!" said Seohyun smiling at her daughter as she turned around. "Why don't you go out with Beet to the backyard… I will be watching the two of you from here. I am sure Beet will thank you for it."

Eun Mi smiled at her Omma; she could tell her Omma has been crying. She knows because that is the smile she give her every time she wants to hide she have been crying. She knows her Omma always try to be strong. That is why she always behave and always bring good grades, because she don't want to worry her Omma anymore, her dad was not with them, always travelling and she knew her Omma was always sad and cried alone in her room because of that.

Eun Mi extended her arms up, calling silently for her mother to carry her. Seohyun smiled to her daughter and carried her "I love you, Omma"

"I love you to my little princess" said Seohyun as she kissed her daughter is head and hugged her with so much force. "I hope you can forgive me too"

"I will always forgive you Omma, no matter what… I love you" Eun Mi kissed Seohyun is cheek and wiggled her way down. "Come Beet" and with that she went out the door to play with Beet.

A big lump attached to Seohyun is throat; she looked at her daughter as she rolled around the grass with Beet. She was such beautiful child, her child, their child… Yes, what she was doing was right thing to do; she will endure whatever to make things fall in their rightful places, she owned all of them that. _Whatever it takes…_

**Author`s Note**:

OMGEEEE Glad you liked the last chapter. Such a great response from all of you thank you. A million thanks! I know the cliffhanger was just ARGHHH material, so I decide to put together this chapter faster. As someone said it was a cliffy from hell! kekekekeke

I was doubting how to write this chapter, but someone left me a good advice and this chapter was finished faster than expected. Just follow your heart… great advice. Thank you!

Well, let's see what you think about this, are you surprised by Yonghwa is reaction or you thought it was going to be worse. By the way the real Yonghwa have a birth mark in his left arm. Watch the picture below… :) This was part of the fic from the beginning when someone pointed it out in soompi… He always have the mark photoshoped, just in surprise photos you are able to see his birthmark.


	8. Chapter 8

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Last Episode…**

_When Eun Mi entered the kitchen she found her Omma washing the dishes in the sink. "Omma I am ready" said Eun Mi as she approached her mother._

_"So you are ready!" said Seohyun smiling at her daughter as she turned around. "Why don't you go out with Beet to the backyard… I will be watching the two of you from here. I am sure Beet will thank you for it."_

_Eun Mi smiled at her Omma; she could tell her Omma has been crying. She knows because that is the smile she give her every time she wants to hide she have been crying. She knows her Omma always try to be strong. That is why she always behave and always bring good grades, because she don't want to worry her Omma anymore, her dad was not with them, always travelling and she knew her Omma was always sad and cried alone in her room because of that._

_Eun Mi extended her arms up, calling silently for her mother to carry her. Seohyun smiled to her daughter and carried her "I love you, Omma"_

_"I love you to my little princess" said Seohyun as she kissed her daughter is head and hugged her with so much force. "I hope you can forgive me too"_

_"I will always forgive you Omma, no matter what… I love you" Eun Mi kissed Seohyun is cheek and wiggled her way down. "Come Beet" and with that she went out the door to play with Beet._

_A big lump attached to Seohyun is throat; she looked at her daughter as she rolled around the grass with Beet. She was such beautiful child, her child, their child… Yes, what she was doing was right thing to do; she will endure whatever to make things fall in their rightful places, she owned all of them that. Whatever it takes…_

**Chapter – 8**

It was past midnight when he reached his home again, he has been all day just driving around the city and ended up in FNC is practice room looking for some kind of comfort, but it ended up been the worst decision ever, because he ended up thinking about the first time they meet… the first time he have brought her to FNC is practice room and then memories began to roll on their own. Too many memories in so little space have not been good for him. His feelings were too messed up to deal with past memories.

He entered the house in silence, probably everyone was already sleeping. He liked the silence, he went through the living room and found the corner lamp turned on, but before he began to walk in that direction, he noticed something in the corner of his eyes, he turned a little and found Seohyun sleeping in his couch. She was wearing long blue pajama pants and a white t-shirt with some letters on it; he couldn't read them from his position… He was tempted to walk closer to her, to remove from her face some of the hairs that have fallen out of her messy ponytail but he knew better, he didn't trust himself near her… He was mad, really mad, but after a lot of thinking he has decided to listen to her first, to really talk about what happened… The only thing he was sure is that she was not going anywhere with his daughter again… never.

He moved to the stairs, he needed a bath, a hot bath; it will help with the knots that were killing his back. He moved in silence through the second floor but stopped in front of the half open door of one of his guest room. He opened the door a little more and found Eun Mi sleeping peacefully in bed. She has inherited her mother is habit of hugging her pillow during sleep… He walked in and approached the bed; the little black dog was soundly sleeping near the foot of the bed, the dog looked at him for a few seconds moved his tail a little and fell back to sleep immediately… what a great guardian dog this little thing was… note the sarcasm.

When he reached the bed, he sat beside Eun Mi is sleeping form… She was really pretty… as much as her mother, they were like exact replicas of each other, with the slight difference that Eun Mi had with her the mark of the Jung Family… She was his daughter… His daughter. He still have issues grasping that kind of reality, but it didn't damp the joy of knowing that there was a little someone who was the representation of how much he loved her mother. And he loved this little girl so much already, it was scary and fulfilling at the same time… to love one little person so much so suddenly. He ran his fingers through her hair trying to arrange the mess but it was impossible. She moved a little in her sleep and whispered something like _ice cream_…. He wanted to laugh, she was dreaming about eating ice cream… chocolate ice cream if he was listening well… He would make sure to buy her chocolate ice cream the next day. He smiled and caressed her hair one last time, before moving out of the room.

He continued his trip to his bathroom while removing his clothes, and once inside he let the hot water do wonders over his back, he let the water take away his worries for the moment. He was tired, really tired, he has been dealing with his feelings all day and not to forget his friends, they drilled him until they got out of him the information they wanted. That video call has been a helpful mess in a way.

_"Hyung, I can't believe you did this to us" said a very upset looking Jungshin through their video call. "Hyoyeon is going to kill me, because of you"_

_Yonghwa remained in silence, he was talking too them from their boss is office, during Saturday afternoon FNC was always empty so he had the building for himself, he decided to check his emails, when he noticed he had a gazillion messages from his brothers and that is when he remembered he deserted them in the airport._

_"Yonghwa, we were really worried for you" said Jonghyun looking not too happy "You just disappeared after we bought some food, we thought you were in the plane already, but to our surprise you were not there and it was too late to get down"_

_"And just now you appear again, almost 24 hours later…" said Jungshin looking really mad. "Geeshhh Hyung you need to think about others too, we were really worried and to think I…"_

_"I found her in the airport" was the only thing he was able to say._

_"Is this over a woman?" asked Jungshin shocked. "Hyung how many times do we need to tell you that you don't have to go after all the girls that approach you, we have talked about this, as much as they throw themselves at you, you don't need too…"_

_"Not other woman, I found HER in the airport" said Yonghwa with a deep sight._

_The first to react was Minhuyk "When you say HER, are you talking about Seohyun?" asked Minhuyk in a whisper almost afraid to ask. He knew that was a topic that was off limits between them._

_"Yes" was Yonghwa is single answer. _

_Silence reigned between them for a long moment until Jonghyun asked "Yonghwa are you ok?"_

_"She has a daughter"_

_Surprised gasps were heard from the other side of the line, Jungshin was the first one to talk "Hyoyeon would have told me if she have gotten married, we don't really talk about it but she would have told me… "_

_"Seohyun is daughter is my daughter"_

_Minhuyk spit the water he was drinking, Jonghyun began to cough and Jungshin was looking like a fish out of water trying to breathe… He will be laughing if not for the issue been so serious._

_"You are kidding" said Jungshin after he regained his mind. He was in total shock._

_"I wish I was" said Yonghwa as he moved his hand through his hair. "She was pregnant when she quit SNSD and moved to Boston… I can't believe she didn't tell me anything" said Yonghwa, the last more to himself than to his friends._

_"I can't believe she never tell you anything" said Minhuyk concerned about the matter "It is not like her to hide something like this"_

_"She said she sent me a letter the day she was going to Boston but I don't remember about it… If I have known I wouldn't let her take my daughter away" said Yonghwa looking really mad._

_"Ehhhh Hyung… You did receive a letter from her, the day she was going to Boston" said Jungshin calmly feeling confident and glad they were in a video call, because by the way Yonghwa was looking at him, he didn't think he would have been able to live long enough to finish what he have to say. "Manager Hyung brought the letter and you told him to destroy it… I remember because after that you got so drunk that we had to literally drag you out of that bar in Hongdae and the next month was a living hell, because you were in a really bad mood all the time…"_

_"Yes I remember" said Minhuyk as he looked at Yonghwa is expression. "Hyung what are you going to do?"_

_"I have not decided yet, but the one thing I am sure is that she is not going to take my daughter away again" said Yonghwa with a lot of feeling… His mind was running in all directions, so she has sent the letter, the problem was he was so hurt and stupid enough to miss reading her letter. 'That must be the most stupid mistake of my life' though Yonghwa to himself._

_"Yonghwa do you want us to get back?" asked Jonghyun worried for his friend _

_"It is not necessary" said Yonghwa calmly he have a lot to think about "Enjoy your trip and take some surf classes for me, see you next week" He smiled to his friends and ended the call before they could say anything more._

He has been thinking a lot after that video call, Seohyun was telling the truth about the letter, they really needed to talk. He moved out from his bathroom and dressed in his gray training pants and a black sleeveless t-shirt. He walked without hurry to the living room thinking how to approach Seohyun over the matter.

Once in the living room he found Seohyun in the same position as before. He approached her side slowly and just stood there looking down, drowning in her features, in her calm expression as she sleep, how many nights he stayed up just watching her sleep, he could never get enough of her, of her beauty of the calmness she invoked in him… Years have passed but she was as beautiful as ever. His heart was bothering him again, he bent down a little to remove the hair that have fallen over her face and that is when he noticed it, she have been crying. As lightly as possible he moved his thumb over her damp cheek, he repeated the movement several times until he felt Seohyun began to wake under his light caress.

She was having a dreamless sleep until she felt a light caress on her cheek, it was so light but it felt so nice, she didn't want to wake up. But she wanted to know where this nice feeling was coming from so she slowly opened her eyes to find herself under Yonghwa is direct gaze.

Their eyes clashed, for a long while no one said a thing as Yonghwa began to caress her cheek again, she didn't know how to react what to say, and the only thing that was registering in her brain was that they were alone in his living room with just the corner lamp as their companion.

She though back to the conversation she had with the girls that afternoon, they have agreed on only one advice…

_"I found him in the airport… He… He knows about Eun Mi" said Seohyun talking on her cell phone in Yonghwa is terrace, she was watching over Eun Mi as she played with Beet on the backyard. _

_After her statement she could hear her unnies is squeals on the other side of the line. "FINALLY" screamed Hyoyeon over the noise. "It was time, YES! So he knows he is her father?"_

_"Yes, he found out when he looked at Eun Mi is birth mark" Seohyun couldn't believe her friends; she needed moral support not this._

_"OMG OMG OMG Seohyun we are so happy" squealed Tiffany to the phone._

_"He is really mad"_

_"Well, Seohyun I never though he will receive the news with flowers and chocolates for you" said Hyoyeon sounding reproachful "I told you to tell him from the beginning. But now is not the time to think about the pass…. What are you going to do now? Where are you staying?"_

_"I am staying in his house" said Seohyun almost in a whisper but her friends had good ears._

_"Ahhhhhh" was the only scream she could recognize from all the different noises they were making "You are living with him?" asked Sooyoung in shock._

_"I did not agree to live with him, he brought me to his house just because I fell asleep in his car and before I knew it, I was staying in his house and now he told me the most random thing…"_

_"What did he say?" asked Sunny trying to contain the giddiness in her voice._

_"He said 'You better be here when I get back… I am a different man Seohyun you don't know of what I am capable'" said Seohyun imitating Yonghwa is voice. Now finding irritating the way he thought he could order her around._

_The squeals that followed that statement were ear splitting; she had to remove the phone from her ear in fear of losing her hearing ability. "Finally, Thank you God" She could hear Taeyeon said in the other side of the line._

_"Hyunie this is your chance, go for it, tell him the whole truth, he has a right to know why you left" said Jessica over the noise her friends were making. "You have to come clean with him; he has a right to know"_

_"I don't know if I can" said Seohyun without much strength; she couldn't face that issue with him yet._

_"WHAT?" said Hyoyeon screaming into the phone "Oh no, no, no you are lucky I am not there because I will be slapping some sense into you…" she could tell Hyoyeon was mad "We are going back next week, you better have told him before we get there, because if you don't do it I am going to do it… I don't care if you hate me the rest of your life but this have to end…"_

_"Hyoyeon calm down" she could hear Yoona talking to Hyoyeon. _

_"She is right, you know that Seohyun" said Yuri seriously._

_She wanted to cry, but her friends were right, she have to do something. "I will do my best"_

_"You better do it" said Hyoyeon still sounding mad. "I guess this is why Jungshin told me this morning that Yonghwa disappeared in the airport and didn't travel with them to Hawaii"_

_"What?" asked Seohyun shocked, he have told her that he was just dropping his friends to the airport, not that he was going with them too._

_"You didn't know, he was traveling with his brothers to Hawaii?… I told you last week Seohyun that is why I am still mad with Jungshin…Maybe you forgot about it"_

_"Y… Yes, that is it. I was arranging many things last week, maybe I just forgot" said Seohyun trying to keep calm; her heart was running a thousand miles per hour. He lost his flight to Hawaii to follow them; she didn't know what to think about it._

_"We will talk tomorrow" said Tiffany cutting the awkward silence that descended in the phone "Send our love to Eun Mi, take care… Do what you fill is right Seohyun"_

And now she was here lying on the couch her eyes drowning in the rich brown of his eyes… So many things to say but she couldn't say a single word.

"We need to talk" he told her as he moved to the couch in front of her. The coffee table between them. He looked so handsome; his damp hair shining with the lamp light while his gaze was directed with so much intensity in her direction.

She could feel his eyes running over her and it was making her want to fan herself, but she resisted the urge… She was regretting losing the contact, but she acknowledged his request to talk and sat properly in the couch. "Ok" was her short reply, she didn't trust her voice in this moment.

"I talked to the boys" said Yonghwa as he interlaced his hands over his lap adopting a relaxed position, trying to disguise the underlying tension but not successfully; his contained energy was like a blow to her oversensitive nervous system. She felt tingly all over. "I told them about Eun Mi and about the letter, Jungshin remembered about the letter… the details are not important but I never got to read it… I apologize for saying you were lying over the letter earlier"

"I… I understand. You were mad, you probably are still mad" said Seohyun trying to calm herself while clasping her hands tightly in her lap. "I just want you to get to know Eun Mi, she is such a nice girl, I am sure you will love her…"

"Why you came back?" asked Yonghwa gazing at her intently.

"I thought it was time" said Seohyun gaining strength to look him directly in the eyes. "All this time I have been lying to you and to her and I just can't keep things this way" Seohyun is eyes became full of tears "During her last birthday, she said something that just broke my heart and I couldn't take it anymore… It has been difficult, raising her alone but I was able to pull through it… But then she said that and I realized that I will never be able to fulfill her father is place"

"What did she said?" asked Yonghwa trying not to feel bad for Seohyun, she looked so small and alone and he wanted to grab her and just hold her, but he needed answers first.

"In class she was asked to draw something that her father likes, as a present for father is day, but she told me that she didn't know what her father liked and was just hoping that her father will like the bunny she has draw for him" A few tears escaped her eyes, she was sad for her daughter, she was sad for Yonghwa too, she have seen how he tensed when he hear about what she just told him. "Whatever are the issues between us, it shouldn't be in the way in your relationship with our daughter… I am really sorry Yonghwa, I was just too afraid to tell you the truth, but I don't care what happens next as long as you and Eun Mi get know each other I will be happy… She is such a nice girl"

"I know that Seohyun" said Yonghwa with difficulty, his little girl will never be without her dad again. "I want to get to know her too, she is really well behaved, during my time with her in the airport she was very polite, she made me think about you and in the end she was your daughter… Our daughter" Silence filled the room while they tried to decipher the person opposite to them, so little distance but such a great gap between them. "When she was born?"

"July 1" said Seohyun.

"That was the day before I entered my military service" said Yonghwa thinking about that day.

"I know" was all Seohyun could say, Hyoyeon have confessed to her that she has showed Eun Mi is photo to Yonghwa that day… Maybe he didn't remember…

"The boys organized a party for me and your sisters were in the party…" Yonghwa looked at her surprised "That day they were celebrating because their niece… Eun Mi was born" Seohyun just nodded, she knew what he was thinking. A deep pain settle in Yonghwa is chest "The picture that Hyoyeon showed me was my daughter…" He couldn't believe how sick life could be.

"I made them promise not to tell you anything" said Seohyun quickly "Don't be mad at them, it is my entire fault"

Yonghwa just bent over and grabbed his head with his hand while resting his elbows over his knees "This is just too much" said Yonghwa feeling sick. He has watched his daughter four years ago and was robbed of the knowledge… He was really mad with her. "I want her to know I am her father"

"I agree" said Seohyun as calm as she could. "But I think it is best for her to know you a little before telling her the truth." Seohyun took a deep breath and told him "She thinks her dad is a business man that expend all year traveling, that is why he have never been around"

Yonghwa looked up with his eyes full of hatred "I guess with time you have become better at lying, I am not surprised" He stood up and walked around the coffee table to stand in front of Seohyun. He grabbed her hand putting a lot of pressure around her left wrist, while dragging her up. She could feel her heart trying to jump out of her chest when he closed the distance between them. He was so close; she could feel the heat from his body going through the thin material of her pajama. She looked up and their eyes clashed again. "But I know you better than anyone else" He grabbed her chin when she tried to look away "I know you are not telling me the whole truth… I want the truth Seohyun, not half, not more than half, I want all of it…" '_I want all of you'_ was Yonghwa is primitive though as he felt Seohyun so close to him, a little step and their bodies will be touching, a little step and he could be feeling her between his arms again… Just a little step… But then typical Seohyun began to panic and moved away from him.

With a twist of her arm she managed to break from his grasp and hastily moved closer to the bottom of the stairs "I have told you everything"

Yonghwa looked at her intently "You are lying"

"You can't say that!" said Seohyun protesting, he was acting all high and mighty.

"I know you are not telling me all the truth" Yonghwa slowly began to walk in her direction.

Seohyun began to move backward moving closer to the stairs… "The only thing I need to tell you is that we are moving out tomorrow, my parents is house is two blocks away and…" She couldn't finish what she was saying because before she has time to react, Yonghwa had her pressed against the wall. "What do you think you are doing?" asked Seohyun faintly as Yonghwa pressed himself more firmly on her.

He bent down and for a few crazy seconds she thought he was going to kiss her but he stopped short and moved his mouth to whisper into her ear "Seohyun-a" A shiver ran down her body and the worst was that he could feel it, she knew for the way his lips were smiling against her ear "I am the only man you have ever let in… in all the ways possible" She was blushing furiously she knew the double meaning behind that statement "I know you, I know what make you laugh" He blow a puff of air into her ear and it gave her tickles, she squirmed under him. Then Yonghwa added in a low sexy voice that melted her insides "I know what makes you blush, what makes gasp, what makes you moan, what makes you scream my name in pleasure" he bit the lobe of her ear and a little moan escaped her. "I know you better than anyone else and I know you are hiding something from me"

He moved away, Seohyun wanted to protest but she keep quite.

"You better go before I do something stupid" said Yonghwa as he took another step away from her. "We will talk about our housing arrangement in the morning

She wanted to scream at him, why… why, why! After all this time he keep having this kind of control over her, she was not able to resist him… that is why she needed to get out of the house, if she wanted to keep the little sense she have left she needed to be away from him. "As I told you, my parents is house is two blocks away from here… you will be able to visit whenever you want, but we can't stay here." He didn't say anything just looked at her intently "It is such a coincidence that your house is in the same neighborhood…"

"It is not a coincidence…"

She stopped talking; she didn't know what to say… She cleared her throat "Ok, But still we are moving out tomorrow… So if you will excuse me, good night"

But before she could move up the stairs, he grabbed her wrist again and spun her around, she found herself again pressed into the wall. With his mouth hovering over hers just a few inches away. Their eyes looking intently at each other. "I told you Seohyun, I am a different man now, you don't know of what I am capable" he moved his mouth to her ear and began to kiss her just below the ear, the place he knew make her crazy with want. He began to lick his way down her neck until he left his mark on her neck, satisfied with the red mark he moved back to her ear as Seohyun moaned for him in pleasure. How he have missed her. "You are not going anywhere, so get used to the idea of living with me… in my house." _'You are mine'_ Yonghwa wanted to say, but controlled his instincts.

With that said he moved away, looked at her disheveled look and was forced to collect as much self control as he could muster. Seohyun had her eyes closed and was trying to control her breathing, when she opened her eyes he could see confusion in her eyes, she didn't know what to think, hell he wasn't sure either, he just felt the need to make a statement… to leave his mark on her… He really didn't know what to think about his actions, but the thing he was sure was that if he doesn't move away in the next few seconds, he will end up making a lot more than the light teasing they just had. He wanted her under him, grabbing his back, sinking her nails into his flesh as she screamed his name in pleasure, as he sink himself deep inside her, again and again… Just the idea was making him hard. The throbbing between his legs was getting painful, he looked at her one last time before saying "You better be here in the morning, I am not playing Seohyun. I have a lot of ways to make you stay… Don't push my limits"

Seohyun let herself fall to the floor after she could hear Yonghwa is door closing, every fiber of her body wanted him. She was hot and bothered by his approach… She couldn't stay. She wouldn't survive been this close to him, not if he keep teasing her like that, touching her like that, she wanted so much more... _'God, I won't be able to resist him. I need to do something. Please give me enough strength to survive this…'_

She needed to think, things weren't looking good for her in the near future, but she could see the light in her daughter is path and that gave her hope. She stood up and moved to her room, things will get better in the morning or at least she hoped they will…

**Author 's note**:

Hi! Sorry for the delay, I was busy at work, I try to update at least once during weekends.

MILLION THANKS for all the support in the last chapter, really glad you liked it… I think Yonghwa is reaction was understandable… and now in this chapter what do you think of Yonghwa… In my head Yonghwa is just really hot stuff and with the way he wants Seohyun, GAWWWHHH he is even hotter… well I will like to know what you think about the relationship between this two. XD you like it or you hate it or you would like to be in Seohyun in position… kekekeke what position, well that is up to you… kekekekek XD OMG when my mind enter the naughty side is difficult to stop.

Oh well, hope to read your comments about this chapter, will try to answer your comments in the last chapter. Good Luck to all! Have a happy week!


	9. Chapter 9

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Last Episode…**

_With that said he moved away, looked at her disheveled look and was forced to collect as much self control as he could muster. Seohyun had her eyes closed and was trying to control her breathing, when she opened her eyes he could see confusion in her eyes, she didn't know what to think, hell he wasn't sure either, he just felt the need to make a statement… to leave his mark on her… He really didn't know what to think about his actions, but the thing he was sure was that if he doesn't move away in the next few seconds, he will end up making a lot more than the light teasing they just had. He wanted her under him, grabbing his back, sinking her nails into his flesh as she screamed his name in pleasure, as he sink himself deep inside her, again and again… Just the idea was making him hard. The throbbing between his legs was getting painful, he looked at her one last time before saying "You better be here in the morning, I am not playing Seohyun. I have a lot of ways to make you stay… Don't push my limits"_

_Seohyun let herself fall to the floor after she could hear Yonghwa's door closing; every fiber of her body wanted him. She was hot and bothered by his approach… She couldn't stay. She wouldn't survive been this close to him, not if he keep teasing her like that, touching her like that, she wanted so much more... 'God, I won't be able to resist him. I need to do something. Please give me enough strength to survive this…'_

_She needed to think, things weren't looking good for her in the near future, but she could see the light in her daughter is path and that gave her hope. She stood up and moved to her room, things will get better in the morning or at least she hoped they will…_

**Chapter – 9**

He just had the worst night of his life. He really couldn't sleep; he couldn't stop thinking about Seohyun, about his daughter… Their daughter. So much time lost. He was going to do everything in his hands to get closer to her… He still couldn't believe he had a little girl… Four years old and for what he can tell as bright as her mother… What traits of his would she have?

On the other hand, the mother was a mystery to him. Yes, she has sent him a letter but knowing him, how could she think that he wouldn't be interested? If he has known he had a daughter, things would have been different… As much as he hated her in that moment, he wouldn't neglect a child of his just because his issues with her mother.

He looked at the clock it was 7:00 a.m., time to wake up, if he couldn't catch sleep it was better to just get out of bed and began the day. He moved to his bathroom and took care of himself. After that he went out of his room and looked inside Eun Mi and Seohyun is room. The door was slightly open so he looked inside. Seohyun was sleeping on her side, her back to him facing the window, he looked around and couldn't find Eun Mi in the room, and the little dog was missing too.

He went down the stairs following the sound of the TV and found Eun Mi and her little dog watching the TV in the living room. She was wearing a light pink pajama with long pants and a flower printed shirt. She was really engrossed watching a cartoon of a boy with a blue hat and blue clothes. Interesting he didn't know he had kids channels in his TV, so many thing were going to change from now on.

Eun Mi was so engrossed on the show that she didn't noticed when he entered the living room; he walked to where she was sitting in the floor and began to sit beside her as he asked "What are we watching?"

She was startled by his sudden appearance but she smiled cutely at him and with a little bow said "Good Morning Ajusshi"

"Good Morning, Eun Mi" said Yonghwa back to her… He wanted to correct the Ajusshi part but it was too soon, he needed to get closer to her. "Please don't call me Ajusshi it makes me feel old" said Yonghwa laughing as he ruffled her hair "Why don't you try calling me Yonghwa, your mother and I have been friends for a long time and I want to be your friend too. If you would like that…"

"I will like it!" said Eun Mi smiling up at him "My Omma always talks about you, Aju… Yonghwa-shi"

"Really?" asked Yonghwa smiling at the little girl "Can I know what she has told you?" Lowering his voice to a conspiratorial tone he added "Or it is a secret? I promise I won't tell a soul." She smiled brightly at him, she found him funny, it was a beginning.

She actually have to think about her answer, Yonghwa was smiling to himself until she answered his question "She said that you helped her a lot… and that you were good to her and she is really grateful to you… and that she really likes you music."

"She said all that" said Yonghwa as he caressed Eun Mi is hair "I will have to give my thanks to your Omma for thinking so well of me… But what do you think about me"

"My Omma said you are good, so I think you are good too" Eun Mi smiled one last time before going back to watch the cartoon.

They watched the rest of the cartoon in silence. For what he could tell the cartoon was about a little boy with some random friends and their time together… This Pocoyo character was funny and he could tell Eun Mi really liked him. He was taking note of that for future reference. He watched in silence as the narrator asked questions to be answered by the kids. Eun Mi happily answered the questions and smiled merrily at some random things or mess the characters were making. He wasn't paying much attention to the show, but a lot at his daughter. Just 24 hours ago, he got to know she was his daughter and still it feel so strange to be sitting here with her watching a kid's show, just to spend some time with his daughter.

If someone has told him that he was going to spend this Sunday watching the "Pocoyo Show" instead of recovering of a pretty bad hangover after a beach party in Hawaii he would have laughed in their face… But now here he was thinking in ways to get closer to the little girl beside him.

"Aren't you hungry?" asked Yonghwa as the final credits appeared on the screen

"A little, but Omma is sleeping… I don't want to bother her" said Eun Mi slowly. Then she added in a whisper leaning into Yonghwa her big eyes looking directly at him "She was crying"

"Really?" asked Yonghwa as he swallowed the lump in his throat. "You don't like it when you Omma cry." Eun Mi shock her head. "Does she cry a lot?"

"Sometimes" said Eun Mi as she moved her attention back to the TV. "In the night… When no one can see her, but I know"

"You know why she cries?" asked Yonghwa with a deep pain settling in his chest.

"I think is because of Appa" said Eun Mi while caressing the little black dog is fur. The little thing was comfortable sleeping beside her. "I think she miss him"

"And you?" said Yonghwa trying to keep his voice controlled, his voice was in the verge of breaking. "Do you miss your Appa?"

"Sometimes" said Eun Mi as she looked at him "But he is not with us, because of his work"

"Would you like to see him?" asked Yonghwa fearing her answer.

"Yes" said Eun Mi a sad expression crossing her face "But he can't come, so Omma always read to me the letters he send to us"

"He has been sending letters?" asked Yonghwa a little surprised, he need to ask Seohyun about that, the lengths she have taken to keep up the lie... He was furious with her.

"Yes, we always send messages to him too" said Eun Mi smiling at him.

Yonghwa smiled at the little girl "I am sure he is very happy receiving your messages, I will be too" He noticed how her smile faltered a little. "What is wrong Eun Mi?"

"Maybe he doesn't love us anymore" said Eun Mi as she looked down.

She looked so small and so sad; he wanted to hug her really badly. "Why would you think that?"

"He didn't send me a letter for my birthday" said Eun Mi her voice on the verge of crying "Maybe he doesn't love us anymore"

He couldn't take it; he grabbed the little girl in his arms and gave her a bear hug. "Trust me, your Appa love you with all his heart, I am sure of that" She hugged him back with all her might… So little and with so much to handle, she was bright but the situation was robbing her of her childhood. He will need to talk with Seohyun about this later.

They hugged for a long time until Yonghwa told her "Would you like me to prepare you breakfast?" Eun Mi raised her head and nodded as she looked at him. "What would you like to it?"

"Hotcakes!" said Eun Mi jumping up and down as he began to stand up from the floor. "Ok, let's go to the kitchen… I don't remember if I have the ingredients around…" They entered the kitchen together with the little black dog behind them. Yonghwa looked around and noticed he really didn't have anything healthy for a kid. All canned food and pre-cook things. "We will need to go to the grocery store" He looked down at Eun Mi "Would you like to come with me?"

"I have to ask Omma is permission, but she is sleeping" said Eun Mi looking hopelessly at him.

"Don't worry she wouldn't mind, we will be back very soon" said Yonghwa as he ruffled her hair again. "Just get your jacket"

She smiled at him and began to run up the stairs, the little dog running behind her. A few minutes later she was back with her jacket on. "I am ready" announced Eun Mi proud of herself as she ran back to him.

He crouched in front of her to zip her jacket. It was October and it was getting a little cold so better be safe than sorry. "So let's go" said Yonghwa as he extended his hand to her. She grabbed his hand and together they walked out of the house. The little dog was following them "I am sorry my friend but you can't come"

"Bye Bye Beet" said Eun Mi as Yonghwa closed the door leaving the dog inside.

They walked hand in hand to the car and Yonghwa helped her to put on her seatbelt in the back seat of the car. He jumped to the driver seat and they began their travel to the grocery store. "So why Beet?" asked Yonghwa making conversation. The grocery was really close to the house, just a few blocks away of the gate of the residential complex. "Did you give him that name?"

"Yes" said Eun Mi as she nodded vigorously, he was watching her through the rearview mirror. "Sarang Beet"

Yonghwa smiled. "Like the song?" Eun Mi nodded again "Do you like it?"

"My Omma always sing that song to me when I am sick" said Eun Mi smiling at him "She says that song always makes her feel better"

Another sharp pain settled in his heart and he had to grab strongly the steering wheel to keep focused. It was really miserable the whole situation they were in and he needed to know why, he will get Seohyun to tell him the whole truth no matter what, because as much as she claim that she didn't want to mess with their careers, he knows Seohyun well enough to say that she wouldn't run out of the country without a good reason.

When they reached the grocery store, Yonghwa helped Eun Mi out of the car and walked hand in hand to the place. He was going to grab a basket but Eun Mi found a little supermarket car, the ones made for kids, so he let her push the car around, she looked happy.

Little by little they began their walk around the grocery and before he knew it, they had spend 45 minutes inside the place, yes they have found the hotcakes ingredients but before he knew it he was buying a lot bunch of other things… He didn't mind… That way he got to know that his daughter loved orange juice, fresh RED apples (very important to note, No the green ones, the green ones were 'Bleehh'; her words, he just smiled.), she liked the "Froot Loops" cereal (she didn't like the regular corn flakes he have in his house), she just eat integral bread (not the white one because her Omma have told her it was not healthy), they bought Ma too because Seohyun loved to make Ma shakes, he already knew that, but he let her do the talking; She was like an open book full of random knowledge just like her mother. At last but not least they added to their purchase chocolate ice cream, she loved chocolate and in ice cream much better (But her mother didn't let her eat much of it, because too much sugar was not good, but still she loved chocolate ice cream and he didn't mind buying it to please his daughter).

By the end of their trip, his hands were full with the grocery bags and they began to walk back to the car. He told her to grab his shirt just as his Omma did with him when he was little and she couldn't grab his hand. Who knew the knowledge will come handy someday. Anyone looking from the outside would thing nothing wrong with the scene, a father and his daughter walking through the parking lot laughing about random stuff.

They made such a nice sight, that a random lady stopped him to tell him how pretty his daughter was, he didn't correct the lady and Eun Mi keep herself quite behind him; the lady have pinched her chubby cheeks with too much force and she was hiding behind him. In the end, he just said "Thank you" to the woman with a little bow and keep their path to the car. To tell the truth he was feeling very good inside, after that encounter. He liked the idea of people knowing he was her father.

He put the things in the trunk of the car and helped her again with her seatbelt. "Ready?" he asked her through the rearview mirror as he settled in the driver is seat.

"Ready!" Eun Mi said as she smiled at him.

"Well, ladies and gentleman we are prepared for takeoff, welcome to the flight 747 destination the Jung house" said Yonghwa imitating perfectly the voice of a flight Capitan through the speakers in a plane. He could listen to his daughter laughing merrily with his craziness. He watched her through the rearview mirror, her sparkling eyes were telling him, she was happy. A warm feeling settled inside of him, yes he loved his daughter and yes he will make things work between them… Everything was going to be fine.

* * *

Seohyun woke up to the noise of a child laughing… Her daughter. She looked at the clock beside the bed it was 9:30 a.m. It was late… She had problems trying to catch sleep last night. Her conversation with Yonghwa and what happened after have left her in a real mess. She had cried in silence not wanting to disturb Eun Mi, in the end she didn't remember when she felt asleep. It has been a dreamless night and she was glad for that.

She looked at the clock again and remembered… Eun Mi needed her breakfast. Her daughter was an early riser and she always eats breakfast at 8:00 o clock; her little girl must be hungry.

She moved out of bed when she heard her daughter laughing again, she could hear a lot of noise coming from the kitchen as she slowly went down the stairs. She turned the corner to find something that left her cold in her spot with regret.

Eun Mi was sitting in the kitchen counter laughing her heart out, watching how Yonghwa flipped what looked like a hotcake in the pan on the stove. He was doing some crazy moves; it looked like something taken out of a Power Ranger plus Dragon Ball remake… He looked so silly, but the look he gave Eun Mi as she fell to the side grabbing her stomach giggling without control was the thing that left her cold in her spot. He looked so pleased watching his daughter laugh, like he was proud of himself and her… He looked at her with so much love.

_'God, What I have done'_ though Seohyun to herself as she was trying to keep calm… She could wish for time to turn back, but it was not going to happen. She turned around thinking about going back to her room to try to calm herself, but she heard Yonghwa calling her name.

"Seohyun, Good Morning"

She took a deep breath and turned around with a bright smile "Good Morning, Yonghwa"

"Omma!" said Eun Mi extending her arms. She wanted to be carried.

Seohyun walked to her daughter and lifted her from the kitchen counter. She planted a kiss on her cheek as she gave her a bear hug. "Good Morning my princess, how are you today?"

"Good Morning Omma" said Eun Mi as she kissed Seohyun is cheek back. "Yonghwa-shi was showing me how to make hotcakes"

"I can see that" said Seohyun as she wiped some flour from her daughter is face. She noticed that Eun Mi didn't call him Ajusshi anymore. "Were you trying to make yourself a hotcake too?" asked Seohyun as she caressed her daughter is hair. "You have flour in your hair too, Chongmal, What I am going to do with you?" said Seohyun pretending to be angry but failing miserably.

Eun Mi just laughed she could see through her Omma is silly side.

"Breakfast is ready" said Yonghwa as he placed a plate full of hotcakes on the table.

"Ok, Eun Mi go wash your face and your hands" said Seohyun as she placed her daughter in the floor. She watched her daughter run out of the kitchen followed by Beet. She turned around to catch Yonghwa watching her "Good Morning" was the only thing that managed to leave her mouth. '_Stupid Seohyun'_ She thought to herself she have sounded breathless not calm and collected as she should be.

He approached her holding in one of his hands a plate full of octopus-shaped sausages "You have been crying" said Yonghwa looking at her. Without thinking she touched her face "Eun Mi told me" He moved to the table and placed the plate there.

"She was sleep she can't know" said Seohyun calmly while holding his gaze.

"Children are very susceptible to the most little things" said Yonghwa looking her intently "I have not been a father for long but I know Eun Mi is a bright girl and for what she have told me, I know she worries a lot about you" Yonghwa took a deep breath, what he was going to say was not easy "She knows about you crying at night and I am not talking about yesterday only…" He looked how Seohyun paled "This is not healthy for her… Whatever issues we have between us, must be put aside for the sake of Eun Mi. We should be able to reach some kind of arrangement."

Seohyun was stunned to silence Eun Mi knew? But she has never told her anything… Her world was beginning to spin, she needed to sit down. She walked to the table and sat herself in the chair closer to her. She have stopped listening to him, she was more worried about her daughter, her little girl was worried about her, but she was so little, she shouldn't be living worried about anything.

Yonghwa watched how pale she looked as she sat down in the table; he moved around the kitchen and put a glass of cold water in her hand. She drank it without looking at him. He could tell she was deep in thought but he needed answers "She told me her father sent her letters, but he forgot to write to her during her last birthday" If it was possible Seohyun looked paler than before.

"I forgot" said Seohyun looking at him with her eyes full of tears. "I… I was so worried about what she said in her message to her dad, that I forgot and then I began to plan our return to Korea…" Seohyun felt some tears slip down her cheeks "I didn't…. How I couldn't tell she was suffering because of that? My own daughter was…" Abruptly Seohyun stood up and began to walk out of the kitchen "I need your computer, I will write that letter right now"

Yonghwa grabbed her arm before she could walk out of the kitchen. "You are not going to solve this like that… The lies must stop now Seohyun… No more lying to my daughter" said Yonghwa strongly; his grip over her arm telling her he was not joking about this matter. "Do you understand me Seohyun? The lies will end today"

Eun Mi returned before she could muster an answer. Yonghwa let go of her arm and she walked to the sink while telling to Eun Mi "Eun Mi remember just to pick what you are going to eat" she opened the tap and let the water run over her open palms taking away the collected stress. She splashed some water over her face and when she turned around she found Yonghwa serving a glass of orange juice to Eun Mi.

She sat in silence and watched as Yonghwa began to make some silly remarks with the octopus-shaped sausages. For what she could tell the octopuses were fighting over who was going to be eaten first. Eun Mi was laughing her heart out again, she was glad her daughter was enjoying her time with her father. Yonghwa knew how to keep her entertained, laughing and happy as children should be.

Yes, the lies must end… She understands that… But how to face him with the truth _'Oh Yonghwa do you remember that time you almost die in the hospital because you were poisoned, well that was because a crazy fan of mine was after you… and he returned when I got pregnant and I had to run out of the country because I was afraid for the life of our daughter and your safety'_ Yeah that sounded great… Every time she thought about that, she was more afraid of what could happen after he knows the truth…She didn't regret what she did, she did it for him, she moved out of his life because she loved him that much… Still love him that much and she had to think about the safety of their daughter too.

Too much have happened in so little time… But watching her daughter laughing merrily with her father made it all better. She was glad of her decision to come back to Korea. She just needed the strength to tell him the truth and be prepared for his reaction.

* * *

"Who wants to go to the park?" asked Yonghwa as he stood up from his chair in the living room. Seohyun and Eun Mi were sitting in the couch. They have been watching Tangled (It was Eun Mi's favorite movie) and the final credits were just showing up. The movie have been funny but not for his taste.

"Me!" said Eun Mi as she jumped from the couch. "Omma can we go?" asked Eun Mi hopefully to her mother.

"The park is just a block away" said Yonghwa looking at Seohyun.

"Well, I guess we can go" said Seohyun standing up from the couch "Beet needs his walk too"

"I will get his leash" said Eun Mi as she ran up the stairs.

"Bring your jacket" said Seohyun as she watched her daughter running up the stairs "and don't run inside the house"

"You are really a typical mother" said Yonghwa as he watched Seohyun. "Is like I am watching my own Omma saying exactly those things to me"

"It will come to you in time" said Seohyun as she grabbed her jacket from the rack in the coat closet near the front door. She handed Yonghwa is jacket too. "All my mother told me came quite handy while dealing with Eun Mi"

"It was difficult" said Yonghwa in a low voice. Just a quiet statement

She looked at him directly "Yes it was, but I don't regret it. I love my daughter and I just want her to be safe"

"Safe from what?" asked Yonghwa catching the falter in her voice as she talked about keeping Eun Mi safe.

She stayed in silence and when he decided to press her for an answer Eun Mi came back with Beet, the leash in place. The little black dog was moving his tail happily he knew what the leash meant, it meant outside.

They walked in silence to the park it was a little cloudy but it felt nice, once in the park they decided to walk around for a while. A few times Eun Mi wandered away with Beet but soon after she came back. She liked to explore, Yonghwa could tell from the way she keep running from one corner to the other, asking about everything.

After their leisure walk they decided to go to the children's playground. Eun Mi left Yonghwa in charge of Beet as she ran to play in the sand box with the other kids. They sat down in a bench while they watched their daughter play. "She is very social" said Seohyun to Yonghwa as they settle down, with Beet tightly secured to the leg of the bench… The poor dog was looking longingly at Eun Mi playing in the park. "She got that from you" said Seohyun looking at her hands in her lap "You know I am not a social person, but she is different, wherever she goes she makes friends easily, she inherited your way with people"

Yonghwa just smiled. He kept looking at his daughter as she began to talk with one of the girls that were making a sand castle in the sand box. "You have done well Seohyun, she is a great child" He looked at her and their gazes encountered each other "Thank you"

"For what?" asked Seohyun breathlessly, Yonghwa was looking at her with so much intensity.

"For doing such a great job raising our daughter on your own…" He laughed bitterly "Not that I am happy with all the lost time, but I am glad you are her mother. You have done a great job Seohyun"

Time passed, but their heartbeats stilled in that moment. It was time… "Yonghwa I…" But the moment was lost with the cry of a baby and the sound of breaking glass. They looked to their right and found a woman trying to deal with a baby and the broken milk bottle in the floor.

Seohyun stood immediately and ran to help the lady; she didn't look a lot older than her. "I am sorry" said the lady trying to bend down to collect the broken glasses. She talked in a very strange Korean accent, she looked foreign.

"Don't worry" said Seohyun as she approached her "I will clean this"

"Thank you" said the lady this time in English.

"You're welcome" answered Seohyun back in English as she began to collect the glass pieces. "I will have this clean in a moment; it could be dangerous for the kids that play around here"

"You speak English!" asked the lady surprised as she stopped what she was doing "Thank you God" said the lady as she took out of her bag another baby bottle. She gave the bottle to her son and the crying stopped "I am so glad you speak English, my husband is Korean but we have been living in America since we got married 7 years ago and as you can see I have difficulties speaking in Korean, I was going to take classes but with the baby it have been difficult…" She stopped when she looked the startled look on Seohyun is face. "I am sorry, I talked to much, but I have not been able to talk to anyone aside my husband for months" she maneuvered the baby and extended one hand "My name is Carmen"

"Seohyun" responded Seohyun as she shook the lady is hand "Nice to meet you Carmen-shi"

They were interrupted by Yonghwa is arrival "Do you need help?" asked Yonghwa to Seohyun.

"Can you bring newspaper and a plastic bag" said Seohyun while looking up at him "This could be dangerous if we left this here"

"Be right back" said Yonghwa as he began to walk to his house.

Carmen watched as Seohyun finished pilling the glass to the side. "Thank you again" said Carmen "I am sorry for the mess"

"Don't worry, we just have to wait for the newspaper and plastic bag to throw this away" Seohyun stood up and sat beside Carmen watching her baby. "He is so handsome" said Seohyun while watching the little baby in Carmen is arms.

"He looks just like his father and the man can't stop bragging about it, don't you feel sometimes your husband drive you crazy. The other day…" Carmen was saying but was stopped by Seohyun is sudden outburst.

"I am not married!" even Seohyun was surprised with her high pitch response.

"So the man with you right now…?" said Carmen carefully, she didn't want to upset her new found friend, she needed someone to talk.

"A friend. We are staying in his place for a while just that" said Seohyun looking at her daughter playing in the sand box.

"Who is your daughter?" asked Carmen changing the topic, knowing that husband issues were a difficult topic.

"The one with the pink jacket in the sand box" said Seohyun smiling "Her name is Eun Mi, she is 4 years old"

"How nice!" said Carmen cheerfully "And she is playing with my little Sun, she is 4 too what a happy coincidence… It looks like they are becoming fast friends"

"Yes, I am glad" said Seohyun smiling.

In that moment Yonghwa returned with the bag and paper, she was going to stand up to continue with the cleaning but he surprised her by saying "Don't worry I will do it"

"I haven't seen you around here before" said Carmen making conversation with Seohyun as she sat down beside her again.

"We just got back from Boston this weekend" said Seohyun while looking at Yonghwa working with the glass. She was surprised with his kind gesture.

"Really, how exciting, I guess you are going to be busy looking for schools to enroll Eun Mi"

"Yes, I was planning to go this week to see the schools around here" said Seohyun looking at Carmen. "I have all her papers in order and I know we are a little late for enrolling her but I hope it will not be difficult to find her a school."

"Don't worry I have the solution for you, I went through the same problem, but in the end we found this little kindergarten that was just great" said Carmen enthusiastically "Take my phone write your email and I will send you all the information from the other schools I visited and Sun's current school, I am sure you will love it… Great teachers, small number of students per class, and a great curriculum"

"That is so nice of you" said Seohyun as she grabbed Carmen is phone. She gave her number and email address.

"All done" said Yonghwa in English as he grabbed the plastic bag to throw it away. He has been listening to their conversation. He had totally forgotten that school has already begun and they needed to find a school for Eun Mi.

"Oh, Thank you so much, I am so sorry for the bother, sir" said Carmen bowing a little.

"It was not a problem" said Yonghwa smiling down at her "But please don't call me sir, it makes me feel old" said Yonghwa smiling "My name is Jung Yonghwa"

"Oh, thank you Mr. Yonghwa. My name is Carmen" said Carmen smiling at him. The man looked like a nice guy. "By the way what time it is?"

Yonghwa looked at his clock "Almost 6 o clock"

"Oh! I must run I need to prepare dinner" said Carmen as she began to pack her things. She put the baby back in the baby car and grabbed her bag "Sun is time to go home darling" screamed Carmen in the direction of the playground.

"Do you need help?" asked Yonghwa concerned, looking at the lady handling a baby car and a big bag over her shoulder.

"Don't worry my house is the one in the corner" said Carmen as she watched her daughter approaching them accompanied by Eun Mi. "Sun my love, you made a new friend?"

"Yes mama, her name is Eun Mi" said Sun happily to her mother.

"Oh hello, nice to meet you" said Carmen to Eun Mi.

"What do we do when we meet someone?" said Seohyun to Eun Mi while caressing her daughter is hair.

Eun Mi bowed and said "Nice to meet you, Sun's Omma"

"What a nice girl" said Carmen happily "But call me Carmen, Sun say hello to Eun Mi's mother"

"Nice to meet you, Eun Mi's Mama"

"Nice to meet you too Sun, but call me Seohyun" said Seohyun smiling.

"And this man is their friend" said Carmen pointing in Yonghwa is direction "Mr. Yonghwa" Sun just waved her hand in his direction, she looked a little shy. "She is just shy. It was nice meeting you, hope to see you again soon; I have to run now… I will send you the info."

With a last wave they watched Carmen almost run to her house. "She is a nice woman" said Seohyun as she watched Yonghwa freeing Beet from the leg of the bench.

"Yes, she looks like a nice lady" said Yonghwa as he grabbed Beet is leash. "It is getting late we need to get back too"

Seohyun just nodded and grabbed Eun Mi is hand. "Do you have fun today?" asked Seohyun to her daughter.

"Yes Omma" said Seohyun smiling to her mother. "Can we come back tomorrow, I promised Eun Mi to play with her tomorrow"

"We will see" said Seohyun, knowing that probably they were coming again the next day. "We will see"

* * *

Last night Carmen have send her the information as she has promised and she had spend the night reviewing the schools, she had talked with Yonghwa and they have agreed on visiting the one that Carmen recommended, it was the one that looked the best around this area. Yonghwa have been pleased to participate in the decision, and she was glad to have someone to discuss her concerns over Eun Mi is education.

So first thing in the morning she have made an appointment and now they were here finishing the guided tour around the little school, she have looked at it and she have loved it. It looked cozy and the children in class looked like they were having fun… At this age it was imperative for Eun Mi is development to play more to develop her abilities. She had read about that.

She looked at the man beside her, he has insisted on accompany her and she knew they have been recognized by the school staff, but she have asked for discretion from the principal. Sooner or later the news were going to be out, but she was hoping for the really really really later part.

In the last leg of the visit, they let Eun Mi stay in the class were she was going to stay to see if she was comfortable. She looked through the window as her daughter was presented by the teacher to the rest of the class. He looked like a really nice man and his assistant looked like a nice lady too. It was the same feeling as the first time she left Eun Mi in maternal school when she was three… She have been alone watching from the window, having problems to move away, while her daughter was having the time of her life making new friends.

Her little princess was all grown up and she couldn't help but cry a little… She was startled out of her thoughts when she felt Yonghwa is hand grabbing her hand. She looked at him and she could see he had his eyes red from holding back tears… She could understand the feeling too well. She gave him a pat in the chest with her free hand and moved back to look through the window. Eun Mi has found Sun in the same class and the two of them were happily talking while coloring a picture the teacher has given them.

"Does she really need to go to school?" asked Yonghwa to her "We can always home school her, you will be a great teacher"

Seohyun smiled at him "Don't worry you will get over it"

"This feeling disappears?" asked Yonghwa puzzled.

"No, it gets worst with the years" He looked horrified, she smiled a little more "But as her parents we need to let her go, let her experience life on her own" She looked back at her daughter becoming the center of attention, the kids were gathering around her desk… She really was good with people, just like her father always charismatic. "I think you need to be more worried about the whole bunch of prospects she is going to have" Seohyun laughed merrily watching his shocked expression; he looked a little pale too. She patted his chest again.

"She is going to be a nun" said Yonghwa with conviction.

Seohyun just laughed. They spend a little more time watching their daughter until they were called to the principal is office. They have agreed on enrolling Eun Mi in the school.

Seohyun have brought all the papers and was asked to fill some forms. "Please add the information as stated in her birth certificate" asked the principal is assistant as she helped Seohyun with the forms, she was reading the birth certificate. "Oh, there is no father registered" said the woman a little too loud for comfort.

Yonghwa stilled in his seat, beside her. She couldn't look at him "Is there a problem with that?" asked Seohyun sharply to the woman, daring her to say something else.

"No, No problem Mrs. Seo" said the lady as she collected all the papers hurriedly "I will take care of the rest, just fill the contact information in case of emergency"

She filled her information in the first line and was thinking about putting Tiffany as the second contact, when Yonghwa grabbed the paper and just filled his information in. Without saying anything he handed the paper to the lady.

"Classes will be over in 5 minutes, if you wish you could talk with Eun Mi is class teacher" said the lady politely, keeping her tone low, she has screwed before with that comment, she needed to keep calm to not mess again. But it was too much to her nerves to have THE Seo Joo Hyun a.k.a. Seohyun Ex-Maknae of the most powerful girl group of Asia; and THE Jung Yonghwa leader of the hottest band that has crossed the music industry in the last ten years. And to put the cherry on top of the cake, THE Seo Joo Hyun was enrolling in their school her 4 year old daughter, wasn't that around the time she disappeared… And the only reason for THE Jung Yonghwa to be here with her must be because he is the father… It all added. She needed to tell someone but her boss would kill her… She was spazzing so much in her insides, they were real after all!

"Yes we will like to talk to him" said Yonghwa in his most serious tone. "We will wait outside" said Yonghwa as he helped Seohyun to stand up from her seat. The lady stood up bowing to them "And Miss, I hope this encounter keeps itself between the walls of this school, we talked with the principal about this and we did ask for the outmost discretion over this matter, I don't want to press running over my daughter is school, because someone couldn't keep quite." Yonghwa looked at her through narrowed eyes. "Is that clear"

"Y… Yes sir" said the girl a little scared. He just confirmed the little girl was his daughter. She will need to take this secret to her grave. She was sorry for her fellow goguma friends.

"Good" said Yonghwa as he guided Seohyun outside the office.

Once outside they didn't need to wait long, soon the school bell announced the end of classed and they were received inside the classroom as the children make their way to the exit and their waiting parents and school buses.

Seohyun approached her daughter coloring a book in one of the desk. "Do you like your class?" asked Seohyun to her daughter as she caressed her hair.

"Yes, I like it a lot" said Eun Mi happily "The teacher is funny and Sun is in the same class with me"

"I am glad you liked it" said Yonghwa as he patted Eun Mi is head.

The teacher ran inside after delivering the children to their parents and transports "Sorry for the wait" said the man as he extended his hand to them. They moved to the front of the class to meet him halfway, Yonghwa shook his extended hand first and then Seohyun. "My name is Park DongHo. Nice to meet you" said the man bowing a little too each one of them.

_'He looks like a nice guy'_ though Seohyun assessing her daughter is new teacher. It was imperative to know the person who was going to be in charge of her daughter, so she placed on her most charming smile; the one she knew could open any door for her and told him. "You must love kids for taking such a fulfilling career as a teacher DongHo-Shi…" said Seohyun smiling her 1000 watts smiles to him. "Oh, sorry can I call you by your name?" asked Seohyun politely bowing shyly to him.

"Of course, of course, Joo Hyun-shi" said the man totally taken by her smile. "Or should I call you Seohyun-shi?" asked the man smiling handsomely at her too. _'He has a nice aura around him' _thought Seohyun as she looked at the man in front of her. He began to turn red when he watched the dirty look Yonghwa was giving him.

"You can call me as you like… what it is more easy for you" said Seohyun calmly, smiling a little at his flustered reaction for been so informal with her and must probably because of Yonghwa is killer look "So, how long have you been teaching?" asked Seohyun to keep the conversation going.

The man coughed a little and said "I have been teaching for ten years, it is my live is work, I love children. They are so full of life and joy, they are clay in their parents is hands just waiting to be shaped and molded" said DongHo passionately, she could tell the man loved his job. "And I am just glad when their parents put their trust in us to help them shape their children into good people for the future."

"That is such a nice thought" said Seohyun happily she was impressed with the man. "It is really nice"

He turned read. He was cute too. "Sorry, I sometimes get carried away" said the man as he ran his hand through his hair. He smiled at her again and told her "Don't worry Seohyun-shi your daughter is in good hands"

Yonghwa looked at the interaction; he wanted to break something really badly, preferably the teacher is face. It was like he wasn't even there and to top it all Seohyun couldn't stop smiling at the man… Oh he was pissed… He was beyond pissed. "I am here too" said Yonghwa sharply to the teacher, the man flinched a little and Yonghwa was happy about that. "I have a few questions for you too…"

The next ten minutes Seohyun watched how Yonghwa drilled the poor teacher. After a while, it was getting painful to watch so she said loudly "Eun Mi are you hungry?" that stopped Yonghwa is drilling of the poor teacher.

Eun Mi ran back to her mother and told her "Yes, Omma"

"Ok, we will be going soon" said Seohyun to her daughter "Say Goodbye to Mr. Park"

"Goodbye Teacher Park" said Eun Mi as she bowed to him.

The teacher dropped too his knees to be at level with her. "Goodbye Eun Mi be a good girl, we will wait for you to begin classes next week" He extended his hand and Eun Mi shook it back. The teacher stood up and extended his hand to Yonghwa "Nice meeting you"

Yonghwa shook his hand back "It was our pleasure"

The teacher extended his hand to Seohyun and smiled at her, she returned his smile "Nice to meet you Seohyun-shi hope to see you again soon." His grateful smile told her he has noticed she have saved his neck.

"Hope to see you again too" said Seohyun politely. She bowed and walked out of the classroom hand in hand with Eun Mi. He hadn't lost her touch.

The ride back to the house would have been spend in a death silence if not for Eun Mi talking endlessly about how she liked her new school and her new friends and her new teacher and her continuous question of why she couldn't go back to school the next day. She had talked with Yonghwa earlier and he has asked her to let him spend this week with his daughter. But Eun Mi couldn't know that, so she excused the issue by stating that they needed to buy her uniform and other school things… That calmed her a little for the rest of the day.

By dinner time, Yonghwa is brooding was totally crazy, he just looked at her through narrowed eyes, without saying anything. It was getting a little uncomfortable but she didn't say anything, not went she was cooking dinner and he was playing go stop with Eun Mi in the kitchen table. She had felt his eyes drilling the back of her head the whole time. When she served the dinner he didn't say a single word and by the end of it, Seohyun was getting pissed too by his behavior.

The silent treatment lasted until she came back from her room, were she just put Eun Mi to bed. She found him waiting for her sitting on one of the chair in the kitchen table. Well, she though he was waiting for her because the pile of dishes was the same as before and he didn't look like he was going to help anytime soon.

She ignored him and walked to the sink to wash the dishes, she was quietly working not minding his brooding aura until she felt his arms circling her waist. She was so startled by his action that she dropped the plate she was washing into the sink making a lot of noise.

Without saying anything she felt him kissing her on the neck, running his lips up and down over the sensitive skin of her pulse, it was so sudden but it felt so good… "Wha… What are you doing?" asked Seohyun breathlessly moving her head to the side to give him more access to her neck.

"Kissing your neck" said Yonghwa huskily as he bite the lobe of her ear.

"I… I… I know that, but why?" said Seohyun trying to move away, but he pressed his body more firmly over her trapping her against the sink and his body.

"Because I can" said Yonghwa as he suddenly turned her around, pressing her body to the sink, their lips just a few inches apart. She felt so good between his arms, she was so soft and warm, all woman and just for him "And because I want to" said Yonghwa as he moved closing the distance that separated their lips… He kissed her hungrily it was not something calm and sweet as it used to be, it was a kiss full of need and emotion, he pressed his lips to hers, running his tongue over her bottom lip, biting it, making her gasp from pain to gain entrance to her mouth, to run his tongue inside it and clash their tongues together in and endless battle of power. It was definitely NOT calm and sweet as before, he wanted her to surrender to him; to show her who was in charge.

Their battle continued for a while neither of them giving up, Seohyun was fighting him back with all her might, grabbing his neck, running her hands through his hair, just the way he loved it. Sucking his tongue trying to make him surrender to her, but it only ignited him even more, he pressed himself more firmly against her and kissed her more hungrily until she was the one to turn away her face fighting for air, her breathing accelerated as he continued to kiss her down her throat.

This was just too much. She could feel one of his hands running up her side a few more inches and he will be caressing her aching breast. It was so close and she couldn't help to let a moan escape her lips, just thinking about it. "Why are you doing this?" asked Seohyun before she could regret it.

"You were flirting with him" said Yonghwa as he looked at her in the eyes. "I won't tolerate it"

A few seconds ago she has been feeling all hot and willing but now all that raw need just transformed into pure rage. _'How dare him, are we living in medieval ages and nobody told me! How dare him!' _"Who do you think you are?" asked Seohyun really pissed. "I am not a toy with which you can play anytime you feel like it" She pushed his chest but he was stronger. "I am not playing Yonghwa let me go"

"It is not going to happen" said Yonghwa as he grabbed her neck and began to kiss her again. Seohyun was fighting back but after a while she surrendered to his kiss. The kiss became calmer, just light caresses and deep sighs… How he missed kissing her like this. When his pride was appeased by her surrender, little by little he began to slow the kiss until it stopped completely. He looked down and found Seohyun looking at him intensely and before he could say anything she slapped him. He was so stunned that he moved back. "Why did you do that for?"

"That Mister, if for you to think again before kissing me without my permission" said Seohyun pushing him away, he moved a step back. "Secondly, think again if you think I am part of your property, I am here just for Eun Mi, nothing more" she pushed him away again and he moved another step back. "Thirdly, you are a bastard, so because your little macho ego was bruised you think you could come and just kiss me to try to teach me a lesson" she pushed him again and he felt down in the kitchen chair he was using before. "You are wrong if you think I will let myself be manipulated by you, Jung Yonghwa" She moved closer and rested her right knee between his legs on the chair. "You mister are going to be sorry about this" she pointed each word pressing her index finger into his chest. She have made her statement clear, she was proud of herselft.

But before she could move away, he grabbed her by the neck and pulled her down for a deep kiss, she was struggling again but ended losing to his intense kissing. She hated herself for that, but it felt so good. His tongue running over her lips; His hand moving under her shirt, up to her breast caressing her over her lace bra. She heard him groan deep in his throat as his hand touched the thin material. He liked it. She liked it too. She draped her arms around his neck as she deepened the kiss, this position gave her advantage and he was willing to play. With leisure she pushed her tongue into his mouth making him groan again. She smiled to herself knowingly.

Then he moved his mouth down her side to kiss her neck again; he loved to kiss her there. He always gets the most amazing responses from her and today was not the exception. He moved his mouth to her ear and whispered huskily "You look so hot when you are angry… Seohyun-ah"

Before she could muster an answer he grabbed her leg that was between his legs and lifted it to the other side… So before she knew it she was straddling him, their bodies as close as before. She could feel his raw need pressing against her, she moved a little and he groaned deep in his throat and before she knew better he was kissing her again, things were escalating out of proportion but she couldn't help it, she pushed her hands through his hair, down his chest up his shirt, feeling his hot skin getting hotter with her touch. She knew she was driving him crazy and was sure of it when he grasped her hips with his both hands and pressed her down as he pushed up. She gasped in surprise the first time, the next time she moaned in pleasure… It felt so good, she wanted more, so much more…

But the moment stopped when she heard her daughter crying. She lifted herself up from him and ran up the stairs as she arranged her shirt back into place. She turned on the lights of the room and found Eun Mi sitting in bed crying. "What happened my love?" asked Seohyun as she hugged her daughter. Eun Mi couldn't talk she was crying so much. She heard the moment Yonghwa entered the room but she didn't dare to look at him. After a long while Eun Mi calmed enough "Can you tell Omma what happened?"

"I had a bad dream" said Eun Mi between sobs as she hugged her Omma with all her might.

"Can you tell Omma what it was about?" said Seohyun as she dried the tears from Eun Mi is face.

"A bad man came and took you away" said Eun Mi as she began to cry in earnest again.

"Oh don't cry my love it was a bad dream" said Seohyun caressing her daughter is hair. "See I am here with you, no one is going to take me away from you ever…" said Seohyun as she settle her daughter back in bed "I will get you a glass of water" said Seohyun trying to stand up from the bed but Eun Mi grabbed her shirt.

"Omma don't go" said Eun Mi in a very small voice.

Seohyun looked up to find Yonghwa looking at them intently. He hadn't said anything and she wasn't sure what to say, he solved the problem by saying "I will get her a glass of water"

A few moments later he returned, but Eun Mi has fallen sleep already. Yonghwa approached the bed and left the glass of water on the night table. He looked at her intensely "We need to talk… We will talk tomorrow" said Yonghwa in a whisper to Seohyun, she knew what issue they needed to talk and she didn't knew what to think about what almost happened in that kitchen. Blame the hormones; she was in those days of the month. He extended his arm and ruffled Eun Mi is hair, before moving out of the room, turning off the light in his way out.

Things couldn't get worst than this… She just hoped it couldn't. The mess she had created was bad enough to make it worst now… She needed to think what she is going to do… She needed to think a lot.

**Author's Note**:

I wanted to dedicate a chapter to Eun Mi and her father… Awwww they are so cute together. The next chapter is going to be pretty intense; things are going to begin to move really fast from here, the end is around the corner I think four chapters or even less… Don't really know, but the end is coming.

Hope you liked the father daughter interaction… They are just awwww material all the way.

I wanted to write this chapter, jealous Yonghwa is so irrational in my head I just love him… And he get us an intense kissing session, too bad Eun Mi had a bad dream about a bad man taking her Omma away… This family just makes me go all awwww

I have a problem, in a month I have to present my master degree's final test, this and the oral presentation is the last step before I can get my Master. I will be really busy the next few weeks studying and I don't want to keep you hanging because I know it is awful, but I can't promise steady updates from now on. Sorry! But my work and this coming test is going to kill me slowly the next few weeks. Hope you can understand.

Well good luck to all, thanks for reading and just don't kill me yet. Wait until I finish the fic then you can throw all the gogumas you want in my direction. XD

Bye!


	10. Chapter 10

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Last Episode…**

_"I had a bad dream" said Eun Mi between sobs as she hugged her Omma with all her might._

_"Can you tell Omma what it was about?" said Seohyun as she dried the tears from Eun Mi is face._

_"A bad man came and took you away" said Eun Mi as she began to cry in earnest again._

_"Oh don't cry my love it was a bad dream" said Seohyun caressing her daughter is hair. "See I am here with you, no one is going to take me away from you ever…" said Seohyun as she settle her daughter back in bed "I will get you a glass of water" said Seohyun trying to stand up from the bed but Eun Mi grabbed her shirt._

_"Omma don't go" said Eun Mi in a very small voice._

_Seohyun looked up to find Yonghwa looking at them intently. He hadn't said anything and she wasn't sure what to say, he solved the problem by saying "I will get her a glass of water"_

_A few moments later he returned, but Eun Mi has fallen sleep already. Yonghwa approached the bed and left the glass of water on the night table. He looked at her intensely "We need to talk… We will talk tomorrow" said Yonghwa in a whisper to Seohyun, she knew what issue they needed to talk and she didn't knew what to think about what almost happened in that kitchen. Blame the hormones; she was in those days of the month. He extended his arm and ruffled Eun Mi is hair, before moving out of the room, turning off the light in his way out._

_Things couldn't get worst than this… She just hoped it couldn't. The mess she had created was bad enough to make it worst now… She needed to think what she is going to do… She needed to think a lot._

**WARNING! – This chapter contains very explicit content… Yes, it is what you are thinking, you have been warned. I don't want to traumatize anyone… I know underage gogumas are reading this, I can't control what you read, but you are big enough to decide… You have been warned.**

**Chapter – 10**

She was tired, yesterday they have expend the day out in a shopping spree, Yonghwa have been totally, completely, definitely unmanageable. The man in question has insisted on buying all the things that Eun Mi needed for school, that was not a problem, she didn't have a problem with that… The thing that made it difficult and exhausting, was that every time she selected something, he disagreed about it and then insisted and insisted and insisted on other thing until she just wanted to scream.

When she selected a light pink school bag for Eun Mi, he wanted the one with pink glitter… AND silver lining; when she wanted a nice white set of notebooks for Eun Mi, he wanted the fluorescent pink colored ones… and on and on and on they keep fighting, he have been his choding self to the max… But that have not been the worst, the worst was that Eun Mi have liked all of Yonghwa is selections when it have come down to make Eun Mi decide on what to get. He smirked stupidly at her all the way home and during dinner… She was so mad about his smug expression that she had gone to sleep early with Eun Mi. Their needed talk could stay on hold; she didn't want to put under perspective what almost happened in that kitchen yet… She wasn't sure either.

Today, today have been another ordeal, she have been awakened by a call from her father is business partner. He knew she was coming back, she have told him and he called hoping to have a meeting with her. What was supposed to be a nice regular meeting has become a five hour negotiation over business profits and other serious matters, he wanted to have his own firm, and she needed him, so after many hours of negotiations they have agreed on new terms over their partnership… She was tired, luckily Yonghwa have agreed to take care of Eun Mi for the day, they went out just God knows were, but luckily she hadn't have to worry about anything, Yonghwa and Eun Mi were getting closer by the minute and she was happy for that.

They have created a very deep bond in so little time, but she was not surprised by that, she has seen Yonghwa putting all his effort in making Eun Mi like him and trust him. And her daughter, she could tell her daughter loved him already, she was surprised to see how easily Eun Mi seek for his company. Their morning "mother/daughter" ritual has changed to "Yonghwa-shi is funny show" while making breakfast… She was having trouble adapting to this new figure in their life but any discomfort she felt over the matter, disappeared when she watched her giggling daughter's look of admiration directed to her father as he expertly flips a hotcake on the oven.

She was glad they were getting closer.

The taxi made its stop in front of Yonghwa is house, she looked outside the window, the weather looked terrible, but hopefully it will rain until later. She paid the man and gave her thanks as she stepped out of the car.

She looked up a stood there just watching his house, how much time could she keep on living there with him… Under the same roof… She was having a lot of trouble deciding what to do, she have come back to Korea with one goal in mind, reunite Eun Mi with her father… Her feelings were a second matter when it came down to Eun Mi is happiness. But she hadn't considered how much her feelings could be shaken again with just his presence. So many decisions so little time… She sighed deeply, she needed to prepare dinner. She began to walk up the path to the front door when she noticed that the mailbox was full, she took out the letters and entered the house.

She was greeted by a very happy Beet, the dog keep running from left to right and right to left just moving his tinny tail. As here unnies have told her, she really has come down to love the little thing. She bent down and scratched his head "You are such a good boy" said Seohyun as she kept scratching his head "Yes you are" she ended their little encounter and moved to the Yonghwa is study, he kept the place as a mini version of a recording studio, sound proof walls, several guitars in one corner, full floor to ceiling mirrors in the opposite wall, microphones and pianos on the other corner. A desk full of music scores and a note book with what looked like the beginning of a new song.

He really was a true musician. She dropped the envelopes in the desk but stopped death in her tracks when she looked at a very familiar type of letter… Her blood ran cold '_This is not happening again_' she closed her eyes tightly wishing it was just a figment of her imagination, but when she opened her eyes again, the dammed letter was still there, mocking her with its hand painted red rose in one of the corner and her initials at the front.

With shaking hands she grabbed the letter and opened it carefully, she knew what was coming but knowing didn't make it any better.

**_My Dear Goddess_**

**_So nice to have you back in Korea, I hope your time in Boston has been good for you, congratulations on your second master. You were first rank on your class, your intelligence stunt me. _**

**_That is why you are so perfect and deserve only the best. And that is what makes me wonder why you are staying with that man… It makes me angry and you know bad things could happen when I am angry._**

**_MOVE OUT! I don't want to repeat myself, just do it!_**

**_By the way, your daughter is so pretty just like you, I hadn't have a chance to see her before but look at the pictures I took, she is your exact replica, so pretty. Too bad her father is that man, but don't worry I had five years to get over that issue._**

**_You know what I am capable. Move out!_**

**_With Love, _**

**_Your most faithful fan_**

**_XXX_**

By the end of the letter her eyes were full of tears, she couldn't believe after all this time he will be back… When… How have he been keeping a track of her. Not even her unnies knew she has ended first of her class, she didn't like to brag about those things, it was just another title… She couldn't believe he has known that, and to think he have now seen Eun Mi… Her daughter… She have gone through so much, done so much to keep her daughter out of his reach and by bringing her back to Korea, she have dropped her on the eye of the storm.

She was shaking so much that she grabbed Yonghwa's chair and sat down slowly just trying to digest all this information… She read the letter again and with shaking hands grabbed the envelope, inside were several photos of her, Eun Mi and Yonghwa from the day they went to the park the first time, them outside Eun Mi 's school, yesterday in the mall a photo of Eun Mi grabbing Yonghwa's hand as she was looking through a rack of school uniforms.

The man has been following them for the last two days. She couldn't breathe properly; she needed to talk to someone. Hastily she looked inside her purse for her cell phone and called Hyoyeon.

"Unnie HE is back" said Seohyun without waiting for Hyoyeon is greeting.

"WHAT? Seohyun are you sure?" asked Hyoyeon concerned, she knew what her friend was talking about. They couldn't walk under this path again.

"Yes, he even sent me pictures of Eun Mi" said Seohyun trying to control her nerves, her voice in the verge of breaking down. The shock was so much she didn't know what to do; she was just a nervous wreck.

"You have to calm yourself Seohyun" said Hyoyeon trying to calm her friend, as nervous as she was she needed to make Seohyun focus. "Listen to me Seohyun; you have to tell Yonghwa about this?"

"But, he will know if I tell Yonghwa, that crazy man even knows I was in Boston, that I was the first of my class and about Eun Mi, If he have gone to this lengths, he could do a lot worst, I can't do that" said Seohyun in the verge of crying. What she could do?

"Seohyun listen to me, call the police" said Hyoyeon seriously "Seohyun are you listening, Call the police"

"I am afraid; a lot of things could go wrong" said Seohyun almost in a whisper.

"You can't be sure of that" said Hyoyeon slowly trying to get to her friend "Seohyun this have to stop, what you are going to do? Run away all your life? That is not a good life, not for you, not for your daughter, you have to stop this."

"I am really afraid, Unnie" said Seohyun sounding desperate.

"What are you going to do? Run to Boston again?" asked Hyoyeon now a little pissed with her friend.

"I can take Eun Mi away with me… I can do it tonight" said Seohyun sounding hopeful "I don't have to tell anyone where we are going, it will be just Eun Mi and me"

"Hyunie you are scaring me, you can't just disappear like that" said Hyoyeon concerned for her friend. The way she sounded was making a run chill to run up and down her back.

"Last time, very little people knew where I was going… This time no one have to know" said Seohyun more convinced this time. It sounded like the perfect plan, no one needed to know where they were going… No one.

"Seohyun listen to me, I will be in Korea as soon as possible, don't do anything stupid until I get there" said Hyoyeon worried, her friend was thinking something outrageous she couldn't let her do that. "Are you listening, Seohyun promise me you are going to stay in Korea, if you don't want to stay in Yonghwa's house, go to the dorm or my parents is house they will receive you"

"I can't involve more people in this mess" She didn't want to hurt anyone else, but what she could do, she didn't saw another way out. This was her problem she needed to deal with it on her own, to stop depending on others and just deal with it.

"Seohyun don't go!" said Hyoyeon almost begging "Please, Please stay in Korea we will be there as soon as possible. Trust me, just wait until the day after tomorrow" said Hyoyeon hurriedly, she needed to talk to Jungshin, Yonghwa will need to interfere; they couldn't let Seohyun disappear. "Promise me Seohyun"

"I will think about it" said Seohyun faintly.

"No, I will not accept that. Promise me Seohyun or I will look for you till the end of the world just to give you a good beating" said Hyoyeon with her best 'I am pissed' voice. The one that kept Jungshin in check.

Seohyun sighed deeply "I Promise" said Seohyun to appease her Unnie. But she would need to move fast if she wanted to be out of the country that night.

In Hyoyeon's ears that didn't sound promising but she will take whatever she could get. She needed to inform the rest of the girls; they needed to get back as soon as possible. "I trust your word Seohyun, wait for us. See you later, bye"

"Bye" said Seohyun as she ended the call. "Goodbye Unnie" She looked down at her lap and collected the letter and the photos in her hands, she stayed with her head low just looking at them for a while collecting the strength to do what she had decided to do. The tears have been freely flowing down for a while but she needed to calm herself.

With the back of her hand she dried her tears as she took a deep breath. She put the letter and the photos in the envelope and was standing up to walk out of the study but when she looked up, to her surprise she found Yonghwa standing in the door looking at her intensely. "Yonghwa I didn't know you were back" said Seohyun trying to calm herself keeping her heartbeat controlled, she needed to stay calm '_How long have he been there? How much he has listened?_' She moved to the door to try to get out but Yonghwa stopped her with his arm across the door, blocking her way out.

Yonghwa stood up to his full height and with lethal calmness said "_Where_ do you think you are going…"

* * *

He was totally exhausted. He didn't know dealing with children could be this draining, he have spend the whole day bonding with his daughter. After Seohyun left the house early in the morning he and Eun Mi have embarked in what he liked to call Father/Daughter bonding time. After watching together the morning cartoons, he has asked her what she wanted to do. To his surprise she wanted to go to the aquarium.

It have been a fun day in the aquarium but Eun Mi kept him running from one side of the aquarium to the other reading to her all the information that was displayed in each information box beside every exhibition. During the day in the aquarium the thing she had liked the most was the "Finding Nemo" themed part of the aquarium, she have keep calling each clown fish she saw as Nemo, today he has been presented to over one hundred different Nemos, but he wasn't complaining about it.

It has been fun and to watch his daughter is amazed face when in the interactive part of the park, one of the trainers has put a star on her hand… The look she gave him, it squeezed his heart in a good way, she looked at him with her eyes full of amazement and joy. It was like that moment in time was the most amazing moment of her life… If only she knew what a long road was ahead, but hopefully he will be there all the way for her.

They have comeback late in the afternoon and while passing by the park in the residential complex Eun Mi have watched Sun playing in the park, she have begged him to go to the park and he willingly have let her drag him to the park. He had sat beside Carmen to watch their daughters play, Carmen was a funny lady and unstoppable once she began to talk. That is how he has learned she was from Panama and married with her Korean husband in the US and they have just moved to the country and she was still adapting to the new language… He find her entertaining and it was nice to talk to someone that didn't knew how famous him or Seohyun were, but all this talk was making him dizzy, luckily Sun and Eun Mi approached them asking permission to play in the house with Sun's doll house (which she have receive as a birthday present, he needed to buy one for his daughter). Carmen has agreed and Yonghwa has managed to escape the meeting by saying that he needed to make a few business calls. Carmen has promise to call him to pick up Eun Mi later before dinner.

He has made his way home and was greeted by Beet once inside the house. He looked around and could heard Seohyun talking from his study. He was going there to say 'hi' when he listened to what she was saying…

"I am afraid; a lot of things could go wrong" said Seohyun almost in a whisper. He looked inside the room, her back was facing the door and she was so engrossed in her call that she didn't noticed he was there.

"I am really afraid, Unnie" said Seohyun sounding desperate. '_She must be talking to one of her sisters_' thought Yonghwa as he was listening; he was feeling bad for listening to her conversation and was going to move out of the room when he heard something that stopped him cold.

"I can take Eun Mi away with me… I can do it tonight" said Seohyun sounding hopeful "I don't have to tell anyone where we are going, it will be just Eun Mi and me". '_Was she planning to take Eun Mi away, what she was talking?_' He stayed in place listening intently to the conversation.

"Last time, very little people knew where I was going… This time no one have to know" said Seohyun more convinced this time. A great rage began to boil inside of him, she couldn't come back telling him he have a daughter and just take her away like nothing happened… She was mistaken if she thinks she could walk over him again… Not this time, this time their daughter was in the line and he was not giving back what he have just gained.

"I can't involve more people in this mess" '_and what a mess_' though Yonghwa while thinking of ways to deal with this… His utmost priority will be his daughter; he wouldn't let her take Eun Mi away… '_Not in a million years'_.

"I will think about it" said Seohyun faintly to the other person in the line… She sighed deeply "I Promise" He could tell she didn't sound convincing, whatever she was promising it was not going to be fulfilled, he could tell by the way her shoulders sagged.

"Bye" said Seohyun as she ended the call. "Goodbye Unnie" He looked her as she looked down at her lap and collected a paper and some photos in her hands, she stayed with her head low just looking at them, he have been running over all he has just heard and couldn't believe she will be capable of taking Eun Mi from him again.

He watched as she dried her tears with the back of her hand. Watched like in slow motion how she took a deep breath and stood up slowly from the chair, she was walking out of the study and he looked intently at her surprised look when she looked up. He noticed how she hurriedly put the envelope in her dress's pocket.

"Yonghwa I didn't know you were back" said Seohyun. He could tell she was thinking how long he have been there and how much he have listened, he have listened enough and it was pissing him badly.

She moved to the door to try to get out but Yonghwa stopped her with his arm across the door, blocking her way out. Yonghwa stood up to his full height and with lethal calmness said "_Where_ do you think you are going…" She moved a step back and he entered the room completely closing the door behind him. She wasn't going anywhere, he needed answers. "Answer me, Seo Joo Hyun where do you think you are going…"

By the way he was looking at her, she could tell he have listened enough. "I have decided to take Eun Mi with me back to USA"

"Over my death body" said Yonghwa with lethal calmness… Just like the calmness before the storm "I don't care what you are thinking, but don't you dare to assume that you can come back to tell me that I have a daughter, and then just disappear again without a word" He was really angry, how dare her to think she could take his child away, he approached her and watched with satisfaction how she backed away. "I don't have a problem to meet you with my lawyers at court… You have denied me my parental rights for the last four years, who do you think will look better before the judge?"

She was shaking not because Yonghwa is threats, she could meet him any day at the court room, but she didn't wanted that, she didn't want them to fight over Eun Mi is custody, but in this moment the only clear idea in her mind was to protect her daughter. The emotional fight was eating her inside out, but she needed to do what it was best in her mind and that was to not get anyone else hurt because of her. She needed to disappear.

"We will be there for a short while" said Seohyun trying to appease him.

"_You are lying_" said Yonghwa as he slammed his hand into the wall behind Seohyun, caging her between him and the wall. He was so angry that he was shaking, how dare her to lie to him, because he knew it was a lie by the way she avoided his gaze, she have never been able to lie and definitely not to him. He wanted answers. "Tell me the truth Seohyun, why do you want to run away?"

She didn't noticed how she got there, now she was between the wall and Yonghwa, the only exit looked like a million miles away; She felt trapped and with the way he was looking at her she knew she had nowhere to run. "You don't need to know" said Seohyun stubbornly. "You don't own me; I don't have to answer to you"

"We will see that" said Yonghwa as he grabbed her by the neck and kissed her with all his might, he wanted answers and he will get them one way or the other. His attack on her mouth was without mercy he wanted her total surrender to him, to show her who she belonged too.

She wanted to run away from him but she was so tired of running, she wanted him, she wanted to be with him, even if it was for only one last time… Even if her mind screamed at her not to let herself be taken away by him again, she couldn't control her response, she kissed him back with all her remaining strength, he draped his other arm around her waist and pressed her body between him and the wall. It felt so good to have him here within her arms, running her hands over his soft hair. Even if his kiss was full of desperate need and passion, even if his attack on her mouth was probably bruising her lips, it felt so good to fell that she belonged to someone and not was just alone… A few stolen moments were all she was asking…

Yonghwa could feel in every fiber of his body everyone one of Seohyun is caresses, he wanted her desperately, and he showed it to her through his kisses by sliding his tongue over her bottom lip by forcefully seek entrance to her mouth and ran his tongue inside until she moaned with need. He trapped her tongue and sucked it lightly making her moan again, it was music to his ears. But it was not enough, without thinking he bunched the hem of her dress up and ran his right hand over her left leg, lifting it to his hip showing her how much he wanted her.

He began to kiss her neck as he slowly began to move against her… Her little gasp and moans were all he needed, it was driving him crazy and every moan and every gasp make him rub harder, faster against her, but it was not enough it will never be enough… He wanted more.

Seohyun could feel Yonghwa is lips running hungrily over her neck, sucking in the right places, biting her, marking her… It felt so good. But it was not enough his clothes were getting on her way, she wanted to touch him, to run her hands over his skin, she wanted more, so much more. In one moment when Yonghwa pulled back a little, she grasped the moment to pull his shirt over his head, leaving her free access to touch him as much a she pleased. She could tell he liked it when she ran her hands over his back, by the way he groaned deep in his throat and pressed harder against her. The hand over her tight was pulling her closer tighter to him and she loved it.

His lips moved back to her lips, this time in a sensual caress, slow but full of meaning, each stroke, each clash of their tongues heightened their already burning bodies… He could tell she was enjoying his caress by the way her hips were grinding against his, she matched him in every stroke, she wanted more, he wanted more… So before he could regret it, he moved his hand higher up grasping her underwear to slide it down. She stopped moving for a few seconds, he was dreading her response but to his surprise she helped him to remove the garment all the way down.

He groaned with pleasure as he slid his hand between her legs and could feel for himself how wet she was, he began to slowly caress her as he continued to kiss her slowly, matching the movement of his hand with the kiss… He could tell she wanted more but he wanted to enjoy the moment it have been so long since they have been together… But Seohyun wasn't thinking the same; he could feel her hands fumbling with his belt and then the zipper of his jeans. And before he knew it she had him under her grasp. He groaned in pleasure as she began to slide her hand over him, the movement was making him crazy making him increase the pace they were having from a slow sensual caress to desperate need and hunger.

He grasped the hand that have been caressing him and draped it around his neck, while he positioned himself between her legs, he could feel her hot entrance and without thinking he slid himself inside her.

He groaned, she gasped. It have been sudden but she loved to feel him inside of her, feel him moving expertly inside of her, caressing her most secret places, she draped her arms securely around his neck as he continued to kiss her neck, while keeping an steady pace, it felt so good. She opened her eyes and was surprised with their reflection in the mirror before them, she could see how his muscles moved each time he pushed inside of her, how their sweaty bodies matched so well together, it was such an erotic image that even when she closed her eyes again she could see how the muscles in his back flexed as he pushed inside of her. It was so erotic that before she knew it she came, a deep moan escaped her as she hugged herself more firmly against Yonghwa her body trembling with the sudden release.

Yonghwa stopped for a few seconds to let her calm a little and then began the steady pace again, it was too much to her, she couldn't think, her legs keep trembling and if not for Yonghwa pressing her against the wall she was sure she would be a pool of goo in the floor. She couldn't take it; the heat was heightening again inside her as Yonghwa keep pushing himself inside her… "Yonghwa… I… Please…" She didn't know how to say it but he understood her.

With his other hand he grabbed her other leg and draped it around his waist too, now with her two legs around his waist the position took her by surprise "Hold me" said Yonghwa as he pushed deep inside her. She grasped him with all her might and before she could do anything else, he turned them around and walked a couple of paces to the desk. Papers went flying in all directions as Yonghwa sat her down in the desk, pushing away everything as he made her lie down on the desk. Once she was lying down he grasped her hips with his both hands and began a steady rhythm again. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the place where their bodies were joined, with each stroke it was getting difficult to control the impulse to move but he had a strong hold on her hips keeping her under his control.

"Seohyun look at me" she heard him say in a deep voice.

"I… I" Seohyun couldn't look at him, just the thought of watching him, watching her make her embarrassed.

Yonghwa slowed the pace of his rhythm, it make her moan in frustration… "Seohyun-ah look at me" said Yonghwa again in the deepest sexiest voice she have ever heard. This time she took enough courage to look at him. Their gazes clashed together and for a few seconds the only thing that mattered was the sound of their love making as they gazed intensely at each other is eyes. He looked at her delighted with the sight in front him, she was all shallow breaths, deep sight, a blush covering each corner of the skin he could see, her hair in disarray, pure perfection… "Did you miss me?" asked Yonghwa as he looked down at her, he could see the confusion in her eyes, he slowed the pace again. "Answer me Seohyun-ah did you miss me?" She bit her bottom lip, it made him jerk in his spot, but he was not going to stop until he got his answer. He withdraw almost completely from her and keep himself in her entrance, he could feel her trying to move under him, but his hold on her hips was strong. He smiled at her sexily "Did you miss me? Just say it Seohyun-ah I know you missed me your body is talking to me, but I want to hear it from your lips"

He was driving her crazy, she was so close and he decided to tease her, it was too much feeling him running up and down her entrance, she needed him inside of her so much. If he wanted an answer she will give it to him… She bitted strongly her lips before saying "Yes… Yes I missed you"

"That is my girl" said Yonghwa as he increased just a little his slow torture…

"Please Yonghwa" said Seohyun as she tried to move under him, bring him inside again.

"Not yet, what did you do when you were missing me the most?" asked Yonghwa slowly his voice almost a caress over her skin "Did you touch yourself?" She couldn't take it, she needed him. She bitted her bottom lip again trying to control the erotic image that crossed her mind; he was the one that taught her how to please herself. She couldn't talk she just nodded. "Show me" He looked at her confused expression and smiled sexily at her. "Show me how you pleased yourself Seohyun-ah"

He stated each word with a little nudge and before she knew it, her hands were unbuttoning the front of her dress, her hands caressing her breast over the silky material of her bra. She could hear him groaning his hot gaze running along her hands to the places she touched… She boldly ran her right hand down over her belly until it reached her pleasure point; she began to caress it, keeping the same rhythm Yonghwa was using. It made her moan in pleasure and she could see Yonghwa was pleased by the sight by the way his gaze was fixed in the place she was touching herself and how his grip on her hips increased.

It was the most erotic moment of her life. But it lasted just as few seconds, suddenly Yonghwa grabbed her left leg and draped it over his shoulder, while leaning forward and without notice he pushed himself deep inside her, the new position making her arch her back feeling him all the way in. He began a fast steady pace and it was making her crazy, she moved her hands over her head grasping the edge of the desk for support as Yonghwa kept his steady rhythm, it was pure madness but it felt so good. Her body felt hot and she could tell Yonghwa was reaching his limit too; it was so erotic to watch him with his eyes closed concentrating in keeping the pace, his sweat drenched chest glistening under the afternoon light… pure perfection. After a few more thrust, he put one of his hands in the desk for support leaning more deeply into her, with each nudge hitting her pleasure point, it was so much… With her hips she was trying to match his rhythm but she wanted him deeper and faster, he understood her need and increased the pace, taking them higher and higher until she screamed her release… Soon after Yonghwa was spilling himself inside of her groaning in pleasure…

Pure madness indeed, they looked deeply at each other after they regained their strength a silent question between them…

'_Now what?_'

**Author's note**:

Woahhhh that was intense… I hope I hadn't traumatized anyone, you were warned. Comments are appreciated, I have never write something as explicit as this…. I surprised myself, but their "love" is so intense that this is the only way I can describe their longing and their need… I don't know if you understand what I want to say… Just hope you liked it.

By the way, my final test was delayed two weeks, so it gave me time to finish this…. I will publish the other chapter tomorrow… wait for it! My OCD self cant left things unfinished, so I am hoping to finish this before I have to disappear to bury myself in books.

Comments are really appreaciated! Don't hate Seohyun too much we area almost at the end. I needed her stubborn self to create this situation.

See you soon, please comment!


	11. Chapter 11

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Last Episode…**

_"Not yet, what did you do when you were missing me the most?" asked Yonghwa slowly his voice almost a caress over her skin "Did you touch yourself?" She couldn't take it, she needed him. She bitted her bottom lip again trying to control the erotic image that crossed her mind; he was the one that taught her how to please herself. She couldn't talk she just nodded. "Show me" He looked at her confused expression and smiled sexily at her. "Show me how you pleased yourself Seohyun-ah" _

_He stated each word with a little nudge and before she knew it, her hands were unbuttoning the front of her dress, her hands caressing her breast over the silky material of her bra. She could hear him groaning his hot gaze running along her hands to the places she touched… She boldly ran her right hand down over her belly until it reached her pleasure point; she began to caress it, keeping the same rhythm Yonghwa was using. It made her moan in pleasure and she could see Yonghwa was pleased by the sight by the way his gaze was fixed in the place she was touching herself and how his grip on her hips increased._

_It was the most erotic moment of her life. But it lasted just a few seconds, suddenly Yonghwa grabbed her left leg and draped it over his shoulder, while leaning forward and without notice he pushed himself deep inside her, the new position making her arch her back feeling him all the way in. He began a fast steady pace and it was making her crazy, she moved her hands over her head grasping the edge of the desk for support as Yonghwa kept his steady rhythm, it was pure madness but it felt so good. Her body felt hot and she could tell Yonghwa was reaching his limit too; it was so erotic to watch him with his eyes closed concentrating in keeping the pace, his sweat drenched chest glistening under the afternoon light… pure perfection. After a few more thrust, he put one of his hands in the desk for support leaning more deeply into her, with each nudge hitting her pleasure point, it was so much… With her hips she was trying to match his rhythm but she wanted him deeper and faster, he understood her need and increased the pace, taking them higher and higher until she screamed her release… Soon after Yonghwa was spilling himself inside of her groaning in pleasure… _

_Pure madness indeed, they looked deeply at each other after they regained their strength a silent question between them…_

_'Now what?'_

**WARNING! – Again - This chapter contains very explicit content… Yes, it still is what you are thinking XD … You have been warned. The chapter after this is the last one… Welcome to a hell of a rollercoaster… Enjoy!**

**Chapter – 11**

Yonghwa slowly withdraw from her, holding her legs in the process to slowly put them down. He could see confusion in her eyes, hell he was feeling confused too, but one thing he was certain was that she craved for him as much as he craved for her, their physical attraction and the sexual tension between them was a palpable being. The way she responded to him, how their bodies molded perfectly together, how she gave herself to him completely, just as she have done before, trusting her body into his care. He couldn't look at her, it was making him want her again, her disheveled clothes and hair, the blush that tickle pink her skin, her heavy breathes and the way her tongue ran slowly over her dried lips, was too much for him, she was tempting him beyond reason without even trying. He needed to think. He needed to think how to handle her, how to handle this… He was clear in what he wanted; he wanted her with him, it was time to stop the running something was happening and he was going to find what.

He walked slowly to the window that looked over the side garden as he arranged himself, zipped his pants and put back his belt. He could see it had began to rain, the world looked chilled under the autumn rain and the atmosphere inside didn't looked much better. He looked through the reflection in the mirror how Seohyun slowly sat up in the desk and with shaking hands pulled down her skirt and began buttoning her dress. She was as shaken as him, his hands were trembling so much that he has to keep them inside his pants pocket, just to not show how affected he was with what just happened.

The silence was defining but she didn't know what to say, how to react. Her mind and body have never been in the same place when it came down to dealing with Yonghwa… Did she regret it? It will be a lie to tell she was sorry. His hot mouth running up and down her neck, his hot breath caressing her skin, his hands running over her thighs in a possessive way; the feeling of him inside of her, slowly filling her, making her crazy with need begging for more… The completeness of those stolen moments never cease to amaze her, it have always been the same with Yonghwa… With him everything felt perfect… It felt just right, no matter how crazy their impulses or the raw need for each other.

She was not sorry of what just happened, but how to deal with it. He has tilted her world out of its axis again. She has surrender completely to him and now what?... She was asking herself that same question. She finished buttoning her dress and grabbed enough courage to look in his direction. He was all male and perfect; she could see the remaining of sweat glistening his skin, running down his back, running slowly over each muscle indentation… She wanted so badly to run her hands over his back again… Suddenly she remember how they have looked in the mirror as he pushed inside of her, how the muscles of his back have moved with each thrust, she began to felt hot all over again and was caught in the act of ogling over him, when she watched how intensely he was looking at her through the reflection in the window. By the way he was looking at her, she could tell he knew what she have been thinking and to make things worst he was thinking the same.

The next seconds were spent in silence just looking intensely at each other through the reflection on the window… The moment was so intense that she felt her heartbeat stop with the way he was looking at her… The moment lost when she turned her eyes away and asked in a small voice "Where is Eun Mi?"

"She is playing with Sun in their house; Carmen-shi will call me to pick her up?" His answer was cool and collected not a reflection of how troubled he felt in the inside, he wanted her again, he has caught her looking at him intensely. He knew the meaning of that look because he was feeling exactly the same… He wanted her again, on her back, under him, gasping his name in pleasure, running her hands in his hair the way he liked it… His thoughts were running wild until the moment was lost when his new cell phone broke the silence filling the room. He took out his cell phone from his pocket it could be Carmen, but was surprised to see Jungshin is number. He answered the call "Hello"

"Hyung Thank God you picked up the phone" said a very stressed sounding Jungshin in the phone "I just receive a call from Hyo, she was almost crying, she told me the most crazy thing"

Yonghwa tensed Seohyun have been talking with one of her unnies before he entered the room, this must be important. He looked at Seohyun through the reflection she was looking at him, he didn't want to give her any reason to suspect anything so he said calmly to Jungshin "Talk, I am listening"

"Hyo said that Seohyun was planning to disappear with Eun Mi and asked me to call you and tell you to stop her… They are coming back to Korea the day after tomorrow and they wanted you to help them until they get back" said Jungshin trying to recall all his girlfriend have told him, she have been a nervous wreck and he have tried to calmed her down as best as possible.

"Did they say why?" asked Yonghwa keeping his expression collected. This was the information he needed.

"She said she will explain everything once in Korea… Something about Seohyun running because something bad could happen" Jungshin sighed "It was all confusing I am sorry Hyung, but we are going back too. Minhuyk is arranging the ticket change as we speak, hopefully we could catch the plane tomorrow or the day after that…" silence greeted Jungshin so he added a little concerned "Hyung Hyo sounded really worried, I am worried too. Something bad is happening and I think we are been kept in the dark about a lot of things"

"I feel exactly the same" said Yonghwa as he turned around to watch Seohyun directly. He looked as she slowly stood up and reached inside her dress pocket, he looked as she looked frantically around herself until she found the envelope he has seen before on the floor next to her underwear. She bend down grabbed the two things and put them in her pocket. "Will talk to you later, if you learn anything more give a call" He didn't wait for Jungshin is reply he ended the call immediately.

They looked at each other for a while and for some strange reason Seohyun wasn't feeling comfortable with the way he looked at her. She cleared her throat and said "It was one of the boys?"

"It was Jungshin, just telling they are coming back earlier than expected… Something happened" said Yonghwa easily.

"I hope it's not something bad" said Seohyun as she fidgeted in her spot, she didn't look comfortable… '_Good_' though Yonghwa to himself.

"I am hoping for the same" said Yonghwa as he approached her. "There are some issues that we need to discuss and this time Seohyun I want the truth" He watched as Seohyun backed away from him and looked hopelessly at him. "You are hiding something from me"

"I don't have any…" Seohyun couldn't finish what she was going to say because Yonghwa is cell phone began to ring again.

He looked who the caller was. This time it was Carmen. "It's Carmen-shi. I'm not finished with you" said Yonghwa looking at her intently before picking up the call. "Hello"

"I need a bath" said Seohyun as she fled the room. Yonghwa tried to stop her but was greeted by a very talkative Carmen.

Yonghwa gave the regular uh's and ah's as he listened to Carmen saying how good playing partners were Eun Mi and Sun. He was getting a little exasperated, not with the woman but with the situation. Seohyun had run away again… He needed to end the call as soon as possible. "I'm sorry Carmen-shi I am in line with my assistant… I will be there in a few minutes… Bye"

He picked up his shirt from the floor and decided he needed a new one… He will need to let his needed talk… Interrogation of Seohyun for later. He walked up the stairs and watched as Beet opened the door to the guest room a little to enter. It hadn't been properly closed and he watched from his position in the hallway how Seohyun took out a blue box from her luggage and put the letter inside of it. She then turned and put the box under the bed.

He moved before she could see him and moved to his room looking for a new shirt. If necessary he will take thinks on his hand… If she didn't want to call, the things she keeps hiding from him will talk for her…

* * *

Seohyun has avoided him like the plague… And even have excused herself to bed earlier with Eun Mi saying she had a headache. He didn't say anything he let her be, he had other plans. It was past midnight when he silently entered the room and took the box from under the bed. A thief inside his own home, he couldn't get any lower than this.

He moved to his living room with the blue box on his arms. It was heavy but he waited to open it until he was settled in his living room with the box lying in the coffee table in front of him. He had a mixture of emotions inside of him, but he knew his answers were just a step away.

He opened the box and the first thing he got out was the letter Seohyun was holding earlier, it was a nice white envelope with her initials at the front and what look like a hand painted red rose in the corner. He looked inside and found a group of letters with the same envelope tied up together. He looked at the group of letters as he took it out; he was intrigued she has been saving the letters, but why. He looked inside the box again and was surprised to find several hard drive disks inside the box; they have dates on them. They were dated from the time she moved out of Korea to a few months back.

He was confused but decided to begin with the letters. He began with the one that was not tied in the group.

**_My Dear Goddess_**

**_So nice to have you back in Korea, I hope your time in Boston has been good for you, congratulations on your second master. You were first rank on your class, your intelligence stunt me. _**

**_That is why you are so perfect and deserve only the best. And that is what makes me wonder why you are staying with that man… It makes me angry and you know bad things could happen when I am angry._**

**_MOVE OUT! I don't want to repeat myself, just do it!_**

**_By the way, your daughter is so pretty just like you, I hadn't have a chance to see her before but look at the pictures I took, she is your exact replica, so pretty. Too bad her father is that man, but don't worry I had five years to get over that issue._**

**_You know what I am capable. Move out!_**

**_With Love, _**

**_Your most faithful fan_**

**_XXX_**

A cold chill ran down his back as he re-read the letter again… This was have made Seohyun so upset, he looked inside the envelope the photos, he was stoned cold with what he saw. The photos were of them Eun Mi, Seohyun and him from the day they went to the park the first time, of them outside Eun Mi's school… From yesterday in the mall, a photo of Eun Mi grabbing his hand as Seohyun was looking through a rack of school uniforms. He felt sick, what this crazy man was thinking.

He grabbed the pack of letters and read them one by one. They were in chronological order, they were dated from the time they were caught together and had to make their relationship public. As he read each letter he could feel how from light threats the things have escalated to pure hate and sadistic remarks. He was sickened by it, but it got worse when he reached a letter that was really crumpled and have a few tear stains on it, it was dated from the time he has treated in the hospital for poisoning. Things were beginning to fall into place.

**_My Dear Goddess_**

**_See what happens when you don't listen to me. You made me take things into my own hands… Now, don't be sad, this is for your own good. You are better without him, you belong to your fans and above all to ME._**

**_Next time, I could make things worse. Be sure to remember that._**

**_With Love, _**

**_Your most faithful fan_**

**_XXX_**

**_P.D. Because I can't stand to see crying tell the doctor to test him for chemicals on his blood stream. Who said Americanos were the only way to intoxicate someone; favorite foods are a good option too… And in small doses the better._**

He hated this stupid so called fan with a vengeance. How Seohyun could kept this from him?… He felt angry first with this stupid man that was the cause of all the bad things between him and Seohyun and secondly he was mad with Seohyun how could she have kept quiet, she have been dealing with this mad man on her own all this time… He was feeling sick just thinking about it.

He keep reading the letters, they became more far between each other by the time Seohyun broke up with him… Until he reached the last letter, it was around the time Seohyun is parents have died. He was sickened with what he found in the letter and inside the envelope.

**_My Dear Goodess, _**

**_What did I told you last time? Last night you were such a bad girl, but I know what you are going through, so I forgive you. See how good I am. You are proud of me right?_**

**_But remember, this must NOT happen again. I will not tolerate it. You understand, right my love? _**

**_You know I want what is best for you. Just threat carefully, you know what could happen…_**

**_With Love, _**

**_Your most faithful fan_**

**_XXX_**

'What is best for her? _Fucking_ bastard' thought Yonghwa as he looked through the photos inside that envelope they were pictures of Seohyun clinging to him during the funeral and on the burial ground, pictures of them entering Yunho's car and then his apartment building, the few last photos were taken through the window of his apartment, Seohyun have been looking at the Photo book their fans have given him. The next pictures were of her leaving his building alone the next morning.

Now that he looked at the photos, they looked very professional for a common stalker and to be able to capture Seohyun from his apartment he must have very good equipment like a professional photographer or something like that.

He looked down again at the letters resting on his coffee table, the unsettling feeling getting worst by the minute and adding the letter that Seohyun have receive that day, it made things look a lot worst. Now he understood Seohyun is desperate need to run away. She has been running away from this faceless stranger that has kept her under his rule for long enough… But not anymore, he will see to that, no one was going to endanger his loved ones… He will make Seohyun go to the police first thing in the morning… If she didn't want to do it, he will make her do it, even if he have to drag her there, damn he can report him for attempted murder too, the letter was proof enough…

So much information in so little time, but things were looking clearly in front of him now, how she has broken up with him without any real excuse… How she has disappeared after their time together after her parents is funeral…. Fear was the worst adviser and he needed to guide Seohyun in the right path of action… She has dealt with this on her own long enough.

He stayed there for a long while just thinking the thinks he needed to do the next day, they needed to move out from the house, he could take them to his parents is house in Busan until the police could investigate the matter. So much to do. He was about to gather the letters when he remember the hard drives disk inside the box. He grabbed the one that was dated the oldest and decided to see what it was inside.

He connected the hard drive to his DVD player and opened the files, they were video files. He grabbed his remote control and pressed play in the first file.

Video began, it was someone fumbling with the camera, he could hear Seohyun is voice saying "_I hope this is working_" even if she wasn't in front of the camera yet.

He sat down slowly as he watched Seohyun sitting in front of the camera. She looked a little tired but fine.

"_Hi Oppa_" said Seohyun waving to the camera "_I just arrived at my new home. If you have read my letter by now you must know that I am pregnant…. I… I couldn't tell you directly, I know I was a coward but I was afraid of what could have happened if…_" She stopped abruptly "_It doesn't matter, I just want you to know that we are both fine and one way or the other I am going to pull through this_" She sighed deeply "_I just hope you have received the letter, I will wait, I know you must be upset, but trust me I had my reason, I have to think of our baby…_" He looked as Seohyun looked down and put a hand over her belly, then she looked up smiled sweetly at the camera, she looked happy. "_Bye_" She said as she stood up and moved to the camera ending the video.

He immediately pressed play to the next video. Again Seohyun was sitting in front of the camera, she looked so sad it broke his heart, a few tears were gathering in her eyes and his chest filled with pain when she started to talk in a very small sad voice that reached his soul "_It have been a month and I have know nothing of you, you probably didn't read my letter_" Tears began to fall from her eyes "_But I am too afraid to ask, what if you don't want to know anything about us… I wouldn't be able to take it… I just…_" He watched her trying to dry her tears but they were freely flowing, he wanted so much to hug her she looked devastated, she took several deep breaths before continuing smiling faintly at the camera through her tears "_I… I have decided to keep a video diary maybe you don't want to know about us, but maybe someday… I think I own you this much… Good Luck Yonghwa we are going to be fine_" She smiled faintly again and stood up and turned off the video. She gave up on him without even trying, he felt betrayed, how could she think he will let her deal with all this on her own.

He played the next few videos in rapid succession. She talked about her school life, her monthly visit to her doctor, showed a picture of their baby is first photo inside of her. She was smiling so brightly she looked happy. In another video she talked about her morning sickness, about how she loved Boston, how she was so shy that she hadn't made any friends but gladly she had her unnies to talk every day. It was as she was talking to him through the videos and his heart felt devastated how much he have missed. In the next few videos she kept talking about everything and nothing in particular, showing how her belly has began to grow little by little.

The next video grabbed him by surprise, she was fumbling rapidly with the camera, this time the video was moving a lot '_She must have the camera in her hand_' though Yonghwa as Seohyun appeared in the scream holding the camera at arm length. "_Oppa the baby moved_" said Seohyun with amazement and glee in her eyes, she was wearing her pajama, just the light besides her illuminating the room she was in. She gasped "_It moved again_" said Seohyun as she moved the camera to her belly and lifted her shirt putting a hand over her belly. "_The baby moved again_" said Seohyun as she brought the camera in her direction again… "_This is so amazing Oppa, I was wondering if the baby was really there, I have read that babies move all the time but just when they are big enough is that we can feel them_" She smiled brightly at the camera "_I am so happy, good night Oppa_" She threw a kiss to the camera and turned it off.

A lump has formed in his throat he has lost so many things, because of that stupid man, Oh he will make him pay… This will not stay just like this.

"_We are having a girl_" screamed Seohyun to the camera as she jumped a little around. "_The doctor could see it clearly this time. Yeyyyyy! You know I have always wanted a girl and if it is ok with you I want to call her like my grandmother Eun Mi_" She smiled at the camera as she sat down in the chair in front of the camera "_I will take your silence as a yes_" she smiled brightly at the camera and winked at him. "_Hope you like the idea of having a girl, I have to run I need to go to the library. Bye Oppa!_" She turned off the camera.

He keep watching the videos and was amazed with her growing changes, she looked more pretty each time he watched a new video. She was glowing happiness; it was so much that he could almost feel it through the screen of his TV. The videos were in random periods of time, sometimes a couple of weeks between each other, she keep talking about her daily life, how she felt different and showed him every once in a while her growing belly.

"_Hi Oppa, I wanted to show you what I have done_" said a happy Seohyun to the camera as she walked slowly into a room… "_Cha, Cha, Cha, Chan… Look this is our baby is room_" the camera moved around the place pink walls, a white baby crib was the center piece with all pink covers and pink everything. She moved the camera in her direction and said "_I hope you liked it. It is getting difficult to move around but I wanted to finish her room before her visit_" She smiled "_I am so excited in a little more than a month Eun Mi will be here with us. Upss she kicked, she must be saying hi to you"_ She moved the camera down to her belly. "_I am so big that I can't watch my feet anymore…_" He could hear her giggling "_Eun Mi say hi to your Appa… Oh! She kicked again she is saying hi. Oh! Now I have to go the bathroom_" She moved the camera to her face "_Bye Oppa_".

The next video robbed his breath away, it began in a hospital room he could hear Jessica is voice… "_Is this even working_" asked Jessica to a very pale, tired looking smiling Seohyun. "_If the green light is on, you are recording_" "_Oh I see_" said Jessica as she approached the bed "_Now Seohyun a few words for the bastard that got you pregnant?_" "_Unnie don't be like that_" said Seohyun whining a little and smiling at her friend behind the camera "_What? I can call him whatever I want… Now do you want to tell him something… You can curse him to hell, I won't tell… After you just went through I will be cursing him death_" Seohyun was smiling with Jessica is silly remarks, he could see Seohyun was going to say something when they were interrupted "_Look who is back_" said Jessica as she focused in the nurse that was pushing a baby crib inside the room. The nurse pushed the crib to the side of Seohyun is bed and bend down to retrieve a little pink bundle form the crib "_She was missing her mother, so we are back_" said the nurse as she handed Seohyun the baby. Seohyun received the baby smiling, her look of adoration to the baby made his heart swell with pride. "_Hello baby_" said Seohyun as she settle the baby in her arms. Jessica made a close up and said "_She is so pretty Seohyun_" He couldn't agree more his daughter looked so small and pretty, she was a little red with he didn't care, he was watching his baby and his heart was brimming with happiness.

In that moment he could hear someone else entering the room, several someones. Jessica moved the camera to the door and he watched as Tiffany and Taeyeon entered the room wearing what looked like really oversized mismatching pajamas, the Soshi girls were a sight to behold with their disarray look. "_I just talked with the girls they are super happy and send their best wishes_" said Tiffany as she approached the bed "_Hi baby_" said Tiffany as she smiled down at her new niece. "_They want us to send a picture… Hold her a little higher Hyunnie_" said Tiffany as she took a close up photo of Eun Mi with her cell phone camera. "_Great let me send this Hyo_" said Tiffany as she disappeared from the screen. Taeyeon approached the bed and began to make funny faces until Jessica told her drily "_I doubt she can see what you are doing when we can see she is obviously sleeping_" Taeyeon gave the camera a murder look, Seohyun laughed out loud. Taeyeon looked back at Seohyun and told her "_I just talked with your doctor they are going to release you from the hospital the day after tomorrow. Tiffany is going to stay and Jessica and I will go change and bring some clothes_" Taeyeon looked at the camera. "_Quit playing time to go_" and the video ended just like that.

The next videos were of really crazy stuff, he could see her unnies were having a blast playing with the camera. He watched videos of Eun Mi sleeping, yawning, smiling, puking, bathing, changing diapers, watching her crazy aunts dancing to 'Gee' and a lot more of random stuff, he was grateful for that, because with that he had got a glance at their life.

The last video of the hard drive stopped him cold. Seohyun was sitting in Eun Mi is room he could tell because he could see the baby crib in the back of the room. The lights were turned off and just a little lamp beside her illuminated the room. Seohyun looked pale and tired, dark circles rounding her once big bright eyes, for a few minutes he was scared for her, if not for the thought of her sleeping in his guest room with Eun Mi he would think this video was a bad sing. He looked as Seohyun took several deep breaths before she began to talk to the camera "_Oppa this is so hard_" he could see tears gathering in her eyes "_I don't know if I can't do this on my own… My unnies have to go back a week ago and I miss them a lot, they were a lot of help… Handling a baby is not easy_" Tears began to run down her eyes and Yonghwa could feel her desperation through her eyes, he wanted to hug her so badly it broke his heart to look at her like that, she looked so alone as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders and she was beginning to feel weighed down by its weight. "_It have been so hard, I thought I could handle this alone but… But I don't know if I could do it… I have tried my best and…_" She was stopped by the cry of the baby, in that moment the look of desperation she gave to the camera was devastating, she moved hurriedly to the crib and grabbed the baby "_What it is Eun Mi, please don't cry_" said Seohyun as tears keep running down her cheeks "_What is wrong?_" asked Seohyun to the baby maybe forgetting about the camera as she settled down again in the chair in front of the camera "_Please don't cry_" He watched as Seohyun began to rock the baby slowly and sing her a lullaby but the baby keep crying "_Maybe you are hungry_" said Seohyun as she began to unbutton her shirt, she removed the cover of her left breast and approached the crying baby to her chest. Yonghwa watched in amazement as Seohyun feed Eun Mi, the crying ceasing to be replaced by little sighs, his emotions were so raw that his eyes became full of tears. "_You were hungry_" said Seohyun smiling down at her baby, her look of adoration clear before him, he watched until be baby felt asleep in Seohyun is arms again, a tear slipping his eyes. She looked up at the camera and noticed it was still on; she smiled brightly at it, her sparkly eyes shining at him "_Oppa, you know what. I think I can do this… Just having our baby girl in my arms makes all things right… I guess I will just have to learn to live my life without you_" She smiled one last time at the camera. He watched her stand up and the image stopped.

All that lost time, he felt betrayed by her idea… To leave him out of their life; he couldn't accept that, he would not be robbed of these moments with _his_ family ever again. He replayed the last video and stopped it on the image of Seohyun looking down at the baby as she was feeding Eun Mi. The look of adoration in Seohyun is eye, robbed him of his ability for rational though. She looked so serene and calm, so different from her look at the beginning of the video. He was glad she have been able to pull through it, he could see how difficult it have been for her, it couldn't be easy to be in another country handling a baby on her own, but now she was back where she belonged he would take care of her and their daughter, he would see to that. But first things first. He needed to deal with the crazy man after his Seohyun first… Busan was looking more promising by the minute.

He was about to stand up to put the second hard drive to watch the next batch of videos when he heard her angry voice from the bottom of the stairs.

_"What do you think you are doing?"_

* * *

_"What do you think you are doing?" said Seohyun in an angry tone as she looked at Yonghwa sitting in the living room watching her videos... Those were her personal memories… 'How could him?' she though as she advanced into the living room._

The video was paused in the image of her looking down at her daughter as she was feeding her… She remembered that day; it has been her lowest point… So many things have run through her mind that day, the feeling of helplessness as her daughter keep crying, the feeling of desperation as she was trying to figure out what to do, the feeling of loneliness… The loneliness has been the worst, she has been used to the help of her unnies, but in that moment she came to realize how truly alone she was. It has been one of the worst days of her life, she has been a total mess and no one was there for her… The only thing that has kept her sane was the presence of her daughter, having her little girl in her arms have made her see things clearly. In that moment she took a decision and until today was burdened with the consequences of her actions.

Did she regret it, someone part of her did, but the other part of her knew that that decision had made her strong enough to care and protect for her daughter… No matter what. It was funny, she clearly remember her last words in that video '…I guess I will just have to learn to live my life without you' … It have been difficult, but she have learned to step away from her feelings for Yonghwa and just focus all her attention in her daughter… But things have changed in the last few days… He just needed to step back into her life to move her world upside down again. That afternoon she have surrendered to him, there was not going back but the fear about what she needed to do next was eating her from the inside out, a decision needed to be made to tell him or not… But it all vanished when she found him looking through her things.

She approached him and a dreading feeling grasped her heart when she watched the letters open in front of him in the coffee table… She stopped cold in her tracks and watched stoned the letters scattered around the coffee table… She closed her eyes slowly and took several deep breaths. She calmed herself enough to grab the courage to focus her attention in the man sitting in the couch, he was looking at her intently and she watched as in slow motion he stood up an began to approach her… That look couldn't mean nothing 'He must know' though Seohyun as Yonghwa approached her… She became nervous wreck… In that moment she did the only thing that her mind was capable of thinking, she moved to the table and began to collect the letters as she said "You shouldn't have gone through my things… You have no right Yonghwa!"

Yonghwa watched in silence as Seohyun frantically tried to collect the letters, he stood there looking at her desperate attempt to control herself, he watched how her hands keep shacking and the waver in her voice gave him a great insight of her current state of mind. She have keep talking on and on how he shouldn't be looking into her stuff, how he should have asked, etc., etc. He wasn't paying much attention to what she was saying and more to her actions. He let her be, he stood there waiting until she have gathered all the letters in her hand, he watched how she approached the table to put the letters in the blue box and in that moment he stepped in front of her and grasped her both hands in his "Look at me Seohyun"

Seohyun couldn't look at him, it was impossible. How she could face him? The things she has been hiding from him where too much, he must be really mad, but she couldn't look at him. "You shouldn't have grabbed my things" said Seohyun in a little voice, all the anger gone and just the shame of what she has done in place… She really couldn't look at him.

"Look at me Seohyun" said Yonghwa slowly again, trying to control his feelings. Seohyun looked so lost standing there in front of him looking to the ground. He wanted to do so much, yes he was angry with her, but he couldn't stay angry with her forever. She has gone through so much and he could understand her reason behind it, but it was time to stop all this nonsense. He put some comforting pressure in her hands as he keep grabbing her hands and said slowly almost a whisper "Look at me Seohyun, please" He watched her grab several deep breaths before their gaze clashed, her eyes were full of unshed tears. "Let it go Seohyun-ah, I know… I know" He watched how her tears began to fall down slowly one by one; her big brown eyes were looking at him in a way that twisted his hearth. He looked how her grasp in the letters was lost and watched how the letters scattered slowly around their feet.

"You almost die…" said Seohyun with so much feeling before she began to cry in earnest. She couldn't stand the way Yonghwa was looking at her, it was a mixture of sadness and sorrow and anger… But the most powerful feelings in his eyes were sadness and sorrow. She could understand why, she felt the same way but… She couldn't look at him.

Yonghwa watched as she covered her face with her hands, watched for a few moments how her trembling body tried to control the deep sorrow he saw in her eyes, how she was trying to control her crying but failing miserably… He was a very stupid man, but how he loved this woman. Yes, he loved her, no matter what she have done, how many times she has walked over him, his feelings for her were exactly the same if not deeper with each passing second… Yes, he loved her because no matter what she has done, she has done it because she cared for him… 'You almost die' keep repeating in his head, the feeling behind that statement have so much weight that the only thing he could think off, was hugging her and comforting her and make things right for her and their daughter. It was time to stop running…

He slowly closed the bridge between them and gathered her in his arms. He hugged her for a long while, just letting her rid herself of all her compressed sorrow and sadness. He moved them to the couch, gathering her in his arms as he sat down. She hugged him with all her might as he settled her in his lap, just like she was a little girl looking for comfort. He began to slowly stroke her back and her hair as she slowly calmed herself "I am here Seohyun, just let it go my love" said Yonghwa in a whisper as he keep stroking her back and whispering sweet nothings to her. After a long while Seohyun calmed herself enough and the crying ceased… They kept themselves in silence just enjoying the shared warm, the sweet comfort of just hugging someone, he wanted to stay like that forever but he needed to know it all to be able to take action as soon as possible, so he asked "Why you didn't tell me?"

Seohyun took a deep breath as she sank more deeply her face against his neck and rubbed her cheek slowly against his shoulder. She felt so much better now that Yonghwa knew, it was as if a big weight have been lifted from her back, she felt so much better… She felt relieved. She answered his question slowly and carefully, he needed to know the truth "It all began after we were caught in a our date in the Han river, you know how our fans became upset and as you did, I received a lot of hate letters, I didn't pay them attention and my manager was in charge of dealing with them, but one day this letter in the hate box called my attention. It was hand painted and had my initials printed on it, I thought it would not hurt to read it, but what I found inside was not pleasant…" She paused a little "You have read them, so you must know."

"I know" said Yonghwa controlling his voice as he hugged her strongly. He hated that so called fan with a vengeance… He will pay for this, for ruining their life. He will pay.

"The letters keep coming but I didn't pay them much attention…" Seohyun grabbed a deep breath to control herself "Until the day Minhuyk called me from your cell phone and told me you were in the hospital because you were poisoned" Her voice began to crack a little remembering how worried she have been about him, about the idea of losing him. "Those were the worst 48 hours of my life Yonghwa, when I watched you in bed…" A few tears escaped her eyes and she dried them with the back of her hand. "It was like you were not there anymore… I dreaded for the worst and when you collapsed in that moment I understood I wouldn't be able to keep going without you… I… I was so worried and then I received another letter in the hospital, he have left it for me in the reception" She buried herself into him and hugged him strongly "Then I understood what have happened, I told the doctor to look for other thing in your lab test and luckily they found the right treatment for you… If not for that letter, we wouldn't have known what you had and you would be…"

"Don't say it" said Yonghwa as he hugged her and tried to calm her, he keep rubbing her back until her trembling stopped, they stayed that way for a while and Yonghwa told her "After that you began to step away from me, I remember"

"I am sorry" said Seohyun as she moved away a little and looked him in the eyes "I… I didn't see any other way out, you almost die… and… and I couldn't face something like that again… Those days I keep dreading what was going to happen to you, I didn't want something like that to happen again, for me it was better to know that you were alright…" She bit her lower lip out of worry and told him "I was thinking of you, when I stepped away from you, I didn't see any other way out."

"You could have told me, we could have deal with this together" said Yonghwa as he looked at her. They looked at each other for a long while, discussion about pass decisions were not going to get them anywhere so he told her "It is in the past now, but I would have liked to know the truth and not just think that you were moving away because you didn't care for me anymore"

"Never Yonghwa" said Seohyun as she stroked his cheek with her hand.

"What happened after that" asked Yonghwa as he enjoyed the way Seohyun's hand caressed his cheek.

"The letters almost stopped and I was dealing with my lost of you well enough, until the day my parents had the accident" Tears gathered again in her eyes, you would think after all that crying she wouldn't be able to cry anymore but the memory of her parents made her feel worst. Yonghwa dried her tears with his hand as she keep talking "I was so devastated… Part of my world ended that day with the death of my parents, and then you came and I was feeling so alone and so sad because I had no one else… and I couldn't have you, but I told myself that one more time wouldn't hurt, I didn't want to feel alone and you know what happened" Seohyun blushed a little as she added "I stopped taking the pill after we broke up"

"And I didn't take any precautions" said Yonghwa as he smiled a little at her "It was no body is fault and now we have a beautiful daughter together" said Yonghwa slowly as he looked intently at her "She is a good girl Seohyun, you have done so well on your own… As much as I am still angry about not knowing of her existence I am grateful to you for raising her so well" Yonghwa gathered in his arms again and hugged her close to his chest "What happened after?"

"When you came to look for me at the apartment I didn't know I was pregnant, I learned about it a couple of weeks later when I was treated in the hospital, the press release have said I collapsed because of fatigue, but in truth I haven't know I was pregnant so when I fainted in the dorm the girls rushed me to the hospital… After that, decisions were made, I talked to Mr. Lee and my withdrawal from SNSD was planned. The week after the statement was released I moved to Boston." She began to play with the buttons of his shirt "I watched your life performance of 'My story between your hands' before I went away… It stayed with me for a long time, I am so sorry Yonghwa"

"It doesn't matter anymore" said Yonghwa as he caressed her back "I wrote that song thinking of you and was my call out for you, but you disappeared before I could do anything"

"I am sorry"

"Stop saying that, please" said Yonghwa a little exasperated "What is done is done; we have to move forward from now on… We are going to the police in the morning"

"But…"

"No, we are going to the police and that is it. Do you thing after all I have read and the photos I have seen I can let this thing rest… That man has controlled our life for long enough, it is time to stop it… we are going to stop this nonsense" Yonghwa made her look at him "I need you to understand this Seohyun, WE are going to deal with this together, I know you have planned to disappear because you are scared for Eun Mi, but running away and live in fear all your life is not healthy for you or for our daughter" He put a hand on her cheek and told her in a clear strong voice "If we have to move away because of that crazy man, we are going to do it together… Do you understand me Seohyun? I won't let you push me away from your lives anymore, I am here and I am going to stay"

Seohyun didn't know what to say, her eyes filled with tears as she though how she was not going to deal with this alone anymore. She felt relieved. "Ok" was her short full of meaning agreement to his statement "We will deal with this together Yonghwa"

"Good" said Yonghwa as he dried her tears "Seohyun I am doing this because I care and I want us to have a chance" She nodded a little in acknowledgment "We need to prepare ourselves, the next few days are going to be difficult, but if things turn for the worst, we can go to Busan or move out of the country if you feel the need"

"Thank you Yonghwa" said Seohyun as she looked at him intently "Thank you"

"There is nothing to thank me for" said Yonghwa carefully "I want to protect you and Eun Mi, I want to help you Seohyun, just let me do it"

She nodded again, she felt so relieved. All this time she have been living in fear, so much weight have been lifted from her back that she felt light headed. In the morning things will change and she needed to be prepared for that "I think it is best if we rest for now" said Seohyun as she began to stand up. Yonghwa let her go reluctantly but acknowledge her statement with a nod. He stood up and grabbed her hand as the two of them walked together up the stairs.

Once in front of the guest room she was going to open the door, when she felt Yonghwa tugging at her hand. She looked at their joined hand and then at him "Stay with me" was his simple request.

Just three simple words 'Stay with me' but so much meaning behind them, going with him will mean the beginning of whatever they have left behind them… Was she ready to make the jump? Yes, she was. Did she want to make the jump? Yes, she was afraid he wouldn't ask or if she will gather the enough courage to ask herself. "Ok" said Seohyun as she let her hand fall from the handle of the guest room and let Yonghwa guide her to his room.

Yonghwa let her in first and Seohyun listened in anticipation how he slowly closed the door behind him. She looked around the room; a lamp was turned on in the corner. It was decorated with few things, but the only decorations were in the bling, bling, sparkly, sparkly side. She smiled to herself he would never change…

She kept looking around and was a little surprised when she felt his strong arms wrap around her waist from the back, she moved her head to the side as his mouth found its way across her neck to her ear. He began to kiss and bite the lobe of her ear as his hands began to roam slowly over her body. He caressed her side moved his right hand over her hip to slowly touch the tip of his fingers over her secret place. His other hand found its way up to her breast caressing her slowly over her clothes, but making her frustrated because she wanted to feel his hands on her skin.

She tried to turn around but Yonghwa kept her in place as he enjoyed her little sights and moans of protest, he wanted to take things slowly. After enough time of torture for both of them Yonghwa turned her around and grasped her lips in a slowly sensual caress that left her breathless, his lips ran over her lips in a slow pace, enjoying every second as their mouths caressed it each other, it was nothing like what happened that afternoon, during that time he have fought for dominance over her and won, but not now, now it was the mutual enjoyment of two people that wanted each other. Before it have been all about lust and anger, now it will be about to make love slowly to the woman he loved.

He felt her hands running over his front, unbuttoning his shirt, he helped her to remove it and hissed in pleasure as her hands began to caress his chest. He kissed her with more passion and moved the kiss to something deeper as he ran his tongue over her lower lip and pushed his tongue inside her mouth. He moved his hands over her body but wanted a lot more than that, he grasped the edge of her shirt and removed the garment from her body in one fluid move. His gaze descended on her chest and he hissed in pleasure when he noticed she was wearing no bra.

Seohyun though about covering herself when Yonghwa was looking at her half naked, but though that it wouldn't be the first and certainly not the last time. She boldly moved forward and draped her arms around his neck, running her hands up to his hair as she kissed him slowly returning the favor by running her tongue over his lower lip and letting her tongue roam inside his mouth.

He draped his hands around her waist and caressed her back as he let her do as she pleased with his mouth, things were getting hot and having her in his arms was not enough for him, so he slowly began to back her up until her legs hit the bed and Yonghwa let his weight fall over her in bed the kissing never ceasing. He balanced himself and dragged her to the center of the bed, just then he let his body cover her completely, it felt so good to have her under him caressing his back, kissing him slowly, sensually, just the way he liked it. She was the only woman who could make him felt this way, in need to control, to siege, to mark her as his… Other womans have been just for pleasure but with Seohyun it was for all the right reasons.

He moved to kiss her neck and began his slow descend sucking, licking, biting all the way down her neck until he found his place over her right breast, sucking it slowly as one of his hand caressed expertly her other breast. She arched her back into him and he groaned in pleasure, listening intently at her rapid breathing, her restless movement under him, delighting in the way her hands were running in his back. Grasping the opportunity with his free hand he grabbed the edge of her pajama pants and her underwear and removed the thing with her help. Having her completely naked under him was the best feeling ever. She tried to sit and moved her hands to his pants to help to remove them, but he had other plans. Her grabbed her both hands and grasped her wrists in one of his hands over her head. She looked at him in confusion and he just smiled slowly at her "Not yet" and before she could say something he began to kiss her again, robbing her of any coherent thought. The kiss was deep, it was hot and it promised a night full of sinful caresses and pleasure between the sheets.

When he noticed Seohyun was dizzy looking at her pleasure clouded eyes he began his slow descend over her body again, kissing his way down over her breast, taking his time in each one of them, making her gasp and pant for more, then his mouth slowly trailed down over her belly until he reached her secret place.

She was shocked when Yonghwa kissed her there and began to blush as she tried to close her legs, but Yonghwa grasped her tights to keep them apart "Wha… What are you doing?" asked Seohyun a little breathless as she sank her hands in his hair trying to push him away.

She watched him slowly looking up and smiling at her sensually "Something for you to enjoy" and before she could say anything else, she felt him sucking her pleasure point, it was something she never imagined possible, but feeling him licking her, sucking her, pushing his tongue inside of her was too much, she grabbed handful of his hair trying to control the impulses running through her, she didn't know if she wanted to push him away or drag him closer… Her body solved the problem when her hips began to move on their own matching his sinful caresses in her secret place.

She was so hot, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't think, she needed him, but the need to release all this collected need was greater and before she knew it, she was screaming her pleasure as wave after wave of release watched over her, Yonghwa kept her on the edge for so long, not stopping even when her release came, inserting two of his fingers in her, caressing her in ways that made her beg for more. She was so satiated that she vaguely registered Yonghwa moving away from the bed, when he came back he was completely naked and she received him in her arms willingly.

He kissed her slowly as he positioned himself in her entrance, he didn't ask just took what she willingly offered. It was slow, and deep each move matching their controlled breathes making the pleasure longer, sweeter as he slide in and out of her… Slow. She draped her legs around his waist making it easier for the both of them as she caressed his back in slow motion, feeling his muscles ripple in pleasure under her touch. Their dance continued its slow pace, until it became almost impossible to control the impulse to be closer, he began to move faster and harder, it was so much that she couldn't thing, she could only concentrate on matching his movements letting their bodies become one. Listening to him as he groaned and pushed even harder inside of her, she couldn't take it, she sank her nails in his back as another release took over her body. Soon after Yonghwa was spilling himself inside of her and never in her live she has felt better. "I love you" she could hear Yonghwa whisper into her ear as he recovered his breath.

She was so tired but smiled sweetly at him in her dazed state and told him "I love you, too"  


* * *

_"I should go" said Seohyun as Yonghwa lazily kissed her shoulder. After the first time they sleep for a while but she was woken up by Yonghwa is insistent mouth for another round, she wasn't complaining she enjoyed every second of it, but after all that happened it was better to break the news slowly to Eun Mi._

"Let's get married" said Yonghwa as he kissed her ear.

"Wha… What?" said Seohyun a little shocked, she tried to turn around but Yonghwa kept her in place hugging her from the back.

"I know it is not the best kind of proposal but we have lost too much time" he turned her around and settle his weight over her "I want to marry you Seohyun-ah"

Seohyun is eyes became full of tears, words were failing her "Yonghwa…"

"I will take your tears as a good sing" said Yonghwa as he smiled at her and bend down to stole a light kiss from her lips "Seo Joo Hyun would you do me the honor of marry me… This poor soul that have been in love with you for so long and will probably die out of grieve if you say no" She laughed at his silliness and he smiled at her. "I see you have some doubts… Uhmmm maybe this will need a bit of convincing on my part"

He nudged himself in her entrance and Seohyun hit him in the shoulder "Yonghwa this is serious"

"Really? I am been completely serious here" said Yonghwa as he nudged a little more, she opened herself for him "If you need some convincing about how well we match together I will gladly help you to clear any doubt" He began to slowly move and Seohyun gasped in pleasure. After a while he stopped and looked down at her as she tried to make him move again, he have stopped too soon "Seohyun look at me" she opened her eyes slowly and looked at him "Marry me"

She could see the determination in his eyes, he wanted an answer and having him buried inside of her as dizzy as it made her, also probed herself how much she loved and wanted this man. "Yes" was her breathless answer as Yonghwa bent down to kiss her again and finish what they just began… The third round have just began.

* * *

_Seohyun woke up slowly, the sun light hitting her eyes… For a few minutes she was lost and then she slowly she began to remember, the confession, her night with Yonghwa, his proposal… Now she was engaged to Yonghwa and she couldn't be any happier. She was resting her head on Yonghwa is chest, feeling his arms wrapping her securely to him. She felt so safe so secure… Things surely will be better from now on, for her and her daughter._

'Eun Mi' though Seohyun as she bolted in bed, she draped the sheet over her chest and was going to move out of bed when she found Eun Mi standing to the side of the bed looking at Yonghwa and her. Her big clear eyes looking at them with some confusion. Seohyun tried to calm herself before using her voice "Good Morning Eun Mi" said Seohyun to her daughter slowly. She could feel Yonghwa stirring beside her. "Yonghwa look who have come to say hi" She felt Yonghwa sitting up in the bed as she looked around frantically for something to wear. She found Yonghwa is shirt and began to up it on.

"Good Morning Eun Mi" said Yonghwa calmly as he looked at the little girl, looking curiously at him. The little dog sitting beside her, looking up at him too. "How are you today?"

"Fine thank you" said Eun Mi as she looked from him to Seohyun as she finish to bottom up his shirt, she looked damn sexy, but he will need to save that for later.

"Are you hungry?" asked Seohyun as she moved around the bed to stand beside Eun Mi. Eun Mi nodded. "Let's go I will make your favorite food for breakfast, come Eun Mi" said Seohyun as she extended her hand to her daughter.

Eun Mi grabbed Seohyun is hand and she was relieved when Eun Mi began to walk with her to the door. But then Eun Mi stopped and turned around to look at Yonghwa.

"Are you my Appa?"

_**Author's Note**__:_

Cha Channnnn! XD I know you are dying and probably want to kill, but wait until I finish this.

I have to run for work, I was planning to finish this yesterday but I had a hard day at work and was so tired that I felt asleep as soon as I get to my house. And now I have to run because I have to work this Saturday.

Will comment more later, I will publish the ending chapter this weekend, probably in two parts, This have to end this weekend, because after this I will be too busy, but my OCD self needs to finish whatever it have started… so I am pushing myself to finish this during this weekend. Wait for it.

I love you comments! I am so sad this is ending T_T


	12. Chapter 12

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Last Episode…**

_Seohyun woke up slowly, the sun light hitting her eyes… For a few minutes she was lost and then she slowly she began to remember, the confession, her night with Yonghwa, his proposal… Now she was engaged to Yonghwa and she couldn't be any happier. She was resting her head on Yonghwa is chest, feeling his arms wrapping her securely to him. She felt so safe so secure… Things surely will be better from now on, for her and her daughter._

_'Eun Mi' though Seohyun as she bolted in bed, she draped the sheet over her chest and was going to move out of bed when she found Eun Mi standing to the side of the bed looking at Yonghwa and her. Her big clear eyes looking at them with some confusion. Seohyun tried to calm herself before using her voice "Good Morning Eun Mi" said Seohyun to her daughter slowly. She could feel Yonghwa stirring beside her. "Yonghwa look who have come to say hi" She felt Yonghwa sitting up in the bed as she looked around frantically for something to wear. She found Yonghwa is shirt and began to up it on._

_"Good Morning Eun Mi" said Yonghwa calmly as he looked at the little girl, looking curiously at him. The little dog sitting beside her, looking up at him too. "How are you today?"_

_"Fine thank you" said Eun Mi as she looked from him to Seohyun as she finished to bottom up his shirt, she looked damn sexy, but he will need to save that for later._

_"Are you hungry?" asked Seohyun as she moved around the bed to stand beside Eun Mi. Eun Mi nodded. "Let's go I will make your favorite food for breakfast, come Eun Mi" said Seohyun as she extended her hand to her daughter._

_Eun Mi grabbed Seohyun is hand and she was relieved when Eun Mi began to walk with her to the door. But then Eun Mi stopped and turned around to look at Yonghwa._

_"Are you my Appa?"_

**Chapter – 12**

_"Are you my Appa?"_

The next few seconds a death silence descended in the room. Seohyun felt her heart stop beating for a few seconds; she looked from Yonghwa to Eun Mi and back. She could see the tension in Yonghwa is body as he draped the bed sheet more securely around his waist and moved to sit in the edge of the bed. Such a simple question, but so much meaning behind it. Eun Mi have always wanted to know about her Appa and for her to ask, it meant her daughter have been thinking of it a lot, she felt awful. Her little girl has been living with all this questions inside of her and she hadn't deal with them properly. It needed to stop now… All the lies needed to end. She was going to say something, she didn't know what but her mouth was opening, until she watched Yonghwa make a gesture with his hand that told her he will deal with it.

"Come here Eun Mi" said Yonghwa as he sat himself in the edge of the bed, Eun Mi was looking at him curiously and after a few seconds she agreed to walk to him… He was dreading she will pull away, but to his surprise Eun Mi approached him carefully, her big brown eyes full of doubts and questions. It really broke his heart, but it was time to come clean with their daughter too. When she was close enough he extended his left hand and Eun Mi grabbed it without a doubt '_It must be a good sign_' though Yonghwa as Eun Mi stopped in front of him. "Why would you think that?" asked Yonghwa slowly keeping his eyes on Eun Mi is face.

He watched as Eun Mi looked at Seohyun and how Seohyun slowly nodded to their daughter, she was encouraging her to go on. Eun Mi looked back at him and told him slowly in a very low voice "Sun told me that her Omma and Appa sleep together" Yonghwa nodded slowly, he was getting the picture now "When we were playing with her doll house, I told her that Omma sleep with her daughter, but she told me that Omma and Appa sleep in the same room…" Eun Mi is voice trailed almost like a whisper by the end of her statement.

Yonghwa smiled encouraging his daughter to continue. "Go on" said Yonghwa as he looked proudly at his very bright daughter. How he loved his little girl. "What else she told you?"

Eun Mi took a deep breath and added in rush "Sun said that her Appa always makes breakfast for them and he sometimes takes her to the park and… and…"

"And I have done exactly the same things for you" said Yonghwa smiling at his daughter "Eun Mi if I told you I was your Appa. Would you like that?" asked Yonghwa holding his breath dreading for her answer. She nodded slowly at him. He grabbed her other hand and said slowly "Eun Mi I am really sorry for not telling you before, but you were so little when I left and I wanted you to know me before we could tell you the truth" He slowly lifted a hand and caressed her hair "But my daughter is such a bright girl…" He watched with satisfaction as a big smile illuminated Eun Mi is face.

Eun Mi looked at her Omma a question in her eyes. Her Omma had her eyes full of tears and just nodded confirming what she was silently asking. She looked back at the man in front of her and a happy feeling settle in her chest; they finally have their Appa back. "Are you really my Appa?" asked Eun Mi for confirmation.

"Yes, I am" said Yonghwa as he reassuringly pressed her little hand in his. "Would you forgive me? For not telling you the truth from the beginning? I am really sorry Eun Mi". He watched how his daughter eagerly nodded. He smiled again; this time a few tears gathering in the corner of his eyes "Can I have a hug?" Eun Mi immediately moved closer and wrapped her little arms around his neck. He grabbed her and gave her a bear hug; he closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of having his little girl in his arms. "I love you so much"

Seohyun watched in silence the exchange between Yonghwa and Eun Mi a few tears escaping her eyes, as her heart twisted and ached like never before, the look of hope her daughter have given her while silently asking if it was true broke her heart in a thousand pieces. She looked how tightly Yonghwa hugged Eun Mi and felt a big weight lifting from her heart. Now the truth was out, their daughter knew who her father was and she couldn't be happier… And grateful to Yonghwa watching how well he has dealt with the situation. She waited until they stopped hugging and cleared the lump in her throat a little before saying "Let's get some breakfast Eun Mi" Seohyun watched her daughter look in her direction and she extended her hand again. Eun Mi gave Yonghwa a peck on the cheek before running to her and held her hand. She and Yonghwa exchanged a meaningful look, he looked happy and she was glad for that, she silently thanked him before moving out of the room.

"I will be down in a minute" said Yonghwa as he watched them go. He felt light weighed he was happy beyond reason, he was going to marry Seohyun (as soon as possible, no question there) and now his daughter knew the truth, well some of it… Maybe later when she is old enough they could tell her the whole truth but for now he was happy with Eun Mi is acceptance of him as her father. Now the only thing left was to deal with the crazy man after Seohyun.

He moved hurriedly to the bathroom and took a quick bath. He donned his favorite blue jeans and a light blue striped shirt. He walked down the stairs and stopped in the kitchen entrance enjoying the sigh in front of him, his heart bursting with joy, now his picture was complete and all his. Seohyun have her back to him, she was cooking on the stove; He inhaled deeply… Scrambled eggs and sausages. He looked to the breakfast table and found Eun Mi eating a bowl of grapes while Beet was sleeping under her sit. It was just perfect, his picture perfect.

Yes, this was what he have always imagined and it was all his. He smiled to himself and walked to the table to drop a kiss on Eun Mi is head, then he bend down and scratched Beet behind his ears and at last moved to the stove, wrapping his right arm around Seohyun is waist. She was still wearing his shirt but now she has added to the outfit his black apron. She looked damn sexy with that outfit and her long lose hair almost hugging her waist. His Seohyun was all he wanted and he was making sure she knew it.

He kissed her on the cheek and told her in a whisper his mouth caressing slowly her ear. "Seohyun-ah, I have never look as sexy as you in that shirt" He bit her lobe lightly and added "If not for our daughter watching curiously over us, by now I will have you on your back over the kitchen counter, making you scream my name on and on until we both collapse against each other sweating and panting for breath" he chuckled when he watched her blush furiously and kissed her on the cheek again before moving to the refrigerator to take out the orange juice.

He took a glass and was about to pour the juice when he heard Eun Mi say "Appa, Can I have a glass of juice?"

He almost dropped the glass to the floor, he turned around so suddenly that almost splashed the content of the box in the floor. He heard Seohyun gasp and drop the pan over the stove. They looked at each other and then at Eun Mi. "What did you say?" asked Yonghwa his voice trembling, it was the first time his daughter called him Appa directly, and his reaction to hearing it was beyond his comprehension.

"Can I have a glass of juice, Appa?" said Eun Mi looking at them doubtfully, maybe because their expressions of shock were a little too out of place for a simple glass of juice.

Yonghwa had to clear his voice several times before he was able to say something. He was the most happy man in the entire universe in that moment "Of Course" said Yonghwa as he approached the table and poured her the glass of juice.

"Appa are you crying?" asked Eun Mi as she watched her Appa left the glass of juice and the juice box in the table. His eyes were full of tears. "Are you hurt?"

Yonghwa crouched beside his daughter is seat and looked at her fondly "No, I am not hurt. I am happy" said Yonghwa as he caressed Eun Mi is head. "I love you so much Eun Mi, always remember that" He hugged her strongly and kissed her cheek.

"I love you too, Appa" said Eun Mi as she hugged him back. She now has her Appa with her and she was happy for that, her Omma and her wouldn't be alone anymore.

Yonghwa felt the tears he have been holding escape his eyes as he listened to his daughter saying that she loved him too. He looked to his left and found Seohyun looking them, a hand over her mouth as tears slipped continuously out of her eyes. He stood up with Eun Mi in his arms and extended his left arm to Seohyun; they walked to each other and meet halfway. Seohyun draped her hands around them as Yonghwa hugged her close with his free arm.

Eun Mi looked at her Omma and asked "Omma, why are you crying?"

"These Eun Mi" said Seohyun as she grabbed her daughter is hand and pressed it to her cheek. "These are happy tears, I love you my princess"

"I love you too Omma" said Eun Mi as she extended her arms to her Omma and Seohyun received her in her arms without question.

Yonghwa hugged the both of them and they stayed that way for a long while. Just enjoying the moment, enjoying the shared warm, now his family was complete… His picture perfect. He let the feelings of completeness and happiness wash over him again and again, until he smelled something "Something is burning" said Yonghwa as he keep hugging them, he didn't want to move.

"Yonghwa the food" said Seohyun as she dragged herself out of his arms.

Yonghwa turned around and found the pan oozing black smoke, he moved to the stove and turned the thing off. He grabbed a cloth and grabbed the handle of the pan to look at the content. "This is a lost cause" said Yonghwa as he dropped the scramble eggs pan into the sink and turned the tab on, the thing was black beyond recognition. "Seohyun I guess your cooking abilities hadn't improved much over the years" said Yonghwa teasingly, smiling at her. He loved the way she was glaring at him and he ran in the other direction when Seohyun moved closer to hit him. He grabbed Beet from the floor and said "You wouldn't dare to hit a man holding a little, defenseless, poor puppy that have nothing to do with what is happening"

Seohyun put her free hand over her waist as her nose began to flare "Jung Yonghwa, It is not funny!"

He laughed and approached her slowly holding Beet in front of him like a peace offering. He watched Eun Mi laugh at his silliness and he was pleased with himself. On the other hand his future wife was still glaring at him but he watched how a hint of a smile was appearing in the corner of her mouth. "I am sorry my love" said Yonghwa as he approached her enough to kiss her in the forehead. Seohyun grabbed the opportunity to hit him in the arm "Auch! that hurt"

"Found yourself lucky that I didn't hit you in a more sensible part" He frowned. She and Eun Mi laughed at his expression. "Let me tell you that my cooking has improved through the years, I have practiced a lot" She walked back to the table and put Eun Mi down again. "I guess I need to began again"

"Better yet" said Yonghwa smiling at them "Let's eat out. Race your hand if you agree with me" He raised one of his hands and with difficulty managed to grab Beet as he made him raise one of his paws. Eun Mi laughed and raised her hand too. "We have 1, 2, 3 votes. I guess we are eating out"

Seohyun just shook her head at her future husband, not in a million years he would change. But she loved him just like that. Her own Yong Choding. "Eun Mi finish your grapes and your juice; Then take a quick bath" Seohyun moved to the sink to clean the mess.

"We are going to the police after breakfast" said Yonghwa in a low voice as he approached her and left Beet on the floor. "It is going to be a long day, be ready Seohyun"

"Ok" was Seohyun is short answer. She has prepared herself for what was going to come. She was ready to face her demons…

* * *

She wouldn't describe her day as long, it have been pure hell. They have expended more than 10 hours giving declarations in the police station, she was tired and Eun Mi too, her little daughter has fallen sleep and luckily the Police Capitan let them use the couch in his office to let Eun Mi sleep. Yonghwa had contacted his lawyers and together they have come to the police station to put the complaint against the crazy man after her.

Yonghwa was interviewed first and after an hour they began to interrogate her in another room. It was endless, but she has answered all their questions, how it began, since when she received the letters, if she though the stalker was someone she knew… That last have left her thinking, but she couldn't think of anyone. They kept the letters as evidence and promised to begin the investigation immediately. Yonghwa have left a complaint for attempt murder and she left a complaint for stalking. It was all they could do for now and the only thing left was to patiently wait. Hoping for the best.

"There is a reporter outside" said one of the officers as they collected their things. Yonghwa moved to the couch and carried the sleeping Eun Mi in his arm.

"That could be a problem" said Yonghwa as he settled Eun Mi comfortably in his arms. "I don't want anyone molesting my family"

"Don't worry sir we will help you to get to your car" said the officer as he moved to talk with some of his co-workers.

Seohyun watched Yonghwa's lawyer approach him and whisper something to him. Yonghwa nodded and extended his free hand to shake it with his lawyer before they bid farewell. Seohyun approached Yonghwa and told him "What was that about?"

"I will explain you later" said Yonghwa as they moved to the door "I want to get out of here as soon as possible"

Seohyun nodded and walked beside him, the officers were waiting for them by the door and Seohyun though it was best to cover Eun Mi before going out. She took off the shawl she had draped around her neck and stopped Yonghwa to cover their daughter with it. He smiled reassuringly at her and they began to walk together to the exit, this time Seohyun holding his free hand.

As soon as they stepped out they were welcomed by the flash of a camera, the officers walked in front of them as they descended the stairs to the parking lot, once on the street the questions began to rain. "What are you two doing here?... Are you two together?... Is that little girl your daughter?... Seohyun-shi this is the reason you abandoned SNSD before?..." She felt Yonghwa tightening his hold in her hand as he moved forward without stopping, the officers were keeping the reporter at a distance, but they couldn't shut the man up. Free of speech and all that.

Once beside the car Yonghwa let Seohyun enter first in the back seat and then left Eun Mi in her arms. He closed the door and Seohyun watched how Yonghwa approached the reporter, Yonghwa was talking in a low voice to the man, she couldn't hear what Yonghwa was saying to him, but she could see the color of the reporter is face draining.

Yonghwa got in the car and moved them out of the parking lot. They stayed in silence for a while and then her curiosity won the battle she was having inside of her. "What did you tell him?" asked Seohyun curiously.

"That if a read a single piece of our encounter in the police station in the news, I was going to sue him to hell and back for interfering in a police investigation" said Yonghwa calmly as he stopped in a red light. "No one mess with my family and certainly not that man… I really hate him"

Seohyun frowned she have never hear him talk like that about anyone "Why?"

"Don't you remember?" said Yonghwa looking at her from the rearview mirror "He was the one that caught us in photos at the Han River when our relationship was discovered and he was the one that took the photos of our epic fight in the parking lot during the Daesang Awards"

"I really don't remember" said Seohyun thinking hard trying to place the man "I have watched so many reporters through my life that one more or one less is not a big issue"

"Well, I do remember him and I totally hate him… If he hadn't caught us in those Photos during our date in Han River…" Yonghwa trailed off as he watched Seohyun looking at him from the rearview mirror.

"What it is done is done Yonghwa" said Seohyun smiling reassuringly at him.

They expend the rest of the trip to their home in silence. Yonghwa helped Seohyun with Eun Mi and let Seohyun open the door of the house for him. Once inside she turned on the lights and was surprised to found in the living room several white boxes. She approached the boxes and found one addressed to her, she looked at Yonghwa in confusion and he just smiled at her.

"Open it" said Yonghwa as he put Eun Mi slowly in one of the couches.

Seohyun carefully untied the ribbon attached to the box and to her surprise found a pretty white dress inside of it. She put the dress over her front and looked down; it was pretty with a lot of crystals attached around the chest area and the silk of the skirt falling freely down a little over her knee. "What is this?"

"A wedding dress for you, for our weeding" said Yonghwa as he approached her and caressed the silk of the skirt. "Do you like it?"

"I love it!" said Seohyun happily "But Yonghwa don't you think it is a little too soon to be buying these things… How all this got here?" said Seohyun signaling all the boxes around the living room "We haven't even decided the date"

"Tomorrow" said Yonghwa as he opened the box addressed to him. He took out a simple black jacket and turned it around before continuing "Back in the station my lawyer told me that all the paper work has been arranged, we are getting married tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. in the city hall"

"What!?" Asked Seohyun trying to control her voice to not wake up Eun Mi. "Are you crazy how did you planned all that? When?... Don't you need my identification to get a license to marry?"

"As Eun Mi and I were waiting for you, I decided to make use of the time and arranged everything; your purse was with me so it was easy to give all the documents to my lawyer. Luckily the boys arrived at noon and they helped me with the shopping" said Yonghwa smiling at her as if nothing was wrong "They were pretty reluctant but I threatened them on making them babysit Eun Mi, so they agreed to run the errands… Eun Mi even helped to pick your dress as they emailed us all the possible choices"

Seohyun was so shocked that she didn't know what to say, words were failing her and the only thing she could say was "You are crazy"

"Crazy in love with you, yes" said Yonghwa as he draped his arms around her waist. He kissed her lips lightly and then added "Look the things I do to assure myself that you are not running away again" He kissed her cheek "Say yes Seohyun, we could have the civil service tomorrow and then have a bigger wedding later" He kissed her neck and buried his face on her neck "Please Seohyun-ah let's get married tomorrow"

Seohyun is eyes were full of tears, how could he think she would run away from him again, never in a million years was she letting this man go. "Yes" was her breathless answer "Let's get married tomorrow"

Yonghwa looked at her, smiled sweetly and said in a whisper before her lips "You have make me the most happy man on earth, thank you Seohyun-ah" before planting a scalding hot kiss on her lips. Yes, from tomorrow she would be all his, forever and ever, life couldn't get any better than this.

* * *

"You look lovely" said Yonghwa as he watched Seohyun walk down the stairs of his house. She looked more than lovely, her skin was glowing and her sparkling eyes were telling him a million secrets and much more, he was pleased with himself when she blushed as he ran his eyes up and down her perfect body. The dress fitted her perfectly, hugging her waist and draping himself sensually over her hips, the skirt of the dress, falling over her knees, flowing with each step she took… She was perfect… A real Goddess and all his in less than a couple of hours.

"You look good too" said Seohyun to Yonghwa as she walked to him. He was wearing all black and it made his look sexy as hell and the look he was giving her, it promised retribution in the night. She winked at him and then looked at her daughter that stood beside him. She smiled as she watched Eun Mi gaping at her; she crouched in front of her daughter and told her "Do you like it?"

"Omma you look like a princess!" said Eun Mi as she looked admiringly at her mother.

"You look like a princess too" said Seohyun as she caressed her daughter is hair. Eun Mi was wearing a pink dress etched with flowers all around the skirt; her little daughter looked so pretty, with her pink shoes and pink head band.

"Well, it is time to go or we are going to be late" said Yonghwa as he grabbed her bag with some change of clothes. "The boys are waiting for us at the hall" Yonghwa looked down at Eun Mi and smiled at her "You are going to meet your crazy uncles in a few minutes, be prepared"

Seohyun laughed merrily as she moved out of the house "I think the ones that need to be prepared are them…"

* * *

Yonghwa looked pleased at the picture before him. As always Seohyun was right; his daughter was a total charmer and had her uncles uhhhing and ahhhing around her since the moment she stepped in the hall.

"Hyung I don't know how this little pretty thing came out of you?" said Jungshin seriously as he looked at Minhuyk playing with Eun Mi. They were waiting for the judge to appear. Yonghwa gave Jungshin a murderous look "Don't take it wrong Hyung but she looks exactly like her mother… Luckily" added Jungshin in a whisper for himself at the end.

Jonghyun caught the last part and began to laugh. Yonghwa glared at him again and said "What did you say?"

"Nothing, Nothing" said Jungshin putting distance between him and Yonghwa "You are lucky to have such a little charmer, she is going to be a heartbreaker just like her mother" Jungshin put a hand under his shin and fixed his gaze in the ceiling trying to recall the facts "Poor Jinwoon never got over it and let's not talk about JungMo… It was bad enough with Junsu after her and one of her managers, but then that guy from that rookie group… ahhhh what was his name…?"

"Jungshin I advise you to just shut up your big mouth this instant if you don't want to found yourself food for the fish in Han River" said Jonghyun calmly as he watched Yonghwa is murderous look directed on Jungshin.

Jungshin looked at Yonghwa and immediately hide behind Jonghyun "Sorry Hyun, I got carried away" said Jungshin as he pleaded with his hands together.

"You…" began to say Yonghwa but was stopped by a commotion on the outside, suddenly the doors burst open and the Soshi girls arrived just in time.

"Are we late?" asked a panting Taeyeon trying to catch her breath "We have run all the way here"

"Yes you are on time" said Yonghwa as he smiled at his sister in laws is disheveled looks. He had talked to Hyoyeon yesterday telling her his plans to marry Seohyun the next day… His ear was still hurting from the loud scream she gave in the phone and then was hurting a little more as one by one her unnies, gave him a piece of their mind… It has been an interesting hour of his life spent on the phone… Then came the recriminations, why he couldn't move the wedding for later… Well, he couldn't tell them that he wanted to secure Seohyun for himself, it will sound weird and probably he was the only one who could understood his crazy obsession on making things official. So he opted for the easy way out, silence. In the end, luckily their plane arrived early in the morning in Korea so they were able to get in time.

They really looked like a total mess, black circles under their eyes (from the early flight maybe), they were wearing from shorts to pants that looked like pajamas and from fitting revealing shirts to oversized sweaters. Soshi girls were a sight to behold.

"Jung Yonghwa if not because you are marrying our Hyunie today, I will kill you!" said Jessica as she pointed her finger to his chest. "And you" said Jessica pointing her finger threateningly to the other boys who stood straight as if they have been given an order from a higher rank officer "Why are you wearing tuxedos?"

"Well…" tried to explain Minhuyk but was stopped by Jessica.

"_IF_we are going to look like a total mess in those wedding photos you too are going to be the same" She narrowed her eyes at them and said frostily "Take your jackets off… Now"

"Hyung" said Minhuyk to Jonghyun in a whisper as they began to take out their jackets "Do you think it is normal that I get hot, when Jessica give us orders in a threateningly way"

"Man, you are wasted" said Jonghyun smiling as he patted Minhuyk is back "Good Luck with that pack of troubles"

"Where is Seohyun?" asked Hyoyeon after kissing her boyfriend on the lips.

"Ewww Hyo not in front of us" said Yoona teasingly.

Hyoyeon stuck out her tongue "You are only jealous" she smiled at her friends "So where is Seohyun?"

"She is in the white room down the hall, we are waiting for the judge" said Jonghyun feeling a little sick in the stomach looking how Jungshin and Hyoyeon couldn't take their hands of each other. "For the love of God we have kids in here! Get a room!" exclaimed Jonghyun when it was too much for his eyes.

To tell the truth Eun Mi was not even paying attention because she was been rounded by her aunts. Tiffany was crouched in front of her talking with the little girl as Yuri, Sunny and Sooyoung admired her pretty dress. But none the less, Jungshin and Hyoyeon jumped apart in an instant. Hyoyeon blushing and Jungshin grinning down at his little girlfriend.

Everyone around the room began to laugh but it was stopped when the judge entered the room. The girls rushed out to find Seohyun; Yonghwa could hear the happy squeals from down the hall to the room they were in. He smiled to himself as he watched his brothers grinning at him, Jungshin and Minhuyk took their place in the front row as Jonghyun stood by his side as his best man.

After a while one by one the Soshi girls returned to the room, Hyoyeon walking all the way to the altar to stand as bridesmaid. After everyone was in position Seohyun walked in holding Eun Mi is hand. She had a simple bouquet of white lilies in her hand and as she stood there, her sparkling eyes looking at him, he could feel all the pieces coming back together… His heart burst with joy as he watched her slowly approaching the altar smiling happily at him. In a second she reached his side, Tiffany grabbed Eun Mi is hand and sat with her in the front row as the judge began to speak.

The judge gave a quick sweet little speech and when they repeated their vows Seohyun could hear some of her unnies sniffing and silently crying as they watched the ceremony. Before they knew it, they were exchanging rings and then they were signing the married certificates.

"Now I declare you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride" said the judge.

Without notice Yonghwa grabbed her by the waist and turned her around bending over her; She have to grab him by the neck because she was scared he was going to let her fall down, but then he kissed her and she forgot where she was and who was looking. She could hear the cat calls in the distant and the cheers from her friends and even hear Tiffany saying "Eun Mi close your eyes…" and screaming at them "Get a room!"

Yonghwa stopped the kiss and grinned down at her "Mrs. Jung, Did I rock your world?"

She could hear the groans of disgust and the fake gagging from her friends but she smiled up at her now very-cheesy-grinning-husband, she approached her mouth to his ear and told him in a whisper "Yes, you did. But tonight I will be the one rocking your world"

He groaned and kissed her quickly again, before letting her stand up again. Then came the hugs, the tears, the photos and more hugs, more tears and more photos. After a while the mini chaos ended and they decided to go celebrate the happy union in a restaurant.

Seohyun moved to the little room she have been using before, she needed to collect her things and Eun Mi needed to go to the bathroom. After she helped Eun Mi in the bathroom she got back with her daughter into the room to collect her things. She entered the place and grabbed her bag, when she turned around she found a man standing behind the door. She hurriedly moved and grabbed Eun Mi is hand to move her behind her. "What are you doing here sir?" asked Seohyun hurriedly as a very bad feeling began to settle in the pit of her stomach and a cold chill ran down her back looking at the way the man was looking at her.

"How could you do this to me my love!?" asked the man in an angry voice. "You married that bastard!"

The man was using a baseball cap but she could see his face clearly "You? It was you all this time? You are sick!?"

"Yes, it was me, but you never paid me any attention!" said the man angrily at her "But we are not talking in here.."

"I'm not going any place with you" said Seohyun as she stood her ground. But then all the blood drained from her face when the man showed her the gun he was hiding under his jacket.

"You are going to be a good girl and do as I say" said the man slowly as he approached her.

Seohyun backed away from him, keeping Eun Mi behind her. Her grip in her daughter is hand reminding her that she needed to stay cool and collected to deal with this crazy man. She needed to get her daughter out of the picture. "I will go with you willingly if you let my daughter go, she doesn't have anything to do with this"

"Oh she has everything to do" said the man grinning crazily at her "She is the daughter of that bastard, I told you to stay away from him but you didn't listen!"

Seohyun wanted to cry but she couldn't show her weakness to this man, she needed to negotiate Eun Mi is release "We are not going anywhere if you keep screaming like that, as I told you I will go with you willingly and you will let my daughter go"

"I don't have any use for her so do as you please as long as you behave nothing _bad _is going to happen" said the man as he opened the door with one hand and grabbed hold of the gun with his other hand.

Seohyun turned quickly to her daughter, she could see her eyes were full of tears, at some level her daughter understood what was happening, she caressed her daughter is hair and told her in a very low voice. "Eun Mi as soon as we walk out the door, I want you to run and find your Appa" Eun Mi shaked her head no as tears ran down her cheeks. "You have to do this for Omma" said Seohyun as her voice cracked and tears gathered in her eyes. "Promise me you will find your Appa… Promise me Eun Mi" She watched her daughter nod and it gave her the courage to do what needed to be done. She walked slowly out of the room, keeping her eyes fixed in the man, as soon as they crossed the threshold she let go of Eun Mi is hand and told her "Run. Don't look back" She felt the man grabbing her upper arm the pressure painful but she keep looking as Eun Mi ran down the hall. The man dragged her a few steps to the end of the hall were the elevator was waiting. And in that moment she looked at him, Yonghwa entering the hall as she was dragged inside the elevator.

She could hear her daughter screaming "APPA!" as she ran to him. Yonghwa looked at her; their eyes clashed, a world of meaning in those few seconds '_Protect her please'_. Then Yonghwa began to run in Eun Mi is direction and in that moment she noticed it, the crazy man have pulled out his gun and was pointing it at her family, she couldn't let him hurt them. She pushed him to the side as a loud BANG resonated inside the place, she looked out as the doors of the elevator were closing Yonghwa and Eun Mi were not in sight '_Please God let then be ok_' though Seohyun as she gathered her courage. She was going to fight the bastard back to her death if necessary, but before she could do anything, she felt a hand covering her nose and mouth, the hand had a cloth that smelled funny and little by little she began to lost consciousness of the world around her…

Her last though as her world turned black '_Please God let then be ok'_

* * *

_"Hyung you are a lucky bastard" said Jonghyun as he patted Yonghwa is back. "She is a real goddess"_

Yonghwa grinned at his friend and then watched with a smile on his face as Seohyun walked out of the room with Eun Mi at her side. He was a married man now and he couldn't be happier. Seohyun looked radiant, her smile as bright as the sun and all his; from this moment on no one could get between them… No one. "Thank you, I know" said Yonghwa smiling at his friend, he looked around himself and watched as the chaos began again, the girls were chatting none stop, teasing Jungshin and Hyoyeon about when they were going to tie the knot too.

He watched amusedly as Jungshin ran a shacking hand through his hair, the poor guy was nervous… He pitied him a little, he has been in the receiving end of the Soshi girls is prodding and it was not a funny thing… Not at all, those girls could become pretty scary when they wanted too. All sweet smiles and a tongue sharper than a knife…

He moved his attention from Jungshin is suffering, to the budding romance in the other corner of the room. The quiet shy Minhuyk had gathered his courage and was talking to Jessica as they sat together in the last row. He has never seen Jessica smiling like that to anyone he knew, Minhuyk must be using his charms to the max… 'Good for him' though Yonghwa as he smiled when Jessica hit Minhuyk lightly in his arm as she merrily laughed about something he had said… Ok, Jessica had the sweet/defenseless/take-care-off-me act on… Well Minhuyk have some possibilities there if he kept the good work.

He looked at his watch, Seohyun was taking her time. He thought best to help her "I will look for my wife, gather the kids so we can get going" said Yonghwa to Jonghyun as he moved to the door. He was thinking where to go after the celebration as he entered the hall, when he watched Eun Mi running in his way her face drenched in tears, he looked up and watched full of dread as Seohyun was dragged into the elevator by a man. He heard his daughter scream for him "APPA!" resounded in his head as he and Seohyun looked at each other, her eyes full of worry, he could understand her silent plea… And then he looked at the man, he recognized him immediately and watched in horror as he took a gun out of his jacked and pointed it in their direction.

Eun Mi was running to him, she was right in the path of the gun. He sprinted from his spot, all the years of training in the army etched in his skin like a second skin. He grabbed Eun Mi in his arms and turned pressing her against the wall his body covering her, he heard a sharp BANG and when he looked up the doors of the elevator were already closed. He looked down at his daughter "Are you all right?" He checked for any wound, he found none. 'Thank you God' thought Yonghwa as people began to gather in the hall.

He ran back to his friends "Seohyun was taken by a man" said Yonghwa hurriedly as gasps of horror and dread filled the hallway. "Tiffany please take care of Eun Mi, take her to some place safe, with a lot of security" said Yonghwa as he left a crying Eun Mi in Tiffany is arms. "I am going after that bastard"

He didn't wait for an answer and began to run down the hallway to the elevator, the thing have stopped in the basement of the building, luckily they were only in the fourth floor, he took the emergency stairs in a death sprint. He could hear the boys following him close as he took the stairs three steps at a time, his blood was rushing to his ear, he was worried, he needed to get to her as soon as possible.

Once in the basement he looked frantically around him and jumped to the side as a car almost ran over him, he looked at the driver it was the damn man. He looked at the license plate and dialed the detective is number as he reached his car "Fucking bastard!" screamed Yonghwa as he watched the four tires of his car flat.

Luckily the detective answered in the second ring and he began to talk immediately "Seohyun was taken away by a man; it was the reporter that was waiting for us yesterday outside the police station… His name is Kim Jae, he works for sports Korea… He is driving a white car the license plate is 57KPL22, he just went out of the basement parking lot of the city hall" he turned around and watched as his friends gathered around him, his heart was beating a thousand miles per hour, he didn't want to think about what that man could do to his Seohyun, If he let those thoughts overcome him, he wouldn't be able to think with a cool head, he needed to stay calm "You would be able to track him?" asked Yonghwa as he signaled to Jonghyun to get his car. "Ok. I will go to the police station immediately" said Yonghwa as he finished the call. He wouldn't be able to catch up with the man, with his flat tires he has lost a lot of time, but the police could track the man with the security cameras around the city.

Jonghyun pulled his car beside him. Yonghwa looked at Jungshin "Go with the girls, I will keep in contact with you" then he looked at Minhuyk "Minhuyk I need you to get me something from my house. My security box is in my closet the password is 062891" He watched Minhuyk repeat the number for himself "Please bring me the black box inside of it. We will meet at the police station in KangMan near my house."

He didn't wait for an answer, he jumped inside Jonghyun is car and tried to keep his calm as Jonghyun drove as fast as the traffic allowed him to the police station. Once in the police station they receive a briefing from the detective "We are tracking him through the cameras, he is moving north to the outside of the city, right now my men are checking his background to guess where he is heading, a few units have been send after him, I am going to follow them right now" said the detective as he began to grab his things.

One of the officers interrupted them he was breathless "We found something" said the man trying to catch his breath "Kim Jae leased a property a year ago in DongWon an hour to the north through the highway"

"That is it!" said the detective as he grabbed the paper the officer was holding. "Let's move!" said the detective to the members of his team.

"I am going with you" said Yonghwa to the man as he walked beside him. "We will follow in our car"

"I can't stop you, but this is going to be dangerous we don't know what this man could be hiding in that house" said the detective as they walked to the parking lot.

Jonghyun and he walked to Jonghyun's car and luckily Minhuyk reached them before they went away. "Jump in" said Yonghwa as they stopped beside Minhuyk. "Did you get it?"

"Yes" said Minhuyk as he handed Yonghwa the black box "Hyung is that what I am thinking"

Yonghwa put his hand over the cover of the box, fitting his hand to the handprint recognition system, the box unlocked and he took out his favorite gun… A black 9mm Beretta that was his gift to himself after he was discharged from the army. He had been discharged with honors from his division, the best sniper title etched to his name. He hadn't wanted to lose practice so he had applied for a license to carry weapons and then bought the gun. Never though it will came down to this, but for Seohyun he could do anything… No matter what.

He took out one of the bullet chargers and put it on the weapon, expertly clearing the barrel with a swift move.

Jonghyun looked at the gun briefly "Didn't know you had a gun… Nice one."

"I bought it for practice, never thought I will have to use it someday" said Yonghwa as he took two replacement chargers out of the box and placed them in the inside pockets of his jacket. "If something happens to Seohyun that man is going to pay under my hands" said Yonghwa as he tightly pressed the gun between his hands. 'No one was going to hurt his Seohyun… No one!'

* * *

_Her head hurt a lot… That was the first though that crossed her mind as she opened her eyes, the light from the ceiling blinding her for a few moments as she tried to open her eyes. She stirred a little and tried to move, but she found herself with her hands tied in her back, the headache was so intense that she felt tears gathering in her eyes. A wave of nausea gathered in the pit of her stomach and she had to take several the deep breaths to control the urge to throw up… 'What did that man make me smell' thought Seohyun as she tried to control another wave of nausea._

When the nausea wave dropped she tried to move again, she opened her eyes and found the man sitting in front of her, she looked around and found herself in a room with no windows. The room was messy with a lot of garbage gathered everywhere. She looked down and found herself lying in a bed. After finishing with her recognition of the room, she moved her eyes to the man sitting in the chair in front of the bed. She glared at him… Even if her head was splitting in two she wouldn't let him see her weakness.

"You are awake my goddess" said the man as he extended one of his arms to touch her face. Seohyun moved out of his reach "You are a feisty little thing; you didn't look like that before"

"I am not a girl anymore" said Seohyun with a lot of venom in her voice, she watched as the man tried to touch her again and she moved back "Don't touch me!"

"Let's see if you say the same thing in a few hours" said the man smiling sadistically at her. It gave her the creeps, but she kept herself calm. "You have slept several hours, I would bring you something to drink, after that I am sure you will be more than willing to let me touch you"

Seohyun shivered and glared at him as she watched him walk out the door "Not even death will I drink something you bring me" said Seohyun to herself; she needed to think she didn't have much time… Luckily all the years of training as a dancer made her flexible enough to pass her tied hands under her legs to her front. She began to unknot the rope that kept her hands tied with her teeth, after a little fight she managed to free herself. She stood up from the bed wobbling a little, the headache was killing her but she needed to keep moving if she wanted to save herself, her daughter needed her and she was not going to end in the hands of this psycho.

She looked around her at the walls and was surprised to find picture after picture after picture of her in different stages of her life pasted to the walls, a cold chill run down her back just thinking how this sick man was so obsessed with her.

She moved around the room looking frantically for something heavy to hit him, she found a thick piece of wood lying in one corner, she rushed to the door and waited patiently for the man to come back. Her heart was raising a million miles per hour, but she needed to stay calm, the adrenaline running through her body keep her awake and alert, just waiting for the right moment. The door slowly opened again and she stopped breathing waiting for the man to move a little more into the room, he didn't know what happened to him because before he could turn completely around to look for her, she hit him in the head with all her might. She watched him fall back dropping the mug he was carrying, she waited to see if something happened but he didn't move.

She approached him a little and watched in relief that he was still breathing… A very ugly gash over his forehead was bleeding a lot. She looked down and found the gun resting in the waist of his pants, she rushed forward and grabbed for the gun, he could wake up in any moment and she would have more possibilities with a gun in her hand. She turned around to run out of the room, but something grasped her ankle and she felt to her side with a loud thud. She was disoriented for a few moments, losing her grasp on the gun and the wooden piece.

She felt the crazy man dragging her down under him; she began to fight with all her might. His blood stained face smiling manically at her as he began to grope her over her clothes. She would not let him touch her; she began to trash with all her might as he began to tear her clothes apart. He slapped her hard when she didn't stayed still, she wanted to cry but she wouldn't give him the pleasure, she hit him with her arms, scratched his face, screamed to his face but nothing was working he was stronger, a deep terror settle in her when he managed to grab a hold of her legs with his.

She felt him approach her face, liking her neck as the blood from his wound slid over her face and her clothes, his hands grabbing handfuls of her skirt pushing it up… She moved her head to side closing her eyes trying not think about the revulsion she felt with this man licking her neck, touching her 'This cant end this way' thought Seohyun as she tried to figure out what to do, she opened her eyes and found the wooden piece in front of her, she extended her right arm, she was so close to reach it, in one last surge of strength she jerked up and manage to grab a hold of the wooden piece, without thinking she smashed the thing in the man is head grabbing the momentum to push him away as he howled in pain.

Seohyun turned around and began to crawl away; the gun was in front of her she reached for the gun as the man grabbed her ankle again and turned her around. It happened so fast, she turned, the gun in her hands and the man jumped on her trying to take the gun from her hands, she began to fight and then the loud ringing of a BANG was the only thing that filled the room as she felt a warm stain drenching the front of her dress…

* * *

_Yonghwa was waiting outside with the rest of the officers waiting for the signal to go in, the car they have been looking for was parked in the outside; he was listening closely to the plans until they heard a loud BANG coming from the back of the house. He didn't think it. He rushed to the house, taking his gun from the back of his waist, he could hear people screaming at him to stop but he didn't care. He reached the front door and tear it down with a powerful kick. He moved to the side and checked around before entering the house, gun first._

He moved carefully around the house, he looked back for a moment and found the detective and several officers trailing after him. He moved slowly to the only open door in the hallway, he approached the door carefully and looked inside the room quickly. Then he moved carefully inside as he watched a trembling Seohyun holding a gun in her shaking hands, her dress was teared beyond recognition her blood stained clothes and face don't made him feel any better, but the worst thing was the look on her eyes, she looked so lost, the light was not there anymore… He didn't want to think what could have happened to her; he needed to be strong for the both of them.

He kicked the man lying face down in the floor, he didn't move. He put his gun back in the waist of his pants at his back and approached Seohyun palms up. "Seo Joo Hyun, look at me" said Yonghwa as he approached her trembling self slowly. She returned out of her daze and he looked how her eyes slowly filled with tears when their eyes meet. "Give me the gun my love"

She looked down at her blood stained hands and back at Yonghwa "I killed him"

"Whatever happened here was in self-defense Seohyun" said Yonghwa as he closed the distance between them. "I would have done exactly the same thing" said Yonghwa slowly looking at her reassuringly "Everything is going to be fine, now give me the gun Seohyun-ah". With shaking hands Seohyun gave him the gun and Yonghwa immediately give it to one of the officers that have entered the room behind him. He turned around and immediately draped her in a powerful hug, he let her cry all she wanted as he caressed her back slowly, letting her trembling body feel the warm of his embrace.

"He is not death" said one of the officers as he checked the man is pulse crouching beside him; they have turned the body around to check his vital signals. "You didn't kill him, Mrs. Jung, it is a through and through wound, he will live.

Seohyun looked at the officer surprised, her relieve was so much that she started to cry again "Thank you God" said Seohyun as she hugged Yonghwa letting him support her weight, she was so tired.

Yonghwa took a careful look at Kim Jae lying on the floor.

"Call the paramedics" said the officer turning around a little still crouching beside Kim Jae. What happened next was a total mess, he watched in slow motion as things happened exactly as it happens in the really bad movies… How the stupidity of one man risked the life of everyone involved.

He looked as Kim Jae reached for the gun that the officer had loosely grabbed in his hand, in the momentum the officer lost his weapon and his balance. Yonghwa watched in alarm how Kim Jae pointed the gun in their direction. Yonghwa turned a little putting himself in front of Seohyun and taking his gun out from the back of his waist in the process, without thinking he pointed the gun to Kim Jae is chest and pulled the trigger, several shots sounding at the same time.

He looked around the room and several officers and the detective have pulled their trigger in Kim Jae's direction before, the now death man, could pull the trigger on them. With several bullet holes in his torso it was not a pretty sight. So he covered Seohyun as he moved them outside the room.

She told him the man has given her something and she wasn't feeling well, so he rushed her to the hospital. He didn't care about the officers trying to stop him as he took Seohyun away… The detective could question her in the hospital.

* * *

_"How are you feeling?" asked Yonghwa as he approached her in the hospital bed. She looked so pale, the shock of everything that has happened to her have drained her. She looked so small, she extended her hand and he took it as he stopped beside her bed._

He pressed her hand between his strongly; he couldn't stand even the thought about what happened to her, of what could have happened… Just remembering how she related to the detective what had happened to her in that house made him want to kill Kim Jae with his own hands again… and again… and again.

"Fine" said Seohyun looking in Yonghwa is direction; she smiled a little at him. He looked really worried. "I am going to be fine" said Seohyun as she grabbed his hand in a very strong hold.

"I am sorry for what happened Seohyun" said Yonghwa as he sat in the edge of her bed.

Seohyun smiled sweetly at him again "It was nobody is fault, that man was crazy… I am glad he is gone"

"If he wasn't death already I would have killed him with my own two hands" said Yonghwa with feeling.

"Let's not think about it anymore, I really want to forget it" said Seohyun as she looked at their joined hands "We have lost enough time Yonghwa"

"Yes, we have" said Yonghwa smiling down at her. "If this is a glance at how is going to be the rest of our married life, I think I will need to rethink my decision" He looked at Seohyun frowning at him and kissed her on the lips before she could say anything "I am just kidding Seohyun, there is no power on earth that could make me turn away from you…" He kissed her more deeply when he watched her smiling fondly at him. He stopped the kiss and added "Unless Mrs. Jung you decide to kick me out of your life, but even there I will give a hell of fight before giving up"

"Never Mr. Jung" said Seohyun as she draped her hands around his neck to return the kiss. It was a simple, comforting caress that filled her with warm. "I love you" said Seohyun as he ended the kiss.

"I love you too" said Yonghwa as he moved to kiss her again, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Come in" said Yonghwa as he stood up.

"Hello, look who is here for a visit" said Tiffany entering the room with Eun Mi at her side.

"Hello my princess" said Seohyun as she sat in bed with the help of Yonghwa.

Eun Mi walked slowly holding a little teddy bear, she looked afraid. "Why don't you show your Omma what we brought her?" said Tiffany encouragingly as she nudged Eun Mi forward.

Eun Mi slowly approached the bed and hold out the teddy bear to her Omma "Is this for me? Thank you!" said Seohyun as she hugged the little teddy bear. "But come here, give me a hug" said Seohyun as she bend forward to grab her daughter, Eun Mi grabbed hold of her Omma is neck and Yonghwa helped her to pull Eun Mi to the bed to lie down beside her. "My little princess I missed you so much" said Seohyun as she caressed her daughter is hair, she felt her daughter is strong hold on her and told her in whisper "What is wrong my love? You can tell me anything" Seohyun nudged her daughter is head to the side to look at her in the eyes "What is wrong my love?"

"Is the bad man coming back to take you away?" asked Eun Mi as a tear escaped her eyes.

Seohyun is heart was breaking for her daughter "Not anymore my love, not anymore, he has gone away and he won't bother us again" She looked at Yonghwa silently asking for support.

He approached the bed and caressed Eun Mi is hair "He is not coming back, trust me"

"You promise Appa?" asked Eun Mi looking up at her dad.

"Yes I promise" said Yonghwa as he smiled fondly at his beautiful daughter and his beautiful wife, the two most important people in his life… He would do anything in his hand to keep them safe, from now on they were going to live like the family they were meant to be from the beginning. No more lost time…

The flash of camera blinded him for a moment. He looked at Tiffany between narrowed eyes "What? The three of you looked so cute together I couldn't help myself" she walked to the door "I would make sure to send you a copy, don't worry" She turned around to throw them a kiss "I will be in the waiting room with the rest of the guys, if you need us you know where to find us"

"Our friends are crazy" said Yonghwa to no one in particular as he watched the door close after Tiffany went out.

"I know but I wouldn't change them for anything in the world" said Seohyun as she moved to the side dragging a sleeping Eun Mi with her. The emotional drain has taken its toll with her daughter as she soundly slept in her arms. She patted the cleared space and silently asked him to accompany them in bed.

Yonghwa removed his jacket and took of his shoes before lying down beside his daughter and his wife; he draped his arm around them and let himself be filled with the most wonderful of feelings…. He loved his family and wouldn't change it for anything in the world. He meet Seohyun is gaze over Eun Mi is head and silently told her "I love you"

He looked how her sparkling eyes shinned just for him as she silently answered back "I love you too"

Yes, this was the best feeling ever… nothing like sharing each moment of each second of each day with your loved ones, how such a little simple thing could bring a grown man to his knees will always stunned him.

He moved his hand to turn off the light and hugged them more securely after that.

"By the way Yonghwa, you better get rid of that gun before I am out of the hospital" said Seohyun seriously. Then she added sweetly "If not you are sleeping out of the house, with your gun"

This was a fight he was not going to win… He was sure she could and would make her threat come true.

Yonghwa smiled… Married life will be a total bliss with his Seohyun. "As you wish my goddess" A man needed to learn to pick his fights and this was one he was going to lose anyway. "As you wish…"

_**Author's Note**__:_

Finally it is over, I feel so relieved…. Hope you have liked it, I have always wanted to write some action in one of my fics and this was the perfect opportunity.

I am too tired the think. Thank you for your reviews in part 1! To tell the truth I almost cried several times while writing the first part… when YH was talking to Eun Mi and in the kitchen when she called him Appa, I was stunned how much feeling I put in those little encounters… Glad you liked it… Man I usually don't cry while writing but that part really put a knot in my throat.

I will make a short full of fluff epilogue, nothing long just to give a fluffly end to this fic. If you have any question, please feel free to ask, I will answer all your inquiries in the epilogue.

Now I need to sleep… Really… Good Luck everyone it was a pleasure to write this fic and I am glad you enjoyed it! :)


	13. Epilogue

**TITLE**: My life without you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the people in this fic. This is just for fun and no money is made from this.

**Epilogue**

"Omma, Appa; Seohyun and I have something to tell you" said Yonghwa calmly as he squeezed Seohyun is trembling hand in his. They have reached his parent's house in Bussan fifteen minutes ago. His father and mother have concealed pretty well their reaction to watch him arriving home at this ungodly hour (it was almost midnight) with Seohyun and most especially Eun Mi sleeping soundly in his arms.

He left Eun Mi sleeping in his room, while Seohyun and his parents greeted each other awkwardly in the living room. And now here they were, the last time he have talked to his parents was two weeks ago to tell her he was going to Hawaii with the boys and now he was here to tell them he was a married man with a child. This was going to be interesting.

"I guessed that much" said Mr. Jung seriously as he looked at them intently. He felt his wife is hand on his arm and looked at her, she was asking him to calm down. They were thinking exactly the same thing; He could see it through her eyes but they needed confirmation. "We will listen and then ask some questions"

"Seohyun and I got married a week ago" said Yonghwa calmly looking at his father in the eyes, he couldn't look at his mother, because he knew he would see her hurt look for not telling them before, but things have been a total rollercoaster and he was really sorry for that but didn't regret any single decision.

"We are really sorry for not letting you know before, Mr. and Mrs. Jung" said Seohyun bowing at them.

Yonghwa looked at his wife with pride; she looked very calm and collected as she sits still under his parents is scrutiny. But he knew otherwise, she has been a nervous wreck since they decided to visit his parents to tell them the news in person.

After their breakup his parents didn't felt much appreciation towards her, especially with the way he was leading his life, jumping from one relationship to other without any sense of responsibility, not until Seohyun entered his life again… He will sacrifice anything for her, she was the love of his life and his parents needed to understand that.

She has been released from the hospital a few days ago and even with some of the bruises still visible in her face, in his eyes, she was nothing but perfection. He squeezed her hand again, giving strength to each other through their interlaced fingers. He looked from Seohyun to his parents and said "We are really sorry, but things happened so fast and I know it is no excuse but we love each other and I want to share our happiness with you too" He looked at his mother and saw tears running down her cheeks "Omma, please don't cry, don't be sad"

His mother laughed a little and whipped her tears "No, I am not crying because I'm sad, I'm crying because finally your two are together, I knew you were perfect for each other and regardless what happened before; I'm really happy" She smiled reassuringly at the young couple sitting in front of them. They looked perfect for each other and never she have been happier for her son, just the way he looked at Seohyun spoke louder than anything he could say. She stood up and moved to the other side to give Seohyun a hug "Welcome to the family"

Seohyun couldn't hold her tears any longer and said between sobs "Thank you so much Mrs. Jung"

The two woman hugged for a long time before Mrs. Jung said "Oh, don't be silly, you can call me Omma as before" She dried Seohyun is tears and moved to the side and called for her husband "Darling, come give your new daughter a hug"

Mr. Jung stood up and smiled at her reassuringly before giving her a hug. He then moved to his son is side and gave him a hug too "Congratulations son, my best wishes for you two"

They sat down again in the couch, this time Mrs. Jung on Seohyun is other side holding Seohyun is hand as she asked "That little girl is your daughter? She looks just like you." Seohyun nodded. "We will love her as she was our own granddaughter never fear for that"

Seohyun could tell the moment her husband was going to speak but she squeezed his thigh preventing him from speaking. She was responsible for what happened and she needed to come clean with her parents in law. She took a deep breath and said "Yes, Eun Mi is my daughter… and Yonghwa's daughter too" A big silence filled the room, everything stood still as the clock reached midnight marking the beginning of new day.

"You knew about this?" asked Mr. Jung looking at his son, after he have recovered enough.

"I learned about my daughter until recently" said Yonghwa calmly as he looked at his father. "She is my daughter and that is the only thing that matter"

"But how?" said his mother to no one in particular "She couldn't be more than five, you broke up more than seven years ago"

"It… It was around the time my parents is death… Yonghwa, he was of great help during that time and… it just happened" said Seohyun stumbling to find the right words.

"That is why you left the country? How could you keep this to yourself?" said Mrs. Jung sounding really hurt.

"I am sorry Omma" said Seohyun squeezing the other woman is hand "I didn't want to drag more people with me." Her tears began to fall again "I am really sorry"

"She sent me a letter explaining everything before leaving Korea, but I never read it" said Yonghwa as he draped his left arm around Seohyun is shoulder, giving her the strength she needed. "It was nobody is fault… Eun Mi is a great child and Seohyun have done really good on her own, but now we are together and hope we can have your blessing"

Mr. Jung and his wife exchanged a look. They needed to talk "Of course son, but right now I think it is best if we all retire for the night, tomorrow we will see things more clearly" Mr. Jung grabbed his wife is arm, he could see she was trying to hold her tears. He knew how his wife felt about their grandchildren, she was really hurt for not knowing about Eun Mi, they will get over it with time, but right now it was best to retire.

Seohyun and Yonghwa stood up too and bowed to them "We really appreciate your support" said Yonghwa as he looked at his parents. He could see his mother was really hurt; she loved his nephews to death and this must be really hard for her. "Omma, I'm not asking for your forgiveness right away, but we would like your understanding" He moved forward and hugged his mother.

"I know" said his Omma as she hugged him back "I just need to get used to the idea" She looked behind him and extended her arm to Seohyun "Seohyun don't step back you are part of this family now" The two woman shared a hug and she told her "We will get through this, I look forward to meeting Eun Mi in the morning and I hope you are planning to stay a really long holiday with us"

There was no question, his mother is well placed request was an order. Well, he needed a holiday too, nothing better than spend it with your loved ones. "Yes Omma. We will finish this conversation in the morning"

He watched silently as his parents retired for the night. "Well, that went well" said Yonghwa as he sat down in the couch beside Seohyun.

"Your mother hates me" said Seohyun as she dried her tears.

"Oh honey, don't say that" said Yonghwa as he hugged her and placed her head on his shoulder. "Yes, she is upset, but she will get over it very soon… Just give her time"

"I just wish things were different"

"Me too, but there is nothing we can do about the past" he kissed the crown of her head and stood up "Lets rest for now, tomorrow is going to be a very long day"

* * *

**_The Next Day_**

"Eun Mi I want you to meet two really special people today" said Yonghwa as he tied Eun Mi is shoes. She was sitting in his bed looking curiously at the posters around the room. His mother hadn't changed anything about his room and to tell the truth it have always made him feel comfortable so he have keep it just like it was during his high school years.

"Who is that?" asked Eun Mi pointing to the wall behind him.

He looked back and smiled to his daughter "That is Bon Jovi, the greatest musician of the last three decades and your Appa's favorite artist too"

"Really?" said Eun Mi as she looked curiously at the poster with Bon Jovi in it.

"Really" He finished with her shoes and stood up "I will show you my collection of his music later, I know you will like him, he will be your favorite too"

"But I have a favorite artist too" said Eun Mi smiling up at him as she grabbed his extended hand.

"Really? And can I know who it is?" asked Yonghwa as he crouched in front of his daughter, he could never get sick of watching her smiling at him, it gave him the best feeling ever. "Or it is a secret?" asked Yonghwa lowering his voice "Can you tell me who is your favorite artist? Don't tell me it is Super Junior?" said Yonghwa feigning a heart attack, making Eun Mi smile at him more widely as she say no with her head "Uhmmm no Super Junior… Shinee, 2PM, Beast, MBLAQ..." Eun Mi keep shaking her head as he named some other idols "You are destroying my heart, can I know who is your favorite artist? Please!" asked Yonghwa with a very fake devastated expression.

Eun Mi giggled at his silliness and said "Of course, it is you Appa"

"Really!" said Yonghwa as he hugged her and stood up "You have me worried for a moment, I think I deserve a kiss for that" said Yonghwa as he filled his right cheek with air. Eun Mi smiled and gave him a very sloppy kiss on the cheek.

He turned around to move out of the room, when he found his parents standing in the doorway. His mother is eyes were full of tears and his father was looking at them fondly.

"Yonghwa she is beautiful" was all his mother manage to say between tears.

"Eun Mi, remember I told you I wanted you to meet two very special people." He watched her nod "Well, Eun Mi meet my Omma and Appa, your Jalmoni and Jaraboji" He looked at his parents and said "Omma Appa this is Eun Mi my daughter"

Eun Mi wiggled her way down and stood very firm in front of him. She gave a little bow and said "Nice to meet Mr. and Mrs. Jung" She then moved to his side and grabbed his hand. He squeezed her little hand reassuringly.

He watched his Omma bow a little and approached them. She crouched in front of Eun Mi and said "Nice to meet you Eun Mi, you are so pretty just like your mother" said Mrs. Jung as she grabbed Eun Mi is free hand "I am really glad to be able to meet your. Please call me Jalmoni"

"Glad to meet you too… Jalmoni" said Eun Mi hesitating a little.

"You are a good girl" said his mother as she caressed Eun Mi's hair "Can I have a hug?"

Eun Mi looked at him asking in silence if it was ok, the knock in his throat didn't let him answer so he just nodded. She approached his mother carefully and let the older woman embrace her in a big hug. His mother stood up with Eun Mi in her arms and called her husband "Come darling, greet our granddaughter properly"

"Hello Eun Mi" said his father as he ruffled her hair and smiled warmly at his granddaughter. "You are so pretty, it is no nice to meet you"

Yonghwa watched in silence as his parents keep their attention on Eun Mi, smiling at her, talking to her. He looked to the door and watched his wife with her eyes full of tears smiling at him. He walked past his parents and grabbed Seohyun is hand "See, I told you everything was going to be fine. She is their only granddaughter, my brother has two boys and living in the states they don't get to see them much, they are going to spoil her a lot"

"I am just glad everything went well" said Seohyun as she kissed Yonghwa is cheek "Thank you for everything"

He smiled cheekily at her and told her in a sexy whisper "I know a few ways you can thank me tonight" he watched her beginning to blush and couldn't help to keep teasing her "I guess my parents can babysit her, did I ever told you about this fantasy I have of making love to you on the beach under the stars…"

"Yonghwa someone could catch us" said Seohyun as she hit him in the arm.

"That is the whole point of it" said Yonghwa keeping with the joke; he knew his wife will never agree to such a public display.

"Uhmm, I will think about it" said Seohyun smiling naughtily at him and then giggled a lot at her husband is surprised expression "What?! It was your idea"

"I know" said Yonghwa as he grabbed her by the waist "And I can't wait to convince you" He kissed her neck and let her go. "I think something is burning"

"Oh God, I left the eggs on the stove!" said Seohyun as she ran to the kitchen.

His wife will never change. He turned to his parents and said smiling "I guess we are eating out. Who wants to eat pancakes?" asked Yonghwa as Eun Mi smiled and raised her hand frantically in the air. "Ok, let's get ready. I better check on my wife before she burns something else"

"She hadn't learned to cook yet?" asked his mother as she helped Eun Mi with her coat.

Yonghwa grabbed his coat from his closet and took Seohyun's coat too "She said she have, but I have a few burned pans in my house that can attest to the contrary" He smiled at his mother "I wouldn't have her any other way"

"You love her a lot" said his mother as she patted his back.

"Yes I do, she is the best thing that have ever happened to me" said Yonghwa as he began to walk to the living room with his mother and Eun Mi.

"You should think about giving her a proper weeding you know?" said his mother in all seriousness "All woman dream about their wedding day and I don't think marriage in the city hall was her idea of a perfect wedding" finished his mother drilling her eyes on him.

"No, it was not" said Yonghwa calmly, he didn't care to carry the blunt of his mother is indignation for not been invited to the wedding. "I guess we need to plan a proper wedding" Another wedding will be good for all of them, his mother will be appeased and they wouldn't have to remember their wedding as the day that crazy lunatic almost ended with their happiness. He smiled, kissed his mother is cheek and said "Omma you are a genius, I will go and give Seohyun the happy news immediately"

* * *

"Another wedding!" said Seohyun surprised as she stopped her scrubbing of the burned pan. One thing was to burn the pans in Yonghwa is house, well it technically was her house too, but another thing was to damage the property of your mother in law.

Yonghwa nodded. "It was my Omma is idea and I think it is fantastic" said Yonghwa as he removed the pan from her hand and hugged her. "Just say yes Seohyun. This time we will plan it with time and invite the rest of our friends and family, we can do it wherever you want"

She hugged him back "I don't need a big wedding Yonghwa, just been with you and Eun Mi is enough for me" she kissed him on the cheek. "Besides that, I don't want a repeat of what happened last time"

"I know, but that is the whole idea" said Yonghwa as he looked at her directly in her eyes. "A new day will mean a new beginning; we don't have to remember our wedding day as it was… Come on Joo Hyun, would you marry me?… Again, Please"

"Well I guess a second time it wouldn't hurt" said Seohyun as she kissed him lightly "Yes I will marry you Mr. Jung… Again" she smiled at him.

"Ah, you have made me the happiest man on earth Mrs. Jung" said Yonghwa as he kissed her back with a lot more intent. "I guess we better hurry before my parents come looking for us, I wouldn't want them to find us in a compromising position"

Seohyun frowned at him. "But we are just kissing, nothing compromising in that"

He smiled naughtily at her and said "Well, if you want, I can enumerated the places and things I was thinking we could do in the kitchen"

She laughed out loud and hit him in the arm as she moved away from him "For God is sake Yonghwa we are in your parent's house"

"That is what it makes it all the more appealing. Don't tell me you are not thinking the same" said Yonghwa as he helped her put on her coat.

She hit him again "You are the naughtiest man I have ever known"

"And I know that you like it" said Yonghwa as he grabbed her by the waist again and kissed her with a lot of purpose robbing her of the capacity to breath or think clearly "I love you, my beautiful bookworm"

She smiled at him, her eyes sparkling full of happiness "I love you too, my choding Nampeon" She kissed him again more lightly "We better go we have a big wedding to prepare."

He laughed "I guess you like the idea after all"

"It was your idea, so you are paying for it…" said Seohyun smiling over her shoulder, gifting him with one of her famous winks, as she moved out of the kitchen.

Yonghwa groaned to himself… Oh well the things he would do to make his wife happy, he just needed to prepare himself "As you wish my goddess" said a little reluctant and smiling Yonghwa as he trailed after his wife, anything to make her happy "As you wish…."

**Author's Note**:

Awww it is over, I feel like crying… T_T

What a pleasure to write this fic, I love it! I am glad you all enjoyed the fic, even if sometimes you wanted to slap Seohyun some sense. Thanks to all the readers for your support through this process, I know this is not the best thing ever or the most original plot but it was a pleasure to write it. Thanks for staying till the end... :)

I want to add some notes and announcement (read, I think you would be happy)

******Why so many songs added in the fic? **  
Well, I love CNBLUE, I love Yonghwa and I love how he always says he can express himself better through his songs… During the time they broke up I found it more in character to have Yonghwa pour his feelings with the situation and about her with songs fitting to his emotional turmoil during those moments. :) Hope you liked the songs.

******Chapter I enjoyed to write the most**  
When Yonghwa and Seohyun found each other after 5 years and when Yonghwa discovered Eun Mi was his daughter.

******Chapter I feel delivered well the feelings I wanted to portray**  
When Seohyun gave birth to Eun Mi. I never read again a chapter I have finished but I don't know, this chapter makes me come back and I enjoy reading it. It was so poignant her feelings during those moments… I really like it.

******Chapter that made me cry**  
When Eun Mi called Yonghwa Appa for the first time. I don't cry while writing my fics, but that part moved me in a way I can't describe… I don't know what happened to me, but that chapter was emotionally draining to write. I guess because I was trying to put myself in the shoes of all the parts involved (Yonghwa, Seohyun and Eun Mi).

******Chapter I laughed the most**  
When they were registering Eun Mi in the kindergarten and the secretary (a die hard goguma) was having a spazz attack with YH and SH in front of her.

******Best Flashback**  
The recollection of Seohyun is videos… I really like the way that part turned out. I was worried because it could be confusing, but in the end all went well.

******Love scene I like the most**  
Whoa they were several and I tried to portray them in accordance with their emotional stage during that time. I must say I like the most the one in the study, I think you could feel their deep need for each other and as much as they didn't want to confront it, their physical attraction was too much to keep it contained any longer. I may appear like some kind of perv, but I think love and emotions can be expressed in a lot of ways, and physical love is just one of the different ways in wich we can express love.

******NOTICE**  
And Last, I had so many ideas for the epilogue, because I love this family very much. That I decided to make a short compilation of drabbles of their life as a family. It will begin with their wedding... A new beginning for all of them. The drabbles will be at random periods of time, but I hope you like the idea.

So this is the end of **MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU** and the beginning of **MY LIFE WITH YOU**… Not original but what the heck, I find it fitting, because before they were living separate lives and now they will be together forever… I am such a sucker for happy endings… XDDDD… Oh well.

Good Luck everyone! Glad you liked the fic. So what you liked the most from the fic? Comments in general or of the epilogue are welcome! BYE! XDDDD Petitions for the drabbles are welcome too!


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